A New Beginning
by numtwelve
Summary: Bella has recently lost her husband of 10 years to a tragic accident. Follow her through the pain of loss and in trying to build a new life for her and her three children. Edward comes back into her life after losing each other in high school...will they be able to build a friendship (or anything else) when Bella is so hurt? Warning: mentions of drugs and adult situations/NC17
1. Prelude - Loss

**A/N: Hello friends! If you read my previous fanfic, this may seem quite different to you. This story has actually been completely written for a long time, I'm just changing it to be a fanfic story. It all started with a nightmare I had that I needed to write down to get out of my head, and then it completely got away from me. LOL.**

**My faithful betas are back with me, torisurfergirl and starpower31, so a big thank you to them for turning this prelude around so fast so I could post it.**

**I hope you enjoy this prelude, and I will try to post updates weekly from now on.**

A New Beginning

Prelude – Loss

"Because I could not stop for Death – he kindly stopped for me. The carriage held but just Ourselves, and immortality."

Emily Dickinson

Bella

The rain was hitting my patio hard; the weather mirrored my emotions…dark and sad. I stared out the window, just watching the rain fall and at my lawn that was quickly becoming a lake. The violence of the rain made me shudder, but I didn't look away. For some reason, I just couldn't. Perhaps I thought it would be safer to continue to stare outside rather than take notice of what was going on inside my house.

_Jacob would have hated this_. Jacob had been my husband for the last ten years, and he was a very simple person. His stomach would have churned if he had seen how many people were walking around our house. But, he was a good and kind man and deserved a memorial.

I thought about all of the things that Jacob and I had been through over the years. We'd had our share of problems, sure, just like any other married couple. But, Jacob was a wonderful father, more than I ever thought possible. He and I had had a great friendship; unfortunately that was all. We were like roommates who had had children together for the last few years of our marriage. I knew that I had loved him, in my own way, but I wasn't _in love_…or I hadn't been for a long time.

Unfortunately, thinking about Jake like that made me feel guilty. My husband died, and I was thinking about how I hadn't been in love with him for years. _Boy, you really are a piece of work, aren't you?_

Jacob had wanted so much for his children. He had quit his job shortly after our first child, JJ, had been born. He had always been excited about children, and he wanted his own to have a life free from day-care. Money had been tight, but we got by. Jake was thrilled when I got pregnant with Leah, our second child. I loved my job and wasn't willing to quit, so he had opted to stay home with our kids. He had always said it was better for the kids to grow up being raised by a parent, not by a stranger. Most of the time, it was great, but there were times when I felt guilty that I wasn't staying home with them. Society always dictated that the mom should stay home, not the dad, but our situation was very different.

Finally, I turned my attention away from the rain and back into the house. All three kids looked up at me at the same time, silently begging me to allow them to escape from Alice. They loved her, even if she was overbearing. It was almost comical the way that each of them held the same expression, and I could have laughed, but I didn't. Today I buried my husband of ten years; today was not a day to smile.

The real show was behind me; my best friend Alice fussing over my three children, my dad Charlie talking to my boss, and my friend Rosalie taking charge of the food in the kitchen. My brother, Jasper, greeted people at the door; there was a constant stream of near strangers coming into my home, setting their umbrellas down and shaking hands with him. It was making me extremely uncomfortable—I didn't like that many people in my house.

Jake had refused to even discuss the possibility of him going back to work until our third child, Emily, was in first grade. He had been adamant; so until that time, we struggled on just my paycheck.

JJ (or Jacob Junior) was only nine, and he was taking his father's death the hardest. He was old enough that he would always remember his father and remember his death. I was considering putting him in counseling to make sure that he was dealing with these emotions that he didn't understand. Without wanting to push him, I decided that I would see how he handled everything before making that choice.

Leah was harder to read. She was only five and in Kindergarten. She could understand some of what was going on, but not everything. Her fiery personality and strong opinions kept me constantly in check. For the millionth time since I had found out Jake was gone, I wondered how I was going to handle her. He was much better with her attitude than I was.

Emily was only two and could either be much harder or much easier; harder because she wouldn't remember Jake, or easier because she wouldn't remember his death. It saddened me to know that she would probably not remember how much he loved her. But, at the same time, she wouldn't remember him dying, so I was thankful for that.

Finally gathering my courage, I turned around to survey my living room. People gathered at the tables, serving themselves food from the trays that Rosalie was handing out. My stomach turned at the thought of food, any food. Logically, I knew that I would have to eat eventually, but if I tried right now, I was sure that I wouldn't hold it down for too long.

"Mommy!" Emily cried, running into my arms. She had managed to wiggle out of Alice's hands. Silently, I picked her up and kissed her forehead. She rubbed her eyes and leaned against me, yawning deeply.

Alice walked over to me, holding Leah's hand, with a concerned expression. "She looks tired…do you want me to put her down for a nap?"

"No, I'll do it," my dad said, walking up to Emily and taking her out of my arms. Emily gazed up at her grandfather with huge brown eyes. He tickled her and carried her, laughing, to her room.

"How are you holding up?" Alice asked me, sitting down next to me on the couch.

"Meh. I'm here." I held my breath and looked around our—my— house and realized that this was the beginning of a new life. I saw a scene in my head of JJ sitting at the table doing his homework, Leah running through the halls with her crayons and Emily screaming from her highchair. Things that Jake had helped me with before were all my responsibility now.

The dead feeling inside my chest exploded and tears started pouring down my face. I felt arms wrap around me from both sides as both Alice and Rosalie surrounded me through my pain. The edge of my vision began to fade as the pain overtook me…enveloped me, causing me to fall into nothingness.

**A/N: So, what did you think? Hopefully an interesting start anyway? Let me know! I'll do my best to update soon!**


	2. Chapter 1 - Figuring it all out

**A/N: Thank you for the supportive words for my new story! I'm really hoping that you all will love it as much as I do.**

**This is the first chapter, but technically is the second part of the prelude. This is, unfortunately, part of Bella's life now that she is a single parent. I hope that everyone understands this story is not just about death, but about dealing with it's aftermath.**

**Thanks again to my beta's torisurfergirl and starpower31!**

**Enjoy! I will try to update once a week.**

A New Beginning

Chapter 1 – Figuring It All Out

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started."

Sally Berger

BPOV

"B, I know this has been a really hard week for you, but you need to wake up now," Alice said, hovering over my bed. I rolled over and looked at her, seeing JJ standing in the doorway to my room. _Why was Alice here?_

_Oh._

"I'm up." Slowly, I got out of bed. Non-physical pain surrounded me, again, as I sat on the edge of my bed. Pushing the tears back, I stood up and made my way out of the bedroom. The living room had been cleaned, removing all of the evidence of the memorial service from the day before. Rosalie and my dad sat at the kitchen table feeding Leah and Emily. Emily looked up and saw me, opening her arms to me.

I walked over to the table and picked her up from the highchair. She snuggled against me for a moment before reaching for her grandfather. Handing her over, I sank into a chair and looked up at Alice. Leah looked up at me and whispered, "Emmy has been sucking her thumb all morning!"

I tried to smile at her, really, I did, but it didn't work. "It's OK, sweetheart. We'll try to teach her not to do it anymore."

"But, Daddy said…" Leah stopped, and her gaze dropped to her breakfast, her little face flushing.

Rosalie put her arms around her and squeezed. "It's OK, honey. She'll be all right. You all will be."

For a brief moment, I was angry with Rosalie. How did she know that we would be all right? My children were all younger than ten, and they had lost their father in the most tragic way…way too young to have lost a parent. Before I could let that emotion get out of control, I squashed it.

"B? Let's go into the living room." Alice was hovering just behind me. I couldn't look at her.

"But, I wanna watch cartoons in there!" Leah practically shouted. My dad stood up, grabbing Emily and motioning for Leah to follow. He took them into the living room and before long, I heard Spongebob on the TV.

"JJ, why don't you go join them?" Alice suggested, turning to face my oldest.

"I don't like Spongebob. He's for babies." JJ pouted. He was so much like his father.

"Then go get a book and read it. We need to talk to your Mom, OK?" Rosalie said, smiling up at him. JJ walked to his room without another word.

I turned my eyes to Rosalie and asked, "What do you need to talk to me about?"

Alice sat down next to Rosalie at the table, and they both looked at me. My dad joined them before either spoke. I felt like I was being ganged up on, and I glared at each one of them in turn.

Finally, Rosalie handed me a few pieces of paper. "Last night, after you went to bed, we wrote down all the things that you will need to take care of. The most important thing is day care."

"Jake didn't want his kids in day-care," I responded numbly.

"I know, Bells, but Emmy is only two-years-old and you work full time. She needs to be taken care of during the day." My dad sat down at the table and pointed to one of the sheets of paper in my hand. "There is a list of preschools and before and after school programs. Unfortunately, until JJ is ten, he isn't old enough to watch himself."

"We also got the paperwork to start the claim to get Jake's life insurance money," Alice said, handing me an envelope. "Since he died in a car accident, you qualify for AD&D." Alice worked at an insurance company, so she knew what she was talking about. "We have all the necessary forms for you to fill out."

"I talked to your boss when she was here yesterday, too, Bella," Rosalie said. "You get one week of bereavement leave, but she also wants you to use some of your vacation you have stored up. You have just over a hundred hours, and she's hoping you use at least two weeks. That will give you enough time to get everything sorted out before coming back."

My head was spinning with all of the information they were throwing at me. "I don't even know how to process all of this. Jake hasn't even been gone a full week! Why do I have to decide everything right now?" I was whining, and I knew it. But, seriously, there is only so much that one person can deal with at a time. This entire process was pissing me off!

"Honey, we know this is overwhelming for you. But, you are a single parent now, and you have to make sure things are set up for your kids. Jake wouldn't have wanted you to shut down," Dad said softly. He didn't bring emotion into his voice, but he conveyed that 'I'm your dad and you have to listen to me' tone that made me sit up and pay attention.

"But, I don't even know where to begin," I whispered, feeling completely powerless.

"That's why we're here," Rosalie announced.

Through the course of the next couple hours, the four of us started making decisions that I was ready to face on my own. My dad had decided that he would stay the rest of the week with me and the kids, just to help out. Rosalie circled the best preschools, promising to call them the next day—this being Sunday—to get price quotes and more information. Alice helped me fill out the insurance paperwork and told me we couldn't send it in until that we received the official death certificate.

They forced me to concentrate, only breaking to deal with the kids, eat and use the bathroom. Each one of them took turns, hammering me until I made a decision about something stupid or simple. My emotions ran from being angry that they were forcing decisions out of me, to being grateful that I hadn't had to think of all of this stuff on my own.

By dinner time, we had finished most of the more pressing issues. There was just one more thing that I had thought of—on my own—that I wanted help with.

"Alice?"

"Yeah, B?"

"I think I want to buy a house." Jake and I hadn't had enough money to buy a house, so we had been renting since we got married. But, I wanted a better place for the kids, and with his insurance money, I could afford to start looking now.

Beaming at me, she responded, "Great! Let's wait until you get the insurance money to do too much, but we can start researching homes and prices."

My dad, however, was a little more practical. "Bells, do you really want to move the kids right now? Isn't that a little too soon?"

Shaking my head, I met his eyes. "There are too many memories of Jake in these walls. I need to separate myself from them as quickly as possible."

"Yes, but those memories are good for the kids, even if they are more painful for you," Dad commented, holding my hand. "Wait until summer at least. That way the kids don't have to switch schools in the middle of the year."

"Fine," I agreed, begrudgingly. I knew he was right, the kids needed to be reminded of their father, and I needed to suck it up and feel what I was feeling without taking anything away from them. "Ali, you can help me find a house during the summer?"

"Of course, B. I'll help you when you are ready."

After Rosalie and Alice made dinner, we sat in the living room watching something on TV. Honestly, I couldn't have told you what it was about. I was locked in my head, reeling from the pain of losing my best friend. Jake and I may have never been perfect, but he was my best friend. I felt like I was trapped in a nightmare that I couldn't escape from.

Somehow, in some form, I was going to have to pick my feet up and learn how to live as a single parent to three, young children. Gone were the days where Jake would pick them up from school if they were sick…I would have to do that. Gone were the days of Jake's homemade lasagna or enchiladas…I was going to have to cook. He was so many things, in so many ways, to all of us, and I couldn't fill every void.

JJ was going to need a father figure to teach him how to be a man. He was only nine and couldn't possibly have learned everything he needed from Jake before he died.

_Before he died. Crap._

That sent me into another hysterical tear-fest, and Rosalie and Alice both comforted me. This time, Emily crawled onto my lap, stuck her thumb in her mouth and leaned against me. Leah sat on Alice's lap and JJ wormed his way in-between Rosalie and me. My dad came and sat on the coffee table, holding one of my hands and one of JJ's. All seven of us sat huddled on the couch, letting our emotions out—just for a moment—and gaining strength from each other.

There was a difficult road ahead of me, and the kids. I had no confidence in myself, or my ability to get them through this. But I couldn't be selfish. And I couldn't walk away from Jake that quickly, even if he had left me. Squaring my shoulders, I walked back into the living room and looked from Rosalie to Alice to my dad.

"Is there anything else I need to do?"

**A/N: So, what do you think about the chapter? I know some of you are anxious about meeting Edward and seeing where he fits in. Some questions will be answered in the next chapter. Please review! You know I love them!**


	3. Chapter 2 - Finding The Past

**A/N: Welcome back! We get to hear from Edward in this chapter…and we also have a time jump. I know that most of you were bumming hard on the first two chapters, but I promise that was just to lay the scene. I will not be walking you all through the funeral or anything like that. Now that the scene has been set, let's move to begin the actual story.**

**I must thank my girls: torisurfergirl and starpower31 for their help and encouragement!**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 2 – Finding the Past

"Pick the day. Enjoy it — to the hilt. The day as it comes. People as they come... The past, I think, has helped me appreciate the present — and I don't want to spoil any of it by fretting about the future."

Audrey Hepburn

One Year Later

Edward

The rain was coming down steadily as I sat in a coffee shop around the corner from my apartment. I stared at it transfixed, willing it to stop for even a moment. Unfortunately, living in Seattle, you have to get used to the rain. Even though I had grown up in Washington, I had never gotten used to the wet climate.

The real reason that I was staring at the rain was because I was waiting for someone. My girlfriend for the past few months, Kate, was on her way over to have 'the talk.' The relationship just wasn't working and we both knew it. She was beautiful and nice, but she just didn't want the same things I did. Hell, I was thirty-one-years-old. I was tired of just dating…I wanted to start a family. Kate was very career driven and was in no way interested in settling down. Unfortunately, that didn't work for my life right now.

I checked my watch again. She was twenty minutes late. Pulling out my phone, I texted her.

**E: Where R U?**

It took a few minutes, but she responded.

**K: Sorry. Can't make it. Talk 2 U later.**

**E: Please come. Need 2 talk now.**

**K: Can't.**

I was seriously starting to get pissed. Kate was usually a very punctual person, and for her to not show up meant she was avoiding me.

**E: Are you blowing me off?**

**K: Ya. We R not working. Don't need 2 talk.**

**E: Ya whatever.**

And just like that, the last few months were done. Frustrated, I ran my hand through my hair and got up from my seat. I walked out into the rain and hurried to my apartment building, trying to avoid the rain as much as possible. My jacket was soaking wet by the time I reached my apartment, so I shook it out and hung it up to dry.

I sat down at my computer and brought up Facebook to change my relationship status back to single. It was a stupid thing, but it helped me to get my relationship status out there. I really wanted to move to the next step of my life, and I couldn't do that while being single.

For the next few minutes, I just browsed around Facebook, bored. A few of my friends commented on my relationship status update, but nothing exciting was happening. I leaned back in my chair, resting my head on the back and stared at the ceiling. I was really at a crossroads. The problem was that I hadn't met anyone that I thought I could spend the rest of my life with, whether they wanted to settle down or not. No one I had found yet was _the_ one.

My phone rang, interrupting my thoughts.

"Hello?"

"Edward, why are you single?"

I sighed. I knew setting my mother up for a Facebook account had been a mistake. Esme Cullen wasn't very tech-savvy, but she had insisted that I get her signed up.

"Hello to you too, Mom. Kate and I broke up today."

"Is this a good thing?"

"Yeah, I think so. She wasn't…we didn't want the same things." I stood up and walked to my bedroom so that I could change for bed.

"Sweetheart, when are you going to find someone who will help me get grandkids?" I sighed at her question. She and my dad had been very clear about wanting me to have children. I was an only child which explained her need for me to get married and produce a litter of children for her play with.

"Mom, I'm trying. I haven't met her yet."

"Meet her soon, Edward. I'm not getting any younger here."

"Neither am I."

She continued to lecture me about finding a woman and settling down. This was an all-too-familiar conversation; she chose to call me at least twice a month to give it to me. My dad, Carlisle, was a little more pragmatic about the situation. He understood that I was looking but hadn't found anyone yet. _Odd that my father would understand better than my mother._

"Edward, are you listening to me?" my mother said, sounding frustrated.

"I'm sorry, Mom, I was just thinking. What did you say?"

"I said that I ran into Charlie Swan at the grocery store in Forks yesterday."

My heart started to beat faster, and I swear I started to sweat. Charlie was the sheriff in Forks, and because my parents still lived there, it was inevitable that they would run into each other. But, for some reason, I took it to be a sign. I had wanted to reach out to Bella for years, but felt uncomfortable doing so because I knew she was married. I needed to just bite the bullet, reach out to her and tell her I just wanted to be friends. _God, I miss her…_

"Oh?" I tried to make my voice sound like I didn't care, but I knew that my mother could see right through me.

"Yes, Edward, and of course I asked how Bella was doing." She took a breath before she continued. "Bella lost her husband a year ago in a car accident."

"What? How are you just finding this out now? You live in the same damn town!" I knew that I was being irrational, but I was furious that something this huge had happened and I didn't know. Of course, because of her mother, I didn't really know most of the important things that Bella had gone through.

"As you well know, we don't travel in town all that much and I doubt that if your father sees Charlie that he would've asked about her. Anyway, she is living in Reno, raising her three children on her own."

"That's terrible," I mutter, still wrapping my brain around this new development. "Did Charlie say if she was doing OK or not?"

"Actually, he gave me her phone number so that you could call her."

"What? I thought he hated me? What about Renee?"

"Renee passed away a few years ago. Cancer, I think." Esme sighed. "Do you want her number?"

"Yes!" I shouted into the phone, and then immediately apologized. After she gave me Bella's phone number and her married name, I got off the phone and sat there holding my cell for a while. _What do I say?_

After changing into my sweats, I laid down in bed and stared at the ceiling. _Bella is single._ That's all I could think. But, I couldn't just call her up and ask her out. She didn't even live in the same city. Suddenly, I found myself thinking about the first time that I had met her…

_Approximately thirteen years ago_

_I started my senior year wanting nothing more than to make the varsity football team. I had dreamed of becoming quarterback for years—since my dad had taught me about football when I was eight. Forks was a small town, so I hoped that the pool of guys wanting that position would be very small. Tryouts weren't until after school, so I had to spend the whole day waiting._

_By the time lunch came, I was hearing whispers about a new girl in school who was the daughter of the police chief. I hadn't seen her yet, but the guys in school were all talking about her. My friends were telling me how beautiful she was, but I didn't see her until I walked into the cafeteria. When I walked in, I saw this girl with long, brown was sitting next to Jessica and Angela. She turned to face me, and I immediately got lost in her chocolate-colored brown eyes._

_Like an idiot, I stared at her for a moment. She blushed and turned away breaking me out of my gawking. I made my way to the corner table where my friends sat, but I continued to glance at her. A couple of times during the course of lunch, I could have sworn that she was looking at me, too, but she wasn't being as obvious as I was._

"_Dude, seriously," Mike Newton whispered, poking me in the arm. "Stop staring, you're embarrassing yourself."_

"_Fuck, man, she's gorgeous." I leaned over so that I could whisper back._

"_Yeah, I know. But you need to stop slobbering all over her."_

_By the end of lunch, I was completely infatuated with her, and I had an urge to run my hands through her hair. Shaking it off, I walked to biology class with Mike and tried to forget about the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. I sat down at my lab table and tried to concentrate on getting my things ready for class. Glancing up, I saw that Bella stood in the front of the classroom talking to the teacher. He smiled and pointed to my lab table._

_Bella made her way to my table, not meeting my eyes. She tripped a little before she sat down and I could see that blush creep back into her cheeks. _Damn…that was hot_. She sat down next to me and fanned her hair out so that it created a chocolate-colored shield between the two of us._

"_Hi, I'm Edward Cullen," I whispered to her, placing my hand on her shoulder. What I wasn't prepared for was the electric shock that I got when I touched her. She swiftly turned her head in my direction and I, once again, got lost in her eyes. The smell of strawberries surrounded me as I studied her._

"_Hi, I'm Bella Swan." She met my eyes briefly, before turning her them down again. "It's nice to meet you, Edward."_

_When she said my name I thought I had died and gone to heaven. This girl was the most amazing creature I had ever met. Even her voice turned me on._

I broke myself out of the memory and got up to plug in my cellphone. It was too late to call anyone now, so I would have to wait until tomorrow. Unfortunately, I was too awake to just fall asleep. I walked into the living room and got on my computer again, searching Facebook for Bella now that I knew where she lived. Her mother had made sure that I wouldn't know where they were living, so it was hard to find her. Plus, I was never sure what her married name was, thank God my mother had told me that as well.

After a few minutes of searching, I found her. _Bella Swan Black, living in Reno, Nevada._ It was her…it really was! Quickly, I scanned the pictures that were public and was met with pictures of her and who I assumed was her late husband and some of her children. My breath caught when I saw a picture of her youngest…she was Bella all over. The other two looked much more like their father, with his dark coloring.

I stared at the 'Add Friend' button on her page. For years I had thought about how I would handle this moment, and I was suddenly faced with the moment of truth. Do I send a friend request? I didn't have to worry about her husband being upset that I contacted her, but what if she didn't want to talk to me?

Trying not to overthink, I clicked the 'Add Friend' button and closed the lid on my laptop.

**A/N: So, I'm not sure if I answered more questions than I brought up here, but the whole story will unfold shortly, I promise. **

**Leave me some love! See you all in a week!**


	4. Chapter 3 Unexpected Call

**A/N: Sorry I'm late! It's been a really busy week…but I hope to be back to my Tuesday posting schedule next week.**

**Thank you, once again, to my awesome beta's torisurfergirl and starpower31!**

Chapter 3 – Unexpected Call

"Nearly all the best things that came to me in life have been unexpected, unplanned by me."

Carl Sandburg

Bella

I woke up before my alarm, which was unusual. But I hadn't really slept, so I should say that I got up rather than woke up. Today marked the one year anniversary of Jake's death; I couldn't ignore it. I pulled myself out of bed before 5 AM and turned on my computer. Waiting for it to come to life, I made coffee and Leah's lunch.

After that, I checked my email; there were a few from friends who remembered what today was, wishing me a good day. Then I logged into my Facebook account and had the shock of my life…Edward Cullen had sent me a friend request. I hadn't heard from him since my mother had forced me to move away from Forks during my junior year of high school. The mouse hovered over the accept button; I stared at his picture looking back at me.

Making up my mind, I clicked accept and then navigated to his page. Before I was able to look at anything more than his profile picture, I was interrupted.

"Mommy?" Leah asked, walking into the living room rubbing her eyes. "Can I watch TV?"

I closed my laptop and stood up, walking over to her. "Not yet, you have to shower this morning."

"Do I have to shower with Emmy?"

"No, I'll give her a bath tonight."

"Can I take a bath?"

"No, you don't have time for that. You would spend an hour in there if I let you. Just take a quick shower, OK?"

"But, I don't like showers!" Leah shouted. I was getting used to her outbursts, but I wasn't handling them very well. Jake had a way of making Leah listen and obey our rules without sounding like he was yelling…I hadn't figured out how to do that yet.

"Please, Leah, just go take a shower."

"I don't want to."

"You want to go to school with dirty hair?" I challenged her. She stuck her bottom lip out and pouted at me.

"No. But I don't wanna shower, I want to take a bath!"

"Leah, just shut up and listen to Mom. Jeez," JJ said, joining us in the living room.

"Don't say shut up!" Leah pointed at JJ. "You aren't the boss of me!"

"Leah, go shower now!" I said, finally raising my voice. She looked mad but stomped into the bathroom. "JJ, you shouldn't say shut up, but thank you for trying to help."

"No prob, Mom." JJ had aged quite a bit in the last year. He had reached his double-digits a couple months back and was starting to act much older. It was almost as if he was trying to take away some of the responsibilities that I was drowning in. He helped keep Leah in line, and he played with Emily a lot.

I smiled at my son and walked into the kitchen. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"Can I have an omelet?"

"Sure. Do you want that with mustard?" I asked, smirking at him.

"Yeah, mustard, guacamole and onions please. Oh, don't forget the pickles!" He grinned back at me. This was a game that Jake had started with JJ when he was only four. Ask for something plain but spice it up with imaginary food that JJ secretly hated. When JJ was younger, he thought Jake was serious and had freaked out at the idea of pickles on an omelet. But, once the sarcasm had been recognized, he began to play along.

"OK, one omelet with just cheese coming up. Can you go get Emily up? See if she wants an omelet, too." I started working on his omelet while JJ trotted off down the hall. I heard the shower start finally and breathed a sigh of relief. Perhaps Leah wouldn't cause any more problems today.

By the time the kids were fed and ready for school, I was completely exhausted and I was definitely feeling my lack of sleep. JJ helped me get the girls in the van, and I rushed to get them to school before heading to work.

"Good morning, Bella," Bree, my assistant, greeted me as I rushed into the office. "Did you get coffee yet this morning?"

"Good morning, Bree. No, I've been in a rush this morning."

"Can I get you some?"

"Oh, yes, please. That's a big help, thank you!" I loved Bree; she was the best assistant I'd ever had. I walked into my office and turned on my laptop, making sure that my cell phone was plugged in and on silent.

Bree walked into my office with coffee, setting it down on my desk and then sat down and looked at me. "Bella, can I ask you a personal question?"

"Of course."

"Why did you come in to work today? I'm sure you could have gotten the day off…" Her voice trailed off, and she looked away seemingly uncomfortable.

I resisted the urge to sigh. Bree was just looking out for me, but over the last year, I had gotten too many people trying to tell me how I should grieve. At some point, you get tired of the constant advice and just want to be left alone.

"I appreciate your concern, but if I had stayed home I would've just been moping around my house. I wanted to stay busy today," I said, meeting her eyes.

She smiled at me and stood up. "OK, I just wanted to make sure you were doing what you needed today. Let me know if you need anything else." She turned and started to walk toward the door. "Your calendar is clear until 1PM."

Once my computer had booted up, I logged into my email and got lost in the sea of work. The buzzing of my cell phone on my desk around noon almost startled me. It was a number that I didn't recognize.

"Hello?"

"Um, hi, Bella?"

My cheeks flushed when I realized who was on the phone. "Edward."

"Bella," he sounded relieved. "How are you?"

Smiling, I got up and closed my office door. "I'm good. How are you?" I asked, returning to my desk.

"Good. I heard that my mom spoke with your dad yesterday. That's how I got your number. I hope that's OK…"

_Charlie gave my number to Esme? Why didn't he tell me?_ "Yeah, that's fine. I didn't realize your parents still lived in Forks."

"Yeah, my dad is still the head surgeon at the hospital there," he confirmed. "I know it's been a long time, but I heard about your, um…what happened and I wanted to call and give my condolences."

"Oh," I said, shocked. "Thank you for calling."

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm, um, going to be in Reno this weekend for business. I'd love to see you and catch up."

I hadn't seen Edward since my Junior year of high school, so the idea of seeing him now was extremely appealing. His voice had stirred up so many powerful memories that I found myself falling into them like a warm blanket. He had always been able to make me feel that way —comfortable.

~~ANB~~

_THIRTEEN YEARS EARLIER – FORKS, WA_

_Edward and I met in Biology class and had become fast friends. By the end of my second month in Forks, Edward and I were quite close. There were times when I couldn't stop myself from just staring into his beautiful green eyes. More than a few times he had caught me staring, and, of course, that made me blush like crazy._

_Biology was easy for me. I had recently moved in with my dad, Charlie, from Phoenix and the science classes that I had taken there were more advanced. The projects and subject matter had been covered the year before for me, so this class was an easy A._

_Edward confessed that he wasn't doing so well in the class, so we had spent a lot of time working together to do our homework…and so I could help him. _

_It all came down to one fateful evening when I was finally going to tell him how I felt about him. I was nervous that he was sitting on my bed, and I was sure that the blush on my cheeks was permanent by this point. We had never discussed anything other than being friends, so even though I was totally crushing on him, I didn't know how he felt about me. When he smiled, my stomach flipped and I would blush again. _

~~ANB~~

"Bella? Are you still there?" Edward's voice brought me out of the memory and I smiled.

"Yeah, I'm here. So, when do you get in?" I tried to make my voice sound calm, but really, I was freaking out. Seeing Edward again was almost like a dream.

"I fly in late Friday evening. Would you like to have lunch with me on Saturday?"

"Yeah, actually my dad is coming in on Friday, so he should be able to watch the kids."

"Um, will your dad be OK with you seeing me?"

"Edward," I chided, smiling again. "He was the one who gave my number to your mom."

He chuckled and heat spread over my face again. "That's right. OK, well I'll text you when I get in on Friday. I will be staying at the Atlantis…is that far from you?"

"No, it's pretty close. But, Reno isn't that big, so that doesn't matter too much."

"Great. I guess I'll see you on Saturday?"

"Sounds like a plan. Oh, and, Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"It was really nice hearing your voice again."

"You, too, beautiful."

We ended the call after that, but I could still hear his voice calling me 'beautiful.' It had been his only nickname for me when we were younger, and I found myself as giddy as a school girl thinking about seeing him.

I had to force myself to go back to work, but I couldn't erase the smile from my face.

**A/N: Tell me what you think!**


	5. Chapter 4 - Young Love

**A/N: Hello friends! We have a little jump back in this chapter. It should help start to explain Bella and Edward's relationship when they were in high school. You'll get way more in the next chapter (I promise), but this is a good start.**

**Thank you to my awesome betas!**

Chapter 4 – Young Love

"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up."

James A. Baldwin

_**Thirteen Years Ago**_

Bella

It had been five months since I had moved to Forks, and Edward and I were quickly becoming joined at the hip. We had spent most of our Christmas vacation together, and I was definitely enjoying it. My mother, however, didn't like Edward for some reason. All she knew about him was what my father had told her, since she was so far away in Phoenix…but she seemed determined to hate him from the beginning. She had started calling me every day, and if I wasn't home I would have to answer to her when I got back. She made sure that Charlie forced me to call her when I got home. By the end of the vacation, I had started lying to her about whenever I went out to meet Edward. Charlie didn't care as much, but I took to lying to him as well so he wouldn't have to cover for me with Renee. My friend, Angela, was my most common excuse.

"Bella, are you ever going to tell her?" Angela asked me one evening when we were chatting on the phone. "I mean, what if she finds out on her own? Won't she be mad?"

Sighing, I started stirring the pasta that I was making for dinner. My dad wasn't home from work yet, so I was free to moan and groan about my problem. "Yeah, she'd be pissed, actually. She keeps telling me that Edward isn't good for me, or he's too old, or something…she just keeps making things up. I can't tell her, Ang, I just can't. I just have to be careful."

"I hope you know what you are doing…and I hope he's worth it."

"Ang, I think I'm in love with him." I sat down at the table, bracing myself for her response.

"Bella…"Angela paused and took a deep breath before continuing, "when are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know yet."

We talked for a few more minutes before hanging up, but her words kept echoing in my head while I finished getting dinner ready.

~~~ANB~~~

A few days later, when school had started back up, I had lots of homework to complete each night. I found myself wishing that I didn't have to lie about spending time with Edward, so he could come over and we could study together. Unfortunately, for now at least, this was the only way that I could play this entire situation.

Charlie walked in just as I was finishing the salad to go with the lasagna for dinner. He smiled at me, saying nothing, and sat down at the table to eat. Living with Charlie was easy; he didn't talk a whole lot and he didn't interfere with my life. It was almost like living alone. After being under Renee's intense scrutiny, his casual way of parenting was a breath of fresh air.

"Bells," Charlie said, talking with a mouth full of food. "I'll be going fishing this weekend with Harry. You going to be OK if I leave you home alone?"

"Dad, I'll be fine. I'm seventeen, and I can definitely take care of myself." Rolling my eyes, I went back to my food.

"All right, then," he said, ending the conversation.

Immediately, my heart started racing. If Charlie was going to be gone all weekend, Edward could come over! I couldn't believe my luck, it finally seemed to be working in my favor! But now I had to wait two more days until the weekend…

Edward and I hadn't actually sat down and discussed our relationship, if you could even call it that. As far as things were going now, we were still stuck on the skirting-around-our-feelings/friendship stage. We talked all the time, hung out together at school and couldn't keep our eyes off of each other most of the time, but we weren't officially dating or anything. I knew there was a connection of sorts, because whenever we touched, I could a feel a spark of familiarity, a touch that made my body sizzle.

The next day at school, I made my way over to Edward who was sitting on a bench in front of the school. His beautifully tousled hair shone in the unassuming light that existed only in Forks—mild sunlight coming through the clouds. He smiled at me as I walked up to him and sat down on the bench.

"Hello," I said, mentally cursing myself for sounding so stiff and formal.

"Hey," he responded.

"How was your evening?"

"Eh, it was ok," he said, shrugging. "Pretty boring, actually. Yours?"

"Same." I took a deep breath. "What are you doing on Friday?"

"Nothing, why?"

"My dad is going out of town and I thought that would be a good time for you to come over and help me get started on my biology project."

His eyes twinkled at me. "Sure, I'd love to."

Now, my biggest problem would be that I would have to get through today and tomorrow before I could make my move on him. I smiled at him as he stood up, and we walked toward the school together.

An unexpected feeling of guilt spread through me as I thought about lying to my parents about seeing Edward. Attempting to shrug it off, I just thought about how much I would enjoy myself. _It's their own fault for not liking Edward, anyway._

By the time Friday came around, I was a nervous wreck. Charlie had said his goodbyes to me that morning before I went to school. I told him to have a good time. He said the same to me, and I swear my entire face turned a deep shade of red.

When I got to school, Edward and I solidified our plans for the evening and he seemed just as excited as I was, like anytime we hung out. Much to my dismay, the day went by very slowly. Each class seemed to last longer than it ever had before, but I'm sure that was just my perspective. Tonight I was going to tell Edward how I felt about him, and I was nervous about it…but at the same time, I was excited to see what his response would be.

Finally, the day ended and Edward and I were driving separately back to my house. My stomach was doing backflips as I led the way up to my bedroom. When I opened the door for him, Edward looked at me with a funny glance, but came in and sat at my desk.

"Um, so, what do you want to do first, Bells?" Edward asked, not meeting my gaze.

I sat down on the bed and thought about my next words…I needed to be eloquent, smooth. "Um, why don't you come sit next to me?"

Edward looked up then and studied me for a moment. Slowly, he put his book down and walked over to sit next to me on the bed. As soon as he sat down, I took his hand in mine and tried to convey every emotion he had elicited out of me over the last few months.

"Edward," I began, taking a deep breath. "You've become a good friend over the last few months. But, I can't be friends with you anymore." Edward's eyebrows scrunched together as he waited for me to continue. "I like you way more than a friend."

He looked shocked for a second, and then a wide grin spread across his face. His eyes twinkled, and he didn't have to say anything, I knew in that moment that I'd always meant more to him. He cupped my cheek and, without saying a word, leaned in and kissed me. I was waiting for him to say something in response to my declaration, but for some reason I wasn't prepared for him to kiss me…nor was I prepared for the intense feeling of his lips on mine. It was like something had exploded all around us, causing my body to tingle.

I slid my arms around him, bringing him closer to me. My shaky hand slipped under his shirt and roamed the vast expanse of his back. As my other hand traveled toward his waist, I gripped his shirt and brought my hands together to pull it off of him. He broke contact with my mouth just long enough to release the shirt, and then his lips came back down full force. His tongue slid across my bottom lip, requesting entrance. I opened my mouth to him and deepened our kiss.

With shaky fingers, Edward lifted up my shirt and threw it across the room. He leaned back a little, out of our kiss, and questioned me with his eyes. Without spoiling the moment by talking, I reached behind me and unhooked my bra, throwing it to join my shirt.

Things started moving fast at this point. Edward had me out of my clothes in a couple minutes flat, and I had accomplished the same with him. As he pressed his cock close to my center, he looked at me, again, asking for permission. Pulling his face down to mine, I pressed our foreheads together and stared into his eyes.

"I love you, Edward."

"Oh, Bella," he whispered, pushing into me slowly. "I love you, too…"

The pain surged through me as he continued to move. I knew it would hurt and thought I had prepared myself for it, but it was worse than I had thought it would be. Eventually, as he kept moving, it got better and better until I couldn't feel any pain…just pleasure.

Edward hitched my leg up and began entering me faster when we heard someone gasp from the doorway.

"Isabella, you have a lot to explain! Get your clothes on now!"

Edward and I immediately stopped and looked up at the outraged face of my mother.

**A/N: So, what do you think? A little history lesson to put things in perspective? See you next week!**


	6. Chapter 5 - Trip

**A/N: Hola! First, I want to give a shout out to the Pregnant Bella and Dad-Ward community on FF! It's nice to see so many reads and comments from you ladies! Thank you so much for joining us :)**

**Now, last chapter was entirely from Bella's POV from high school. While this chapter remains in the "here and now", we do get a little insight into what was going on with Edward.**

**Thank you to my wonderful beta's!**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 5 – Trip

"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."

Kahlil Gibran

Edward

"What the hell do you mean you want the weekend off?" Mr. Johanson, my boss, yelled at me. He was sitting behind his giant desk, chewing on a toothpick. I had just requested a weekend…my first in almost six months, and my boss was not taking the news well.

"I mean, I want a three day weekend, sir," I said, slowly.

"You are trying to get a three day weekend at our busiest time of the year?" he yelled, swiveling in his chair so he was looking me directly in the eye. "You? You haven't taken any vacation time in, what, a year?"

"Six months, sir."

"So, tell me, Edward, why would you want to vacation time now?" He studied me carefully, as if he could gain the knowledge he needed from my forehead.

"I have a friend who just lost her husband…I want to go and spend the weekend with her." I was afraid to look up at him, so I studied my hands instead. When there was no immediate reply, I looked up to see my boss just staring at me.

"I'm not going to lie to you, Edward…you're one of my best employees. You hardly ever miss work, even when you're sick." He paused for a moment, when he continued, he had a huge smile on his face.. "Get all of your files done and properly reassigned should anything happen while you're gone. It's about damn time you took a weekend off."

Whispering my thanks, I fled his office and ran back to mine to start setting up for my weekend. I had told Bella that I was coming into town for work, but that wasn't exactly true. Honestly, the second that I had heard her voice, I knew that I was going to have to see her soon. So, making up the whole reason for coming down this weekend seemed totally worth it.

My thoughts were consumed with Bella the rest of the day. I was distracted getting my work done, and for some reason, I kept checking my phone just to see if she had texted me. It was stupid, but I was disappointed that I hadn't heard from her.

_You only talked to her a couple hours ago…pull your head out of your ass, Cullen!_

As I made my way home, clutching my boarding pass for the next day, my mind raced. Bella and I had always had a connection — it was hard to deny that. I was convinced that if her mother hadn't walked in on us, then I would have married her after high school. Even though I had only been eighteen when I met Bella, I knew she was the one for me. Perhaps that's why I couldn't keep a girlfriend to save my life? I must have compared them all to Bella…

That is also part of why I hadn't looked for her too hard after school. Bella had been seventeen when we met, so I waited—not so patiently—until her birthday that year, in September, knowing that she would be legally allowed to run off with me. I had found her high school in Phoenix and drove there, waiting for her outside. It seemed like such a romantic gesture, but it was futile. When I saw her, hand-in-hand with a boy, I freaked. As far as I knew, she hadn't seen me, so I got back in my car and drove home.

It had only been eight months since she had been forced to leave me, and at the time it seemed like such a short time. But having looked back on this throughout my life, I should have at least made my presence known. I should have told her that I still wanted her. Her mother had threatened to have me arrested for statutory rape, so I was forced to keep my distance until she was of legal age…but I should have gotten some kind of notice to her that I still wanted her…that I needed her.

So, without my Bella, I had decided to join the Army. I spent the next four years training, finishing school and attempting to forget about her. One day, shortly after basic training had ended, my mother dropped the bomb on me…Bella had gotten pregnant by her high school boyfriend and they were getting married.

Jacob Black. He had won the imaginary fight…and the prize was my Bella. It made me uncomfortable to think about him. I had never met the man, but knowing that he had Bella made my skin crawl and my heart hurt. It also hurt knowing just how easily she had forgotten about me. The pain from that realization had made me almost double over.

After my bag was packed, I sat down on my bed, remembering the last time that I had spoken to her. It was a few days after her mother had caught us in bed together—when Bella had shown up at my house in the middle of the night.

~~ANB~~

_I woke up to soft tapping on my bedroom window. Glancing at the clock as I got up, I wondered who would be knocking on my window at 3AM. My parents were away for the weekend but were due back sometime the next morning…Maybe they had forgotten their key?_

_I pulled the blinds aside to stare into the beautiful, chocolate eyes of Bella. Quickly, I opened my window and let her crawl in. Her eyes were red and puffy; clearly she had been crying. I knew that her mother had been extremely angry when she'd walked in on us, so I assumed she had been yelled at or something._

"_Edward," she breathed, throwing her arms around me. Shaking slightly, she sank into our embrace, wrapping herself around me tightly._

"_Bella, are you OK?" I asked, leaning back enough so that I could look at her._

_She shook her head, and I steered her over to my bed. We sat down so our legs were touching, and I reached out to take her hand. For a moment, she didn't meet my eyes, but I could see silent tears streaming down her face._

"_I-I just wanted to see you…my mother is m-mad," she whispered, wiping away a tear. "She says that I have to move back to Phoenix with her."_

_My heart plummeted down into my stomach. "But…what if I talked to her? Tell her that we didn't mean to do that…that it just sort of happened?"_

_Bella silently shook her head, finally looking up to meet my eyes—hers were full of sadness. "She won't listen. Charlie got back from fishing last night and they fought for a long time. She accused him of allowing this to happen…she isn't being reasonable. I don't have any choice. Tomorrow morning I will be packing my stuff and moving back with my mother."_

_Frustrated, I stood up and began pacing. I could feel her anxiety building as the silence continued, so I knelt down in front of her, placing my hands on her legs. "Beautiful," I started, using the nickname that I had only called her in my head. "There must be something we can do. Let me try talking to Charlie…I'm sure he doesn't want to lose you anymore than I do."_

_Bella lifted her hand and placed it on my cheek. "I tried everything. Mom is threatening to file a statutory rape charge against you, because I'm not eighteen yet. Charlie said that was crazy, but she seemed determined." She paused and bit her lip. "I came over to say goodbye."_

_Without saying another word, I pulled her into my arms and made love to her one last time…my high school love…the only person I could ever feel that way about…_

~~ANB~~

"_This is the last call for all passengers flying United flight number 251 from Seatac International Airport to Reno/Tahoe International Airport__."_ I heard the call over the loudspeaker for my flight. I wondered how long I had been thinking of the past.

As I boarded the plane, I began to feel nervous. I had seen pictures of her on Facebook, so I knew that she hadn't changed that much. But, pictures rarely did anyone as much justice as seeing them in person, so I was a little nervous. _What if she doesn't feel about me the way I feel about her?_

_Stupid._ Her husband had been gone for exactly one year, what the hell was I thinking? I couldn't just slide into his spot in one weekend…I needed to be smart about this and give her time to grieve before I made my intentions known. Of course, there was also the possibility that after seeing her again, I would realize that I had romanticized the relationship and I didn't actually feel the way I thought I did for her. Laughing slightly, I settled into my seat and stared out the window at the wing.

The flight from Seattle to Reno went pretty fast, only about two hours. It felt like we had just gotten up to the highest altitude when we headed back down. As soon as the plane landed, I pulled out my cell phone and texted Bella.

**E: Just landed.**

It didn't take very long before she responded.

**B: Awesome! What time are your meetings done?**

I still hadn't told Bella that I had made up my reason for being in Reno this weekend…Truth be told, I was always willing to drop everything for her. So, since I didn't have any logical reason to be in Reno, other than to see Bella, I had to make something up on the spot.

**E: Be done by 4.**

**B: Gr8, dinner?**

**E: Yup, time?**

**B: Dad has kids tonight. Dinner 6? Circus Circus steakhouse?**

**E: Um, OK…I'll find it.**

**B: It's near the carnival area on the second floor.**

**E: Cool, I'll find it. Staying at Silver Legacy. See U then**

**B: See U!**

After that, it was impossible to erase the smile from my face.

**A/N: OK, so we are officially in Reno. Guess you all know what the next chapter will be! I won't push it off, I swear, they will be seeing each other next chapter!**


	7. Chapter 6 - Reno

**A/N: Welcome to the fun chapter! They finally get to see each other after thirteen long years. I know you aren't reading any of this, so move on. But, stay tuned at the end for my notes.**

**Thanks again to my beta's, you girls rock are awesome as always!**

Chapter 6 – Reno

"Honesty does not always bring a response of love, but it is absolutely essential to it."

Ray Blanton

Edward

Time seemed to slow down once I got to Reno. And my stomach was definitely in knots as I walked through the airport. After grabbing my carryon, I walked through the small airport and crossed the street to pick up my rental car. There was quite a line, so it took a while for me to get my car. It was snowing slightly as I started driving away from the airport, and I shivered. Fortunately, I had thought ahead and brought a thick winter jacket. Reno was in the mountains, after all, so I assumed it would be pretty cold.

It was close to 2 PM by the time I made it to my hotel. Check-in time was at three, so I hoped they would be able to get me into my room sooner. The line at check-in was practically non-existent, and I was in my room before I knew it. I looked at the clock—2:32PM. Dammit.

I flipped on the TV and lounged on the bed for a while. I tried reading my book, took a shower, watched some more TV…time still wasn't passing very quickly for me. It felt like an eternity had passed by the time I could leave to meet Bella.

As I walked through the casino to get to the Circus Circus, I had a knot in my stomach that was growing by the second but a skip in my step. Regardless of how this turned out for me, I was going to get to see Bella again. The love of my life…and the only significant relationship I had ever had. Given that I was only eighteen and we didn't technically date, that was pretty sad.

I rounded the corner, and I saw her. Her beautiful, brown hair hadn't changed much. It still fell in loose waves down her back. Her body had filled out; she had the look of a woman who had had children. She was still the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

Without thinking, I had stopped and was staring. Bella turned around and her eyes met mine; she smiled widely and began to walk toward me. The rest of the crowded promenade faded away, and all I could see was her, rushing toward me.

As soon as she got close enough, her arms opened and I stepped into them, whisking her off of her feet in a bear hug. The same tingle of recognition hit me as soon as I touched her, and I bathed in the sweet strawberry sent coming off her hair. For that brief moment, the universe aligned and I saw things clearly. Bella was who I was meant to be with…life had just taken her away from me briefly.

Bella

When I spotted Edward through the crowd outside of the steakhouse, my heart sped up. He looked exactly the way that I remembered, except for a few more laugh lines around his eyes. He looked distinguished and just as beautiful as always. His hair was shorter than it had been in high school, and I found myself a little disappointed by that. The night we'd been together, I had enjoyed running my hands through his hair.

My feet moved toward him without my prompting. I took off running toward the first man I had ever loved. When he picked me up in a giant hug, tears came to my eyes. Oh, I had missed him.

When I had spoken to my father a couple hours ago, my face had been red through the entire conversation.

"_Dad?"_

"_Yeah, Bells?"_

"_Do you remember Edward Cullen from high school?"_

_My dad chuckled, holding Emmy on his lap. "Of course. I gave his mother your phone number, didn't I?"_

"_Oh, yeah, I forgot." I sat down on the couch next to him and took a deep breath. "He's the reason I asked you to watch the kids tonight. He's coming into town this weekend, and we are having dinner tonight."_

_Dad smiled at me, and his brown eyes stared into mine. "Hmm-hmm."_

"_Is that, um, OK with you?"_

_Gently placing his hand on mine, he said, "You are a grown up now, Bells. You don't have to ask my permission to see a man. Your husband has been gone for a year…only you can know when you are ready for another relationship."_

"_Whoa, dad, I'm not talking about getting into a relationship with him. He's just an, um, old friend."_

_He chuckled again, leaning down to kiss Emmy. "Bells, you and I both know he's more than just a friend to you. Just remember that I trust your judgment."_

Edward released me and set me back down. "It's good to see you, beautiful."

For a moment, I was tongue-tied, and then the blush crept into my face and I was immediately flustered. Edward using his old term of endearment for me was amazing…and a little unbelievable. _I wonder if he's just using that word out of habit? Does he really think I'm beautiful after having three children?_

"It's good to see you, too, Edward. It's been a long time."

"Well, before we both starve to death, let's head into the restaurant and eat," Edward said, steering me toward the door with his hand on my back. My stomach continued to flutter as we were seated; he didn't take his hand off me once.

Interestingly, we sat in a comfortable silence while we looked over the menu. Since we hadn't seen each other in so long, I assumed we would talk non-stop, but I guess silence was acceptable, too. I had just decided on what to order when the waiter came around, asking if we wanted any wine. Edward smiled at the boy and ordered some Merlot.

He looked at me questioningly, "You do like Merlot, right?"

"Oh, yes, I definitely do."

"Perfect."

Then we fell back into the silence. It wasn't until our food had arrived that we started chatting and catching up. I discovered that he had completed college with a business degree after he left the Army, and that he had never married. For some reason, thinking about him being single all this time made me strangely happy…which of course, then made me feel guilty. Edward was a wonderful guy and should have married someone long ago.

Rather than ask why he hadn't married, I decided to stay on safer ground. "So, Edward, what was your meeting about today? Must have been pretty important for you to have to fly in for."

Edward flushed a little and turned his attention to his food. It looked like he was embarrassed, but I didn't understand why. "Oh, um, well, it was just a m-meeting with a potential client. Nothing too massively important…" His voice carried off and he shifted a little in his seat.

"Edward?"

His green eyes met mine, and I studied him. "Hmm?" he asked.

"What it is?"

He shifted again, took a quick sip of his wine, and then looked at me. "The truth is I didn't really have a meeting in Reno today."

My heart started to beat a little faster. "Oh?"

Without meeting my eyes, he continued, "I really wanted to see you…you know, check on you. I wasn't sure how you would react to me booking a flight and coming all this way for no good reason, so I lied." The waiter came up just then and refilled our wine glasses. As soon as he left, Edward's eyes finally met mine. "I'm sorry that I lied."

"No good reason, hmm?" I said, pushing my food around on my plate.

"Well, I guess seeing you was my 'good reason,'" he whispered, looking down again.

"Edward?" He looked up at me. "You really flew all this way just to see me?"

"Yeah."

I reached across the table and placed my hand on his. "That was really sweet of you."

I squeezed his hand slightly and then shifted away. We ate in silence again for a while, not knowing quite what to say. Soon, he started asking about my kids, and I found that was an easy subject to discuss. I told him all about them, and we laughed as I told stories of how silly they could be.

"What was Jacob like?" Edward asked suddenly.

"He was a wonderful father…and a good man," I responded automatically. "He loved his children so much."

"Was he good to you, beautiful?"

"W-w-what?" I stammered. How could he bring up something like that now? What was he trying to do?

"You said he was a wonderful father and a good man, but you didn't say anything about what kind of a husband he was." Edward continued eating as if the statement he had just said was about the weather.

"That is none of your business, Edward." My cheeks were definitely red now, but not from embarrassment.

"Bella," he started, setting his fork down. "I just wanted to know if you were happy. What happened between us wasn't too long before you met Jacob, so I guess I was just curious. I'm sorry I asked."

_What the hell did he think? That as soon as my mother took me back to Phoenix I just jumped in bed with the first guy I met? Didn't he think that I had grieved over him? That I didn't feel like I had had any choice?_

"Just ask, Edward. Ask me what you really want to know." I leaned over the table, narrowing my eyes at him. "We both know what you are skirting around."

Edward followed my posture, leaning over the table. "Why didn't you wait for me? Why didn't you _fight_ for me?"

Tears filled my eyes. Even though I knew what he was going to ask, when he actually verbalized the question my heart began to ache. Leaning back in my seat, I carefully wiped away the tear trying to avoid smearing my makeup. When I did finally look up, the pain in his eyes almost killed me.

"You have no idea," I whispered. "I was seventeen-years-old…and I was several states away. I didn't know how to stand up to her—how to fight her. I admit that I could have tried harder, but at that time, in that moment, I didn't know how." I sniffled and then continued, "She was my mother, and she had laid down the law. You were unattainable as far as I was concerned.

"She didn't let me use the phone…she took away my driver's license and my truck as soon as we got back to Phoenix to finish my junior year. I was stuck and had no way of getting to you."

Edward's eyes turned fierce. "I would have come for you. We could have run away together."

"You were eighteen, and I was a minor. My mother would have filed kidnapping charges, I'm sure of it. I had to keep you safe from that…I knew you wanted to join the Army, and that you couldn't have anything like that on your record. I couldn't let you get arrested because we were both being stupid."

"We weren't being stupid, beautiful," he whispered, bringing his hand to mine. "We were in love."

"There's a fine line between the two." I smiled weakly at him. "Yes, I loved you. And, yes, I wanted to be with you. But at the time I didn't see any way for that to work. I started dating Jake my senior year of high school…I hadn't heard from you, and my dad said that you had gone away to college or something. I figured that you had moved on, so I needed to also."

The waiter came to deliver the check, which Edward took before I was able to. As we were walking out of the restaurant, Edward grabbed my hand and held it tight. He spun me to face him and, with his face mere inches away from mine, he whispered, "Come up to my room with me."

And there were the butterflies in my stomach again…

**A/N: So, I realized that I may not have made this part clear, but Bella was a junior in high school when she met Edward, who was a senior. His birthday is in June, and after his senior year he turned 19. Bella was still 17 and didn't turn 18 until September of that same year. I hope that helps clear up some of the confusion!**

**More of Reno in the next chapter. I hope you all enjoyed the start of their reunion! **


	8. Chapter 7 - Reno, Part 2

**A/N: Well, here we are with part two of the couple reuniting. Hope you enjoy!**

**As always, please remember you can follow me on twitter at numtwelve for the latest story updates.**

**Thanks again to my wonderful betas!**

Chapter 7 – Reno, Part 2

"No excuses and no sob stories. Life is full of excuses if you're looking. I have no time to gripe over misfortune. I don't waste time looking back."

Junior Seau

Bella

_Too fast…this is too fast. Seriously, I might have a heart attack. Too fast…_My brain was overactive while I walked beside Edward to his room. All I could think about was someone I knew seeing me go into a hotel room, about my children finding out what I was doing, my father being disappointed in me—which of course was crazy; my kids were too young to understand and my father already told me that he trusted me. I definitely needed to calm down.

We got into the elevator, and Edward pressed the button for his floor without letting go of my hand. Neither one of us had spoken a word since he'd invited me to his room. I wanted to tell him that I wasn't ready—that I couldn't do anything with him. The words were literally on the tip of my tongue, but I felt like my mouth was swollen and I was incapable of speaking suddenly.

Jake had been dead for one year. One year! After being married to him for ten years, was one year enough time to move on? Was it appropriate for me to jump right back into bed with Edward?

"We're here, beautiful," Edward whispered, opening the door to his suite. I hadn't even noticed that we were out of the elevator. My blood pressure increased as I walked through the door.

He let me in and closed the door behind us. The room was small but big enough for just one person. The bed took up the majority of the room, and I assumed it was a king size. I made my way over to it and sat down, then promptly jumped up like the bed had burned me. Instead, I decided to sit down on the small couch against the window. I turned my eyes to Edward who hadn't moved far from the door. He slowly walked toward me and sat down on the bed.

"I'm glad you came," he whispered, leaning forward placing his elbows on his knees.

My cheeks felt hot and my heart started beating erratically.

Edward

I slowly closed the door behind Bella. My stupid actions had scared the hell out of her, apparently, because she had run out of my room just a moment ago. I felt so stupid…her husband had only been gone for one year, and I had pushed her too far, too fast.

In my haste to reconnect with her, I had gone too far—I had attempted to kiss her. That had been my second mistake tonight. The first, of course, being when I invited her to my room.

My phone chirped with a new text, and I ran over to check it.

**B: I'm sorry…**

**E: Where are you?**

**B: Outside your door**

Running to the door, I flung it opened to see Bella on the other side with tears streaking down her face. Without thinking, I opened my arms to her and she stepped into them with no hesitation. As I backed up, I felt her cling to me. We made it to the bed, and I slowly sat down keeping my arms around her.

"I'm s-sorry, th-this is just too fast for me. I shouldn't be here…" she whispered into my neck.

"Beautiful, listen to me." I leaned back and looked into her tear-filled eyes. "I've never lied to you, have I?"

She shook her head.

"And I won't start now. I don't want to scare you, but I will always tell you the truth no matter what." I took a deep breath and placed my hand on her cheek. "I love you, beautiful. I always have…I know that this is too soon for you, and I would never push you to do anything that you are not ready for."

"Edward, I've loved you since the first time I saw you when I was sixteen. I'll never stop…I just don't think I'm ready to start anything with you yet…"

"I'm not asking for much. I just want another chance with you."

Bella stood up and began pacing. "It's not that I'm opposed to starting up our relationship again…but it's just bad timing, Edward. Jake's been gone for a year. I can't expect my children to accept someone else in their life, and I won't put them through anything like that right now." She came and stood next to me. "You and I have always had a connection. One that I could never deny. But, I'm not seventeen anymore. I have to think of my children…before myself. Please understand."

Her eyes bored into mine, and I raised my arms, circling her waist and bringing her closer to me. "I've waited thirteen years for you, beautiful. I'll wait forever if I have to."

She sank down onto the bed next to me. Her hands came up and captured my face. "Give me one year. We can stay in constant communication. We can email, text, and talk on the phone. Let's spend time together, without being in person, for just one year and get to know each other again. By this time next year, we can reevaluate. I can make sure that my children are ready for you."

Leaning in, I kissed her softly on her nose. I ignored the tingling sensation from touching her and said, "I'll admit that it's not perfect, but it will work. I can wait one more year for you."

Her smile made me happier than I had been in years. Just when I thought I couldn't be more content, Bella leaned in and kissed me. Fire exploded around us as we shifted closer to each other. Her lips were soft and the kiss made me instantly hard.

Before I was ready, she pulled away, breathing heavily. "Okay, we can't do that anymore. Shit."

Chuckling, I tightened my grip on her. "I think we should do more of that."

She giggled as she tucked her hair behind her ear. "Maybe we should just talk for a while?"

I stood up and walked over to the couch. Sitting down, I said, "Sure. What do you want to talk about?"

Bella followed me to the couch, sitting down a careful distance away from me. She tucked her legs underneath her and shifted to face me. "About what you asked earlier…you know, about Jake?"

That piqued my interest. "Oh?"

"Jake wasn't a bad husband—not really. He was a kind man. He made me feel content…" Her voice trailed off and she shifted nervously in her seat.

"But?"

"It's hard to explain. It's almost as if I could always sense something wasn't quite right…like we had made the wrong choice in getting married. But, we had JJ so young and really hadn't been together that long before we got married, so I guess I always just assumed that was why I felt that way. Lately, though, since he's been gone, I've been thinking more and more. I miss him…but as a father to the kids, not as a husband. I miss him as a friend, but I don't long for him. Does that make sense?" Her beautiful eyes captivated me as she was talking, but now they turned questioning.

"Like two people who were never meant to be married, but had to because of a pregnancy?" I ventured, assuming she would correct me if I was wrong. Her silence spoke volumes about this topic and made me wonder just how life had been for her during the ten years they were together. "So, in your estimation, tell me how you would expect a marriage to differ from the one you were in."

"Sex," was her prompt reply. Admittedly, that was not what I was expecting her to say.

"I'm sorry?"

"Jake and I only had sex a few times over the years. Obviously, at least three times, but it wasn't much more after that. He had been sleeping on the couch for the last two years of our marriage. He started doing that right after I got pregnant with Emily." Bella looked down and wouldn't meet my eyes.

To say I was shocked by this would have been a vast understatement. And, unfortunately, the filter from my brain to my mouth was not functioning because of this shock, so I said the first thing that came to my mind. "Who the fuck has a wife that looks like you and doesn't want to have sex with her?"

She smiled, shyly, and thanked me. I leaned in and kissed her again, just needing to feel her. I made sure that the kiss was short, so that I didn't scare her again.

"So, how's this going to work then? I get on the plane on Sunday, and we just talk digitally for the next year?" I asked, leaning back in the couch.

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Is that cool?"

"Yeah, it's cool, beautiful."

While this was definitely not the best way I imagined the trip to Reno going—which, in hindsight, it was completely stupid of me to want her to jump back into bed with me—I was happy with the result. Bella wanted me, and wanted me a part of her family. We just needed to work on it…wait until her kids were ready. And wait until Bella was ready, also.

The next year was going to be _long._

**A/N: So, what did you think of their convo? Does that make sense to everyone? Bella has to be able to move past the marriage before she can fully be with Edward. I know that some of you were vocal about hoping things would happen a little faster, but you have to think about this the way that Bella is…her husband has only been gone for one year. She has three children to think about, and she can't just push them into another potential father figure when the death of the real father is so fresh.**

**Hopefully that all makes sense. Thanks for reading!**


	9. Chapter 8 - A Starting Point

**A/N: This chapter is a little bit different, but a nice delve into both characters. Hope you enjoy it!**

**Remember, you can follow me on Twitter .**

**Thanks again to my girls! And to my VB devilsgenie!**

Chapter 8 – A Starting Point

"One of the best feelings in the world is knowing your presence and absence both mean something to someone."

Unknown

**From:** Bella Black bb13  
**Sent:** Monday, December 19, 2011 12:40 AM  
**To:** Edward Cullen  
**Subject:** Good Morning!

Edward,

I know it's super early, but I was having trouble sleeping and wanted to write to you. I really had a great time with you last Friday night…and I hope you enjoyed your weekend in Reno. The food was great, but the company was even better.

No, that's not what I want to say. For some reason, even in email form, you still cause me to be tongue-tied. That was one thing that I noticed when we were having dinner; you make me feel like a teenager sneaking around. I haven't decided if that's a good thing or not. At twenty-nine-years-old, I shouldn't feel like a teenager, but it did excite me a little.

When I got home on Friday, Charlie saw the huge smile on my face, and we ended up talking well into the night. He has always been more practical about life than my mother ever was…in fact, did I ever tell you that they got into it about my mother taking me back to Phoenix? He thought she was being unreasonable and said something to the effect of 'she's a teenager, this was bound to happen.' My mom flew off the handle and they yelled at each other late into the night. Well, actually, my mother yelled and he calmly tried to reason with her.

I often remember that night that I snuck into your bedroom in the middle of the night. I wish we had had more time together…but, of course, I wish that none of it had happened at all. Not with us, but with my mother. I still can't believe that she was so concerned about me being home by myself for a whole weekend and flew out to 'watch me.' I was seventeen, not ten, and I could have handled myself. But, because of what she walked in on, she didn't let me be alone until after my eighteenth birthday.

I know that we tried to avoid talking about Jake, but if we are trying to move forward in our relationship, I feel like we should talk about him. My mother was really happy when I started dating him. Honestly, I think if she was living in Forks with us, and she had gotten to know you, she would have loved you, too. As it was, all she knew of you was what my dad and I told her, and that wasn't good enough. Jake was able to come and meet her, and I think that made all the difference.

I told you a lot of what I have wanted to say over the years, but not all of it. I wanted to tell you that I am sorry for not waiting…for not trying to contact you in some way. I was young and stupid—as if that's a proper reason, but it's true. Like a dummy, and a romantic idiot, I waited for you to contact me. Every day when I got the mail, I hoped there would be a letter from you. But, after nine months of nothing, around the beginning of my senior year in high school, Jake was still asking me out. He had asked me out before, and I had said no because I was still holding onto hope that you would contact me. Anyway, just before my birthday, he asked me out again and I said yes.

I tried hard to put what you and I had behind me. It was difficult, because I thought of you often and could have sworn that I saw you now and then. Eventually, my brain trumped my heart and I decided that I had to move on. I accepted Jake's invitation and started dating him…all the while my heart was still thinking of you.

Over the years with Jake, I have felt consumed with guilt. I married him because I got pregnant with JJ, not because I was in love with him. I started dating him because I was tired of being lonely, not because I was in love with him. I assumed that it would come eventually…that I would feel what I _should_ feel for my husband.

Edward, you were always on my mind. When I got pregnant with JJ, I cried the entire night because I knew that even if you contacted me then, I couldn't be with you. When I got pregnant with Leah, I cried again—which totally freaked Jake out, by the way—because it still hurt that it wasn't your baby inside of me.

Through the last ten years, the whole time I was married to Jake, it was you on my mind, not him. Guilt like that does something to you, I think. I was consumed by it and had convinced myself that Jake's absence the last two years before he died was all my fault. He never would have distanced himself if I hadn't done it first. I was sure of it.

I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm telling you all of this, but I knew that I needed to explain more…explain better, if that makes any sense. I did love Jake, in my own way. He is the father of my children, and he was a kind man. But—and this goes back to the guilt that I've been feeling over the years—he deserved better than me.

As hard as this was for me, I'm sure it was harder on you. Maybe, once this year is over, and we are together, we can compare scars. We can ensure that we are both healed from the past and not carry it through to the rest of our life together.

Just one more thing that needs to be said, before I attempt to sleep— I have always been yours, Edward. Always. Even while married to someone else, my heart always belonged to you. I know that sounds just horrible, but it _is_ true.

Anyway, I guess I'll go…I do have to go to work this morning. Thank you for making up a reason for coming to Reno. Seeing you was the best thing that has happened to me in the last year.

Bella

**From:** Edward Cullen cullensspot

**Sent:** Monday, December 19, 2011 7:03 AM  
**To:** Bella Black bb13  
**Subject:** RE: Good Morning!

Good morning, beautiful.

Seeing an email from you this morning definitely put a smile on my face. This is my personal email address, and it would be better to get mail here instead of my work email.

You covered a lot in your email, and I will try to respond to all of it. Did I ever tell you that I did actually go to Phoenix to see you? It was on your eighteenth birthday. I drove down and parked in front of your school. I saw you with who I assume was Jake.

Trust me; I understand what you went through. Thinking about the situation over the years, I have determined that I handled it all wrong. I should have written to you, if for no other reason than to assure you that I still loved you and would come for you on your birthday. It was stupid of me to assume you would just sit and wait for me for nine months.

But, since we are being honest here, I can tell you how hurtful it was to see you with him. He tucked a lock of your hair behind your ear and you blushed. Since I am extremely territorial, I always thought that blush was mine, and it killed me to see that someone else could make you light. I drove straight home, without stopping, and tried to clear my head. I joined the Army the next day, hoping it would help me forget about you.

But, beautiful, I could never forget you.

My mother watched me deteriorate after you left. I stopped being an A student and stopped hanging out with my friends. She finally got the full story out of me and she decided to go talk to your dad. She never told me what their conversation consisted of, but she looked dejected when she came home.

Eventually, after I barely graduated, I was able to go back to a semi-normal life. But, you were never far from my mind. I hung out with my friends in Seattle, looked into colleges and tried to plan the perfect reunion for us.

Even though seeing you with Jake hurt, I was happy that you weren't alone. No matter how much I wanted it to be me; I just wanted you to be happy. My mom told me that you had gotten pregnant and had to get married right out of high school. That was a whole different kind of pain. I won't tell you everything I did that weekend after I found out, but alcohol was definitely involved.

That was the exact moment that I realized I needed to move on…move past our high school relationship and deal with the real world. You weren't coming to me, and I couldn't go to you anymore. It was officially over at that point.

I understand what you mean about guilt. Every relationship I have been in since we ended was awful. Every time I would kiss them I would think about you. I know that sounds just horrible, but it is the absolute truth. I honestly think that's why I never got married. I couldn't be with someone who didn't have my full heart. And with you owning all of it, there wasn't anything left to give to anyone else.

Over the years, my parents tried to help me move on. My dad came to visit me several times. He would take me to a bar and try to get me interested in the women that were there. It never worked.

The last relationship I had was with a woman named Kate. She and I dated for almost a year, and it was the longest relationship I had had. But, I think that I only stayed with her because I knew she wasn't interested in getting married and having children. I unconsciously sought out women who I knew didn't want to be together for a long time, just so I wouldn't have to deal with that type of relationship.

I have to go and get ready for work now, but I will write more later.

One more thing, though, just so we are clear—I don't want any miscommunications. It's always been you. From the first day I saw you in the cafeteria at school, it was you. No one could ever fit into my heart because you owned it from day one.

I look forward to getting to know you again.

All my love,

Edward

**A/N: So, what did you think?**


	10. Chapter 9 - Overthinking

**A/N: Hello! This chapter is going to be just a little different, but those of you who have kids will definitely understand some of what Bella is going through.**

**I have to say, because this helps you all understand why I lock myself in my room to write, Leah's character in this story…well, I have one exactly like her. After this chapter I think you'll understand…**

**Thanks again to my fantabulous betas, torisurfergirl and starpower31!**

**More at the bottom…**

Chapter 9 – Overthinking

"We are dying from overthinking. We are slowly killing ourselves by thinking about everything. Think. Think. Think. You can never trust the human mind anyway. It's a death trap."

Anthony Hopkins

Bella

"Mom! JJ is doing it again!" I heard Leah shout from the living room.

Sighing, I left breakfast sitting on the counter and walked into the living room. "He's poking me again!"

"JJ, please don't upset your sister. Just leave her alone," I said, sighing again. "Honestly, when are you two going to start being nice to each other? Is it necessary to fight all the time?"

"JJ started it!" Leah shouted, throwing her stuffed bunny at him. JJ picked it up and threw it back at her, accidentally hitting the lamp that stood next to the couch. I watched, unable to move, as it fell to the floor and crashed.

"Mom, I'm sorry!" JJ started apologizing. "I didn't mean to break it!"

"Ha-ha, you are in trouble now!" Leah folded her arms across her chest and stuck her tongue out at JJ. Emily, who had been sitting on the floor watching TV, and pointedly ignoring her siblings, laughed.

"Okay, first of all, both of you are in trouble. Leah, you know better than to throw things in the house! And, JJ, regardless of what Leah does, that doesn't mean you should throw things back at her. Both of you, go finish getting ready for school while I pick this up."

"But, mom…" Leah began, pouting.

"Just do it, Leah!" I shouted, walking into the kitchen to get the broom and dustpan. When I got back into the living room, JJ and Leah were both gone. Emily was sitting quietly still and watching TV. I sighed and thanked the universe that I had one calm child. She was only three-years-old now and had apparently skipped the terrible twos. She ate her food without complaint and obeyed me better than the older two did.

Once I was done cleaning up the broken lamp and had written myself a note to stop at Wal-Mart later to buy a new one, I walked back into the kitchen to finish breakfast. I dished up the three plates and called the children to come and eat.

Leah and JJ came walking into the kitchen with sour looks on their faces while Emily bounced in and smiled at me. All three sat down and started eating their food and I sank back into the kitchen counter, continuing to drink my coffee. Before too long, they were done and it was time to get them all to school.

JJ was in fifth grade this year, his last year of elementary school, and he was excelling so far. Other than being slightly antisocial, his teachers didn't have anything bad to say about him. He was getting good grades, making incredible progress with the violin and loved to read just as much as I did.

Leah, on the other hand, was more trouble. Almost daily she came home with a note from her first grade teacher explaining about her attitude problems at school. Her grades were excellent, but the behavior left much to be desired.

Emily was in preschool and was moving at a slower pace. Her teachers worried that she wouldn't be ready for kindergarten and that I may have to keep her in preschool for an extra year. She wasn't due to start for another year and a half, but she still acted more like a baby than a toddler. She wasn't stupid by any means, but she was just slower at learning things. She had been like that before Jake's death, so I figured it didn't have anything to do with that.

Each child posed a different problem, and I found myself worried that I wasn't doing a good job as a single mother. JJ couldn't make friends, Leah's behavior was causing problems in school, and Emily was behind scholastically. _What was I doing wrong?_

As I drove to work after dropping the kids off, I started thinking about Edward. He and I had been in constant contact since his visit last December; lots of emails, texts and phone calls had been exchanged over the last three months. He was just as wonderful as I remembered; getting to know him again was a true joy.

But, after this morning's problems with the kids, I found myself wondering what kind of parent he would be…assuming, of course, that we did get back together. Then, of course, there was the problem of living in different cities. I hated to uproot the kids again, since we hadn't lived in Reno for that long. But could I ask Edward to move away from his life, his friends and family just to be with me?

It was the end of March already, and he and I hadn't discussed any of this yet. Maybe it was too soon, and maybe I was worried about something stupid, but it was still on my mind. I mentally tried to calm myself down and just think about the present. No use in worrying about something that wouldn't be an issue for another nine months.

Work had been rather boring, and I was staring at my computer screen contemplating lunch, when my cell phone rang. Seeing Edward's face on my caller ID made my heart skip a beat.

"Good morning, Edward," I said, calmly, into the phone.

"Morning, beautiful. How are you today?" he asked with a gentle ease to his voice.

"Ugh, it's been some morning already." I quickly explained the fight between Leah and JJ. To my surprise, I could hear him chuckle.

"Siblings do that, I'm told. How old are they again?"

"JJ is almost eleven…his birthday is next month. Leah just turned seven, and Emily is three and a half."

"Just wait, beautiful. I hear that the teenage years are the worst."

I groaned. "Don't remind me. That's closer than I'd like to believe at this point."

He laughed again. "Other than the kids driving you crazy, what else is going on?"

Without hesitation, I dove into the school problems each child was having. Even though Edward didn't have any kids, he was surprisingly full of advice for me. He listened carefully to each issue and had what sounded like a textbook answer to all of them.

"Jake has been gone a little over a year now. Did you ever think about counseling for them? At least the older two?" Edward asked.

Surprise shook through me. Once, right after he died, I had thought about counseling for JJ, at least, if not Leah. But, I never did anything after that. "Yes, once, but I guess I sort of forgot about it. Do you think I should look into it?"

"It might help. You said Jake was a stay-at-home dad, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then, he spent a lot of time with them. There have been a lot of changes in their lives in the last year, that has to take its toll on someone so young. It's difficult for adults, too."

Sighing, I played with the phone cord on my desk. "You might be right. Dammit…I thought I was doing so well, but what a horrible person I am for not putting them in therapy a year ago."

"No, beautiful, you aren't a horrible person. You have been dealing with the loss as well, and it's not your fault you didn't think about it."

"But, I did! I thought about it at Jake's funeral, but then I forgot about it afterwards."

"That doesn't make you a bad mother. It makes you human, and that's okay. Do you want me to look into some child therapists in Reno?"

"Would you mind? My days are so crazy, I'm afraid I'll forget again. My friend Rose is a child therapist, but she thinks it wouldn't be healthy for the kids to go see her. She says they need to go to someone who is neutral…she and her husband were close to Jake, as well as the kids."

"I understand. I would be happy to look for you. If I can't find someone, maybe you could ask Rose for a referral?"

My phone beeped, indicating I was getting another call. "Edward, I have to go, I have another call coming in. I'll talk to you later and…thanks for calling."

"Anytime, beautiful. I'll talk to you later."

We hung up, and I switched over to my other call.

"This is a message from Washoe County School District to inform you that your child Leah Black is absent. If their absence is excused, please call your school as soon as possible, otherwise this will be marked down as an unexcused absence…"

The message continued but I wasn't listening. Leah wasn't at school…but I had dropped her and JJ both off after I took Emily to preschool.

_Oh my God!I_

**A/N: Okay, okay, okay…if you have read my previous story, you know that my writing tends to have cliffies. Sorry! Will update next week I promise.**

**As we continue in the next chapter with Leah, I want to start off by saying I did not write a tragedy…I promise. This storyline is based on something that my "Leah" did in real life.**


	11. Chapter 10 - Oh Those Complications NEW

**A/N: IMPORTANT: I want to apologize to everyone for accidentally posting the wrong chapter! I am so sorry for any confusion that this brought on. Below is the CORRECT Chapter 10. Again, I am so sorry! My fault for trying to post the chapter too early in the morning and before my coffee!**

**I heard from a LOT of people about Leah…and I'm sorry to say, we don't have a resolution to that story line in this chapter. But, we get a little closer to it.**

**If you have ever had a child go missing, then you will understand Bella's frame of mind here. My "Leah" wasn't missing for more than an hour, but trust me that's too long!**

**Thanks again to my fabulous girls! 3**

Chapter 10 – Oh Those Complications

"Raising children is an uncertain thing; success is reached only after a life of battle and worry."

Democritus

Bella

"_This is a message from Washoe County School District to inform you that your child Leah Black is absent. If their absence is excused, please call your school as soon as possible, otherwise this will be marked down as an unexcused absence…"_

_The message continued but I wasn't listening. Leah wasn't at school…but I had dropped her and JJ both off after I took Emily to preschool._

Oh my God!

At first, my brain was completely numb. It didn't occur to me that I should call the school right away to make sure that they hadn't just make a mistake. After staring at my computer for a moment or two my brain started to work again. I quickly dialed the school.

"Thank you for calling Hid—" the receptionist started, but I cut her off.

"Yeah, hi, this is Bella Black, and I just got a recorded phone call saying that my daughter, Leah Black, is out today?" I tried to slow my voice down so she could understand me…I didn't succeed very well.

"Let me check. What grade?"

"First. In Mrs. Wilcox's class." I sucked in a deep breath, determined to hold it until she came back to the phone. This was a nightmare.

"Leah Black?"

"Yes."

"Yes, ma'am, it shows that she was marked as absent today. Is she home ill?"

For a moment, I had homicidal thoughts about the woman on the other end of the line. If I was a mother asking if my child was at school, does that sound like an excused absence? I almost crawled through the phone to murder her.

"No, I dropped her off this morning with my son, Jacob Black, Junior. Can you please have someone check to make sure the teacher didn't make a mistake? _Before_ I call the police, please?" I tried to sound patient, but this woman was clearly an idiot.

"Oh…um, yes, sure, ma'am, I'll have someone run down to check her classroom. Can we reach you back on your cellphone?"

"Yes." She repeated my number to me, and I confirmed it before hanging up. My heart was still beating extremely fast, and I was having trouble breathing.

I quickly decided to send a text to Edward. For whatever reason, he was the first person that I thought of to tell.

**B: Just got a call from school saying Leah is absent. But I dropped her off with JJ**

He responded almost immediately.

**E: What?! What's going on? **

**B: IDK…I'm waiting for the school to check to make sure the teacher didn't accidentally mark her off**

**E: Please let me know what's going on once you know.**

**B: I will.**

I sat at my desk just staring at my cell, willing it to ring and have it be the school. Five minutes went by with no word. Edward texted me a few times hoping for an answer as well, but I had nothing to tell him. Another five minutes, and I was beyond anxious…I was almost crawling out of my skin in anticipation.

_They better find her…if she isn't at school, I'll have a heart attack. Yes, a heart attack and then when I find her I'm going to kill her._

Finally, almost fifteen minutes after I got off the phone with them, the school called back.

"Hello, did you find my daughter?" I said, answering the phone.

"Mrs. Black?"

"Yes. Did you find my daughter?"

"Mrs. Black, this is Dr. Brown the principal at Hidden Valley Elementary."

"Okay, hi, nice to talk to you again. Did you find my daughter?" Honestly, did he think I gave a crap about who he was? Clearly, I had more important things going on right now.

"Mrs. Black, we checked your daughter's classroom and confirmed that she is absent today. I understand that you told Mary, the receptionist, that you dropped her off this morning?" He spoke slowly and calmly, obviously trying to help me calm down. Unfortunately, all he did was rile me up even more.

"Yes, I dropped her off this morning with my son Jacob Black, Junior. Listen, I know you are trying to help, but I need to call the police now. She's only seven-years-old and needs to be found now."

"Yes, ma'am, I understand. Do you want us to pull Jacob out of class so you can pick him up? Or would you prefer we keep him until school ends for the day?"

"Um, yeah, pull him out. I'll be there shortly."

After that, I hung up on the man. I quickly called the police on my work phone, while texting Edward what was happening. I didn't get a chance to check his response, as I was answering questions from the police. I agreed to meet them at my house, after picking up Emily and JJ from school first. The police officer assured me that everything would be fine, but I couldn't believe them right now.

The only thing going through my mind at the moment was that Leah was missing. If Jake were alive, this never would have happened. She probably ran away because she was mad at me for yelling at her this morning…it was easier to think about her running away than being taken. My heart completely stopped at that thought, so I pushed it out of my head.

Running out of my office, I explained the situation, briefly, to my assistant and then I raced to pick up Emily and JJ. My stress levels were growing as I flew across town and back toward home. I could feel unshed tears burning behind my eyes, and my pulse was too fast for comfort. _If I don't calm myself down, I'm going to have a panic attack and be of no use to anyone._

All too soon—or what felt like forever, who could tell the difference at this point—I was home with JJ and Emily, letting the police officers into my living room. To my surprise, JJ was very calm—although, he didn't speak much. Emily just walked over to the TV and began watching her favorite shows, having no idea what was going on around her.

"Ma'am, we will need a current picture of your daughter," Police Officer number one said. They were both sitting on my couch, drinking my iced tea, and writing everything I said on a small notepad.

I dug through my purse, which only held the younger pictures of her, before I remembered that I had a picture on my cell that I had taken over the weekend. "I have one on my phone, can I email or text it to you?"

"Yes, that's easier anyway. We need to get an Amber Alert out and it's better if we have a digital picture," Police Officer number two advised, standing up and walking a distance away. He began to radio in the Amber Alert instructions alerting that a picture of the 'missing child' was coming, while Police Officer number one gave me his cell number. I texted him the picture, and I assumed that he sent it on to the station.

I sat as quietly as I could while the two men would take turns sitting next to me, asking the same damn questions over and over again, and pacing up and down my hallway. Their constant movement was making my agitation grow while time seemed to completely stand still.

My phone began to vibrate in my pocket; fishing it out, I saw Edward's face on my caller ID. Relief flooded through me as I answered the phone.

"Edward," I breathed, so happy that he had called.

"Any word on Leah?" he asked, sounding like he was in a tunnel.

"Not yet. The police are here and have started an Amber Alert, but I don't have any more information than I did before."

"I'm on my way, beautiful."

"Oh, Edward," I said, sitting up straight. "You don't have to do that! I mean, thank you, truly…but I think they will find her soon."

"It's already been five hours since you told me she was missing, beautiful. I'm already here. I just need to get my car rental, and I'm on my way. I got all the way here and realized that I didn't have your address."

To say I was shocked would have been a huge understatement, for several reasons. One, it had been five hours since I found out she was missing!? Looking over to the table, I saw that JJ was giving Emily a snack, apparently trying to help the situation without bothering me. Two, Edward was actually in Reno. He had dropped everything and had flown here to help me with this issue. I couldn't believe it.

After my momentary shock rolled off my skin, I gave him my address. He told me that he would see me soon and hung up.

The police officers—thing one and thing two, I had started calling them in my head—were still circulating a half an hour later when we heard a knock at the door. Thing one got up and answered the door, greeting Edward and allowing him after a cursory look in my direction.

Before I could even take a breath, Edward was sitting on the floor in front of the couch where I was sitting and had engulfed me in his arms. As his arms tightened around me, I released all of my stress and agitation and leaned into him. Finally, I broke…my tears began falling at a faster rate than I was expecting. He comforted me; speaking in a soothing tone and rubbing his hands across my back.

We only pulled apart when we heard JJ's voice from behind us. "Who the hell are you?"

**A/N: Uh-oh…and Edward meets the children. How do you think this will turn out?**


	12. Chapter 11 - Lost and Found

**A/N: And here we have the conclusion to the Leah debacle. I hope you all enjoy it. Again, this is very similar to what happened with my own child.**

**We also get more of Edward and the children, and I know that you all are curious about that.**

**Thanks to my girls! Torisurfergirl and starpower31 – you both rock!**

Chapter 11 – Lost and Found

"Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives."

Maya Angelou

Edward

_We only pulled apart when we heard JJ's voice from behind us. "Who the hell are you?"_

I released Bella immediately, almost as if she was on fire. Slowly, I turned around to see a boy looking spitefully at me. He looked to be around ten or so—not that I was very good at noticing stuff like that. But, given that he was in Bella's house, I assumed that he was JJ.

"JJ, right?" I extended my hand to his.

He eyed me with reservation. "My name is Edward, and I'm a friend of your mom's. It's nice to meet you."

"JJ, you know better than to use that word. That's a Mommy-Daddy word," Bella chided.

JJ looked apologetically at Bella before turning back to me. He tentatively put his hand out to meet mine, shaking it slowly. "Hi." He glanced up at Bella again before turning around and heading back into the kitchen.

I looked back at Bella, also, and raised my eyebrows. She shrugged and wiped another tear from her face before sitting back down. My heart ached to comfort her more, but I wasn't sure what was appropriate with her children around.

Feeling slightly uncomfortable, I sank into the chair next to the couch and glanced around the house. The house was comfortable, the walls and furniture were decorated with all natural hues. On the wall above the fireplace, there were pictures of Bella's family at various ages. I wanted to get up and inspect them closer, but now didn't seem like the right time. I could see, however, that there were pictures of each child as a baby being held by Bella, with Jacob standing behind her.

The familiar knot of jealousy built up inside me, causing my stomach to hurt. I tried to push the feeling away, but being inside this house, around _his_ things, made it harder.

A tiny version of Bella came running up to me and jumped on my lap. She threw her arms around me. "Hi! I'm Emmy."

"Hi, Emmy. My name is Edward. Nice to meet you," I said, smiling down at her. She was a beautiful little girl. She had her mother's deep, dark brown eyes and her long curly hair.

Emmy smiled up at me and plopped a kiss on my cheek before running over to Bella. Bella smiled sweetly at me.

Silence filled the room, only broken when the police radio would squeak. JJ walked back in the room and sat beside Bella, keeping his eyes cast down to the floor. I felt completely useless; I couldn't say or do anything that was helpful. Quickly racking my brain, I tried to find something that I could do, and finally I figured it out.

"When was the last time you all ate, beaut-Bella?" I asked, quickly stopping myself from calling her "beautiful" in front of her kids.

"Um, breakfast?" she said, in almost a question form.

"Emmy and I ate a snack a little while ago, but that's all since lunch," JJ supplied.

"How about I order a pizza?" I suggested, taking out my cell.

"That would be great. Thank you, Edward," Bella breathed, smiling again.

"No problem. Hey, kiddo," I said, looking at JJ. "What kind of pizza do you like?"

"Pepperoni and olive," he said without looking at me.

"What about you, sweetheart?" I asked Emmy.

"Cheese!" she shouted.

"And you?" I turned my eyes to Bella. She shrugged, telling me that she would eat whatever we all had. Quickly, I located the closest pizza place to Bella's house and ordered using the app on my phone. Once it was ordered and on its way, I felt like I had done something to help, and therefore felt marginally productive.

The pizza arrived in record time, and we were just sitting down at the table to eat when the police officers finally started moving. Both were immediately on their cell phones and walked out of the house and into the driveway. Bella and I exchanged a look of concern. She followed them outside, and I continued to serve the food to JJ and Emmy.

Once they had their food, I followed Bella outside. She was crying harder, and my insides twisted in fear, wondering what she had just found out. She looked up at me and threw her arms around me.

"They found her," Bella said, sobbing into my chest.

"Is she, um, okay?" I asked, holding my breath for her answer.

"She's just fine."

"Thank goodness." I held her tighter, waiting for the police officers to do something. They were both just standing in the driveway looking out at the street.

After a few minutes, a police car pulled into Bella's driveway. A little girl, who looked like a miniature JJ, bounded out of the car and up to Bella. She paused for a moment, looking at me, but decided to ignore me and ran into Bella's arms.

"What were you thinking?" Bella asked, amid tears streaming down her face. "You scared me, Leah!"

"I'm sorry, Mommy. I was mad and didn't want to go to school. I thought that I could go hang out at the store like the older kids do, but I didn't have any money to eat…" Leah continued to tell her story of asking the teenagers—who were also skipping school, apparently—for money to buy something to eat. Fortunately, by the time school was out, there were more responsible teens there who called the police after finding Leah alone.

Bella thanked the police officers for their help and they left, informing her that they would be back in a few days to follow up. I was concerned that they were going to call Social Services, since it was technically a case of a seven-year-old runaway, but they didn't indicate anything like that. They simply drove away.

Bella and I made our way back inside. I gave Leah a slice of the cheese pizza, because that seemed safe given that I didn't know her preference, and then sat down at the head of the table next to Emmy. JJ glared at me for a moment.

"That's my Dad's seat. You can't sit there," he said, shooting daggers at me.

"JJ! That's enough!" Bella said, sitting down on the other side of me.

"No, Bella, it's fine. I can move. Maybe Emmy would like to switch places with me?" I asked, smiling at her. She eagerly nodded her head and stood up. We switched places, and I snuck a glance at JJ. He was staring at his food, not touching it.

"JJ, is there something wrong with your pizza?" Bella asked him.

"No."

"Then why aren't you eating?"

"I'm not hungry."

Bella sighed and moved to stand up, grabbing Leah's hand, and headed into the living room. I could hear her talking to Leah about staying at school and not running away, but my attention was focused on JJ. As selfish as this sounded, I needed for him to like me. If I had any hope of being with Bella in the future, I felt like it all started with him.

"JJ, I can get you something else if you want," I offered.

"No."

"Do you want to talk to me about why you're upset? I know we don't know each other very well, but I'd like to get to know you."

"Who did you say you were again?" His accusatory eyes met mine.

"I'm just a friend of your mother's."

"Oh, um, a 'friend?'" he asked, doing the air quotes with his fingers. "And what does that mean, exactly?"

"Um, well, we went to high school together and recently just got back in contact." This kid was good…it was like he could read every dirty thought I'd had about Bella…his eyes were penetrating. It made me wonder if he got that from Jacob…

"Is that right?" he asked, with a snotty tone in his voice. "You just happened to get back in contact with her after my dad dies?"

I was completely taken aback by this question. _Does he think I just laid in wait for his father to die so I could make my move on Bella?_ Without knowing what to say, I paused for a moment to collect my thoughts.

"JJ, I can understand why you feel that way, but it was just a coincidence. Your mom and I were very good friends in high school…we just sort of fell out of touch."

"Uh-huh. Whatever." He went back to staring at his food.

_Well played, JJ. Now I'm scared._ I vowed that when I got home I would look up how to deal with integrating into a family as a step-parent. I knew that I was being a little presumptuous, but my brain just kept going there. I just couldn't picture my future without Bella in it…and now, I couldn't picture it without her kids.

Emmy kept smiling at me as she ate her food. I smiled back and started eating as well. She seemed like such a happy child, like nothing got her down. I would have to ask Bella if she was like that all the time, or if today was a fluke. _At least one of the kids like me._

Leah and Bella came back in, both looking like they were crying a few moments before. Leah sat down and started eating the pizza I got for her. She was almost done before she noticed me. Her dark eyes, again, similar to JJ's, looked almost through me.

"Who are you?" she asked, in a tone that was similar to JJ's earlier.

"He's a friend of mine from Seattle. He flew in because he was worried about you," Bella supplied, taking a small bite of her own.

"Oh."

"My name is Edward," I said, reaching out my hand to her. She took it, carefully, before squeezing it very tightly.

"Leah." She pouted for a minute before smiling big. "I'm the trouble maker in the family. Everyone hates me."

"Leah!" Bella shouted, throwing her pizza down on the plate. "That is not true! Don't you ever say something like that again!"

Leah shrugged her shoulders, looking back down at the table. "What? It's true. I cause all kinds of problems. JJ broke the lamp this morning, but you got mad at me. I ran away for a break, and you got mad at me. Everyone gets mad at me. I might as well not even be here."

"Leah…" Bella said, clearly at a loss for words.

I knew that on some level I was passing boundaries that I shouldn't, but for some reason I was compelled to speak. "Leah, did your mom ever tell you anything about me?" She shook her head no, so I continued, "I was an only child growing up, but I had a best friend that I used to do everything with. He and I would play at school together and do our homework also.

"When we were ten, I started to get jealous of him. He had several siblings and was also a Boy Scout. My parents didn't think that was necessary for me, so I didn't get to go. It was like he had everything in the whole world…at least, that's how it felt at the time. People to play with at home, and people to play with in the evenings when he went to the Boy Scout meetings.

"Anyway, I started to get jealous of him and his life, so I decided I was going to do something on my own. My parents couldn't have more kids, but I could join the Boy Scouts on my own. I thought that if I lived in the forest for a few days, by myself, then the Boy Scouts would accept me whether my parents wanted it or not."

Leah sat quietly while I told my story. Every now and then her eyes would jump to Bella, but she seemed to really be listening to me.

"So, Friday when my parents went out for the evening, I set out on my camping trip. I had borrowed everything I thought I needed. Long story short"—JJ snickered—"I got horribly lost, and then I got cold. I was in the woods overnight with no jacket and only a small blanket. By the time my parents found me, I was almost blue from the cold.

"The reason I'm telling you this story is because my mother said something to me that night that I will never forget. She held me in her arms and told me that I was never allowed to run away again. She said that every mother gives away part of their heart when they have a baby. Whether it's one, or three." I winked at Leah, and she smiled at me. "It's clear to me that your mother loves you."

"Me, too! Me, too!" Emmy shouted, standing up on her chair. "I lob Leah!"

I snuck a glance at Bella and noticed that her eyes were shining with unshed tears. _Thank you,_ she mouthed to me before turning back to Leah.

"Hmm," Leah said. "So, all mothers love their kids?"

"Yes, Leah. All of us," Bella said, reaching her hand out to her middle child. "You do things bad, and wrong, and things that scare the hell out of me—like today!—but I will always love you. No matter what."

Sitting back in my chair, I watched the four of them move from the heavy topic to other things. Bella was wonderful with her kids, and honestly, I couldn't figure out why she would think that she wasn't a good mother. She was attentive, paid attention to their stories, would ask them questions about their day and before she left a room, she would always kiss them and tell them that they were loved.

A couple hours later, Bella and I were sitting on her couch, holding hands. The TV was on, but I wasn't paying attention to it. We had just put the girls to bed, and JJ was in the shower, so we had a little bit of quiet time.

"Thank you for coming, Edward," Bella whispered, leaning into me.

"I will always come when you need me, beautiful," I whispered back, kissing her softly on the lips. Unfortunately, my luck had run out—just at that moment, JJ walked out of the bathroom. His eyes grew wide as they stared at us.

Bella jumped up and ran over to him. "JJ, listen, about what you just saw…"

"It doesn't matter. I knew you would date eventually." His eyes narrowed as they turned to me. "Don't think for a minute that I will ever accept you. You are not my father."

"JJ…" I started, but he turned and ran for his room.

Bella and I stood there watching him go. The sinking feeling was back, and my throat felt thick. It was going to be quite a battle trying to win him over…if it was even possible.

**A/N: Unfortunately, bringing in a stepparent (or even a new boyfriend) can be difficult on children. The issues can vary between the ages, and there is a wide range here with Bella's children. How would you react if you were 10, just lost your father a year ago, and your mother brought someone else home? I don't have a frame of reference, but JJ's reactions (as well as the girl's reactions) are based off a friend of mine. She dealt with a very similar issue when attempting to date after her husband left her. **

**Please let me know what you think!**


	13. Chapter 12 - Decisions

**A/N: Well, Edward met the children and had a less than welcoming experience with JJ. How do you think he'll handle it? We find out the start of how he handles it in this chapter.**

**Stay with me, my friends. There is a point to all of this.**

**Thanks again to my betas!**

Chapter 12 – Decisions

"It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong."

Thomas Sowell

Edward

I boarded my plane with a heavy heart. Without thinking, I had flown to Reno to be there for Bella. Unfortunately, I hadn't taken the children into account. Leah was found safe—which was wonderful—but the whole encounter with JJ had left a bad taste in my mouth. He had been very clear about his feelings…and I doubted that I could do much about it. Maybe it would just take time.

The trip had done nothing to alleviate the fears that I already had about being a stepdad. I knew that Bella hadn't made any promises to marry me, hell, she hadn't even mentioned having a serious relationship yet, but I hoped she would one day. She appeared to feel the same way I did—or at least similar. However, the challenge was her children. I never knew Jake, so I couldn't try and be more like him…and I'm not sure if that was a good idea anyway.

I sat down and leaned my head back against the seat. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and tried to figure out what my next move would be.

"Hey there, handsome," a soft voice said. I opened my eyes and looked into the very blue eyes sitting in the seat next to me.

"Hi."

"I was just wondering what would cause a fine-looking man like yourself to look so sad," she said in a sultry voice. Her strawberry blonde hair fell in soft waves around her face as she leaned closer to me. "I thought this trip was a total bust until I saw you."

Her entire appearance screamed 'sex.' She slowly crossed her legs, her short skirt riding up, revealing even more of her long legs. She was very beautiful and acted like she knew it, too. I was immediately attracted to her.

"Are you in Reno for work or pleasure?" I asked, surprised at how easily the flirting tone came out.

"Pleasure…with a side of work." She grinned at me and leaned a little closer. "You don't come to Nevada for just work. The whole state was created for pleasure."

Grinning, I leaned a little closer to her. "I know just what you mean."

Our conversation throughout the plane ride was very smooth. We ended up having a lot in common: working in the same field, living in the same part of Seattle and both growing up in a small town. I found her to be very smart and funny. She made me laugh so much that by the time we landed my cheeks were hurting.

We exchanged phone numbers before we separated. I told her that I would call her and we could get together shortly.

"By the way, I don't think I asked you. What's your name?" she asked, pulling her luggage off the rack.

"Edward," I said, holding my hand out to her.

"Tonya."

It was a couple hours later before I remembered to call Bella to let her know I had gotten home safely.

~~ANB~~

Bella

In the week that followed Leah's disappearance, and the disastrous conversation with JJ and Edward, life pretty much got back to normal. The kids went back to their daily fights, homework battles and bath vs. shower arguments. My digital communication with Edward had slowed down quite a bit, unfortunately. I wrote him an email every day, texted several times and even tried calling him, but he didn't respond to me as much as he used to.

By Saturday morning, I was convinced that Edward must be devastated by JJ's comment and decided that I needed to call him and discuss the issue. He needed to understand that JJ was young and didn't understand things yet.

Unfortunately, I got his voice mail. I left him a message, asking him to call me back, and then went back to cleaning. My mind was wandering as I vacuumed, and I almost hit Emily, who was sitting on the floor watching TV.

"Mommy!" she shrieked, jumping up and running to the couch.

"I'm sorry, Emmy," I said, sighing.

"Mom! Your phone is ringing!" JJ called from the kitchen.

Quickly turning off the vacuum, I ran to the table and grabbed my phone. "Hello?" I said, not bothering with checking my caller ID.

"Hey, B. How's it going?" My best friend, Rosalie, asked.

"Hi, Rose. I'm good, how are you doing?" I responded, sitting down at the kitchen table.

"You sound terrible. What's wrong?"

I sighed. Rose had always been very blunt and to the point.

"I haven't heard from Edward very much this week." JJ walked into the kitchen just as I had finished talking. Instead of trying to be cryptic, I decided to head into my bedroom to talk to Rose in private.

"Is that unusual?"

"Yeah. For the last few months since he came out, we've been talking daily. Since he went home after Leah's disappearing act, I have hardly heard from him at all."

"Has he said anything that would make you suspicious of his behavior?"

"No. He has hardly said anything. The texts I've received this week were only a few words. But, something did happen right before he left."

"What was that?"

I explained about the kiss and the outburst from JJ that came after. Rose was quiet for a minute, presumably thinking over the situation. I got up from my bed and began pacing.

"Hmm," she finally said. "I bet that freaked him out."

"Which one?" I said, attempting a joke.

She didn't laugh, though. "Well, both of them I guess. But, I was referring to Edward. From all that you've told me about him, I gather that he wants a relationship with you. He realizes he would have to be father to your kids if you two get married…he's a smart guy, B. JJ's comment probably scared him into thinking your kids might never accept him."

"Yeah, that's what I've been afraid of." I stopped pacing and sat back down on the bed. "What do I do about it?"

"Well, since he isn't answering your phone calls, send him an email explanation," she said, thoughtfully. "But, before you do, I have a question for you."

"Okay, shoot."

"Do you want a relationship with him?"

Stunned into silence, I thought about her question for a moment. "Of course I do! Haven't I made that clear?"

"To me, maybe, but have you made it clear to him?" I was incapable of speaking, so Rose continued, "You told him that you needed more time to _consider_ a relationship, but did you ever tell him in very specific terms that you _wanted_ him in your life? That you _wanted_ a relationship with him? Does he have any reason to think that you wouldn't want him one day and that you might find someone else in the mean time?"

Quickly, I began thinking through all of the conversations that we had had over the last few months. I asked him to wait for me, that the kids needed more time, that I still loved him…but did I actually say the words "I want you in my life?"

"Shit, Rose, I don't remember. I told him that I loved him…shouldn't that be a clue to him that I want him in his life?"

"B, he's a man."

"And?"

"Most guys that I know need things spelled out for them. He can't read your mind, so I would guess that he doesn't know exactly what your intentions are."

"It's too early for intentions!" I almost shouted. "I haven't seen him for thirteen years, Jake has only been gone for a little over a year and I have three children to consider."

"And what exactly do you have to consider?" Rose sighed. "Today, tomorrow or a year from now will be the same battle with the kids. Time doesn't make it any easier to think that their mother is trying to replace their dad….unless you are talking about waiting ten years or something."

"But—"

"No, wait, let me finish. Jake has been gone for over a year, and you are struggling as a single mom, I know you are. You have to be able to move on at some point."

"I know that, Rose, but what about the kids? Do you think it's good for them to have a mother get out there and start dating when they lost their dad so recently?" I paused for a moment. "JJ is only ten…I know he wouldn't be okay with it. He certainly proved that when Edward was out."

"Have you sat down with JJ and talked to him about it?"

"No."

"You should. Yes, he's a child, but since Jake died JJ has had to be the man of the house. Like it or not, he has had to grow up a lot in the last year. He sees you as his responsibility and he has to help you and protect you."

"I never thought about it that way…is that true?"

"B, what do I do for a living?" Rose asked, a hint of humor in her voice. She was a child psychiatrist, so she was definitely the expert.

"Yeah, okay. I don't know if I should talk to him…but I'll think about it."

"Good, that's all I ask. Now, my last question to you is this: what are you really afraid of?"

"What do you mean?"

"All of those reasons you gave me are valid, but nothing that you can't deal with. I want to know exactly what it is that has you freaking out about starting a relationship with him now."

Taking a deep breath, I decided to open up to her. "Edward has always been this fantasy man for me. We were never able to have a real relationship because of my mother. I'm afraid that I put him on this pedestal since I was seventeen, forcing Jake to have to live up to him during our marriage. What if he is flawed? What if I spent my whole life thinking about him and he isn't perfect?"

"That is the sanest thing you have said to me today. Now I totally understand what's going on." Rose took a deep breath, and I swear I could hear her smiling. "Of course you put him on a pedestal. Given how you two ended, and how much in love with him you were, and how abruptly you ended…well, that makes perfect sense to me.

"B, first of all, stop thinking that he is perfect! No one is perfect and Edward is no exception. He is human, and therefore flawed. He will make mistakes just like you and I do. He is just a man; a man who loves you and wants you in his life."

"And you don't think that I should take this year and just get to know him again?"

"No, I never said that. I like the idea of you two getting to know each other again, but I think you should be honest with him about how you feel. That's the only way that anything can work between you two."

"Thanks, Rose. What would I do without you?"

She laughed. "Emmett asks me that every day, and every day I tell him the same thing: you couldn't survive without me!"

My laughter joined hers. Emmett was her husband, who had been a good friend of Jake's. He was a smart man, but could have melt downs similar to one of my kids…he relied on Rose just as much as I did.

"When do I get to see you again, B?" Rose asked, changing the subject.

"How about we do lunch this weekend? Can Emmett watch the kids?"

Rose laughed. Emmett could play with the kids, but making sure they stayed out of trouble was not something he was good at. "I'll check with him, but that should be fine."

We ended the conversation shortly after that, and I brought up my email and began writing a long email to Edward. I had several things that I needed to explain.

**A/N: So, how many people are angry at the direction this is going? Hopefully not too many! Keep in mind, because I've said this several times with my last story, I would NEVER not give Edward and Bella a HEA. Trust me.**


	14. Chapter 13 - It's Complicated

**A/N: Well, the last chapter sure did stir up some emotions! PLEASE believe me that I have a legitimate plan, and in a couple chapters most of you will be happy.**

**Announcement! This is a special week. Because I love you guys, and hate to leave you with this, tomorrow you will get a second chapter for the week. Please try and hold out until tomorrow. It will be worth it, I promise!**

**Also, I love my fans, and I love hearing from you! I promise that I read every review, even if I do not have time to respond to each one. I also accept any criticism that you have…the only thing that I ask is that it's constructive. Please remember that this is purely a fiction story. **

**Now, making things a little complicated here…stay with me, my friends, a new chapter will be posted tomorrow!**

Chapter 13 – It's Complicated

"Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated."

Confucius

Bella

**From:** Bella Black bb13  
**Sent:** Saturday, March 31, 2012 1:23 PM  
**To:** Edward Cullen cullensspot  
**Subject:** Is everything okay?

I really hope that I'm not bugging you, but I haven't heard from you very much since you left Monday night. I keep hoping that you would text or call…I just hope that everything is okay.

I wanted to address something that's been on my mind since you were here. I feel like if I'm not honest with you that we have no chance of working on anything together, so here goes nothing.

I hope that I was clear about my intentions. I have been in love with you since we were teenagers, and I have recently come to realize that I compared Jake to you the whole time I was married. Honestly, since this epiphany hit me this week, I have been feeling extremely guilty to my late husband. I never deserved him…and probably don't deserve you either.

My thoughts have been running wild with your virtual silence this week, and I have been wondering if you finally realized that I am too much work for you. JJ is old enough to remember his father quite well and might never accept you. My friend Rose says that since he is the oldest, he is the most protective about me and the girls. This could be why he's feeling threatened by your presence.

I'm sorry that he said what he did…but I think that it helped us figure out that we do have some work ahead of us. I am happy that Leah and Emily seemed to take to you so easily, that will help us in the long run.

Now, here comes the honesty part I was talking about earlier. I want to be extremely clear, because I think that I haven't said everything up until now.

I want a relationship with you…I do want you in my life—and in my bed. And most importantly, I want you to have a relationship with my children.

I am an idiot…I should have never put a year limit on us getting to know each other. I want you to start getting to know my children now, as a friend, so that they will feel more comfortable with you later. I am taking the week of July fourth off this year to spend with my dad; I would really like it if you would join us.

Also, I want to plan something—for you coming down for a few days, and me going there with the kids…and most definitely a weekend away just us.

I am absolutely terrified right now, but I want this relationship so badly that I am willing to move past being scared.

Please call me soon! I want to hear your voice and make sure that you want the same things that I do.

Bella

~~ANB~~

I sat there staring at the computer screen for a good five minutes before I finally hit send and stood up. My nerves were definitely on edge because of that email. I hoped that Edward would call me immediately after the email was sent, but when my phone didn't ring, I decided to go back to cleaning.

JJ, Leah and Emily were all sitting in the living room eating sandwiches when I got back.

"Hi, Mom. I knew you were on the phone with Aunt Rose, so I made everyone sandwiches," JJ said, obviously very proud of himself. His statement made me understand exactly what Rose was talking about and realize that this entire situation had made him grow up too fast.

"That's great, JJ. Can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked, before turning my attention to the girls. "Can you two be good for a little bit while I talk to JJ?"

Emily nodded and smiled, but Leah scowled. "Why don't you want to talk to me?" Leah demanded.

"I'll talk to you after JJ, okay? You know I like to go in age order."

"That sucks…oldest to youngest or youngest to oldest, I'm still in the middle." She pouted, leaning back into the couch.

"Next time, you go first, Leah, okay?"

"Yeah. Okay."

JJ stood up and followed me back to my room. I held the door open and he walked in, staring at the floor. Silently closing the door, I sat down on the bed and motioned for him to sit next to me. "I wanted to talk to you about my friend Edward."

"Oh." His face didn't change at all, but his eyes flashed in anger. "I don't want to talk about him."

"Well, I do, so just listen up. He is my friend, and I know that you don't like him. But, I want you to tell me why you don't like him."

JJ shrugged. "I don't know…it just doesn't seem right for you to have male friends when you are married."

"Two problems, JJ. What about Uncle Emmett? And, technically, since your father's passing I'm not married."

"One, Uncle Emmett is already married, and two, wedding vows say 'till death…'" his voice carried off as he realized what he was saying.

"JJ, I know that you are the man of the house now, and this can be hard for you, but I want you to try and be nice to Edward. He's my good friend, and he will be around a lot more. You are the example for the girls, and I need you to help me."

"Help you?"

"Help me with the girls. Show them that he is a good guy and show them you're trying to be his friend. Edward doesn't want to replace your dad, he would never dream of anything like that. He just wants to be your friend. That's all!"

JJ shrugged again, and I had to take a calming breath. "I guess."

"Thank you, JJ," I whispered, kissing him on his forehead.

He mumbled, "That's gross, Mom." Then he got up and walked back to the living room.

As he left, I glanced over at my computer and saw that I had a new email:

From: **Mail Delivery Subsystem** mailer-daemon  
Date: Sat, Mar 31, 2012 at 2:56 PM  
Subject: Delivery Status Notification (Failure)  
To: bb13

Delivery to the following recipient failed:

cullensspot

Technical details of temporary failure:  
DNS Error: Email box is full

Once again, my nerves filled my stomach and boiled up to my throat. Something was definitely going on…and I was going to figure this out.

**A/N: **ducks and hides…reminds again of the second chapter of the week being posted tomorrow****

**Love you guys…stay with me until tomorrow!**

**Also, remember to follow me on Twitter for the newest updates on my stories! **


	15. Chapter 14 - Rock Bottom

**A/N: As promised, here is the second chapter for the week. I know that most of you are SO not happy with me right now…but, here is a glimpse into what Edward's been up to.**

***Warning* this chapter includes the mention of drugs and adult situations. It does say this in the story profile, so the warning was there in the beginning, but here is the chapter that deals the most with this. Please be aware…if you do not wish to read about drugs or adult situations…well…you have been warned.**

**If you are reading this, that means that you have stuck this hard time out with me. Thank you! It's all up hill from here, my friends. You will get the aspects that you wish coming up very quickly.**

**Once again, I must thank my beta's for helping me. This was a hard chapter to write, and it needed to be sent around a few times. Their patience was amazing, and I really appreciate it!**

**On with the story… **

Chapter 14 – Rock Bottom

"Modern man must descend the spiral of his own absurdity to the lowest point; only then can he look beyond it. It is obviously impossible to get around it, jump over it, or simply avoid it."

Vaclav Havel

Edward

My head was spinning as I slowly sat up. I was sleeping on Tonya's couch again. I may be totally fucked up right now, but I hadn't slept with her yet—not for lack of trying on her part though.

I glanced around and saw a half dozen other people scattered throughout the living room, all passed out. The remnants of the party the night before lay all over the coffee table; beer bottles, wine glasses, white powder and pill containers. My nose wrinkled in disgust as I took in the smell around me. There was vomit on the floor, condom wrappers and urine…the place smelled gross.

The pounding in my head seemed to get worse as I tried to remember what had happened last night. Tonya was wild and threw crazy parties…but what had I done?

Slowly, I stood up, bracing myself on the couch as the room started to spin. I fished my phone out of my pocket, but it was dead. With the party, and everything I had taken last night, I had forgotten to charge it. Slipping it back into my pocket, I began searching for my shoes.

"Morning, handsome," Tonya crooned, walking out of her room dressed only in a shirt. Her hair was matted on one side and her makeup was smeared all down her face. She walked into the kitchen and started making coffee.

Eventually, I found my shoes. I slipped them on and started walking toward the door.

"Where are you going so fast?" Tonya asked, walking toward me with a coffee cup in her hand. "You can't leave yet, I haven't gotten what I need from you."

"I'm tired, and I am going home," I said, continuing toward the door.

"Don't you want to take a shower with me?" She raised her eyebrows suggestively.

"No, Tonya. I told you last night, I don't want to sleep with you."

She slowly walked toward me, swaying her hips and letting her shirt slide up to reveal her legs—and the fact that she didn't have on underwear. Her smile became an evil grin as she wound her free arm around me.

"I have no intention of _sleeping_ with you, Edward."

"Yeah, I have no intention of that either. Goodbye, Tonya." I managed to get out of her grasp and run out of her door.

My head was still spinning as I got into my car. _What had I taken last night? Tonya gave me that white pill, I drank some beer…but could that have caused me to feel so dizzy?_

The most terrifying part of the whole night was that I didn't remember very much. My heart started racing at the thought that I could have done anything and wouldn't know.

By the time I made it home, I was shaking and sweat was pouring down my face. I walked up to my condo on the fourteenth floor and stopped dead in my tracks.

"Edward?" Bella asked, spinning to face me. "What happened?"

"Bella," I managed to say, as I sank into the wall beside me.

"Here, give me your keys, let me get you inside."

I slipped my keys out of my pocket, but they ended up on the floor instead of in Bella's hand. She bent to pick them up, and then she grabbed me and helped me walk. Once inside, she got me to my bed and helped me slip off my shoes.

"Can I call someone for you?" she asked, tentatively.

"My dad," I croaked. My phone ended up on the floor, too, as I tried to hand it to her. If I had had more energy, I would have been furious at myself for allowing Tonya to do this to me…and that Bella had to see it.

Bella was a blur as she moved around my room. I was fading in and out of consciousness, but I tried to watch her. It looked like she had plugged my phone into the charger by my desk, and then it looked like she was calling someone.

The last image I had before blackness took me was Bella leaning over and kissing my forehead.

~~ANB~~

Bella

Edward was white as a sheet and looked like he hadn't slept in days. Once I had seen the email get returned because his inbox was full, I knew something was wrong. Fortunately, Rose and Emmett were able to come over and stay with the kids.

I had flown to Seattle in a flash, but he hadn't answered his door. The bed at my hotel room hadn't been slept in last night, since all I could do was pace all night. Once it had been a reasonable hour, I made my way back to Edward's apartment to wait. No answer, once again, but within half an hour, Edward had shown up.

Terror had risen in my body as I'd helped get him into bed. I managed to plug his phone in and locate his father's number.

"Hello, Edward."

"Um, hi, Mr. Cullen?"

"Yes. Why do you have Edward's phone?"

"I'm a friend of his…he's really sick and asked me to call you." I silently prayed that Edward's father would come as quickly as he could. I remembered that he was a doctor; surely he could help.

"What's wrong? Does he have a fever?"

"Um, no I don't think so. He looks sick, but honestly it almost looks like he's been drinking, and like he hasn't slept in days." I walked back over to Edward, whose eyes were closing. I bent down and kissed him on the forehead, then went back to the phone. "He's breathing and everything, but he's as white as a sheet and cold to the touch."

"Okay, I'm on my way. Give me a couple hours to get there. If he gets worse before I get there, call 9-1-1." He paused for a minute. "What did you say your name was?"

"I didn't, but my name is Bella Bla-Swan."

"Well, Bella, it's nice to hear your voice again. Esme and I are getting in the car right now. We'll get there as soon as we can."

I thanked him and then hung up. Edward looked to be out like a light, so I started to clean up. His apartment was dirtier than my kids' rooms. There were clothes all over the floor, dishes piled up in the kitchen and pill and beer bottles laying on every surface.

The combination of the pill and beer bottles is what concerned me most. Only one of the pill bottles had his name on it, and they all appeared to be narcotics of some kind. I knew that narcotics shouldn't be mixed with alcohol. _What the hell has Edward been doing?_

It took me some time to locate everything I needed, but eventually I was able to start cleaning up the mess. My mind started racing as I cleaned, trying to figure out what had happened to him. He had been MIA for almost a week, and as soon as I'd seen him, I knew that he was messed up.

Edward had told me about his younger years, in the Army and just after he left. How he used to get drunk and take pills, and how his life had spiraled down for so long. His parents had picked him up and helped him get back on his feet. That was ten years ago, or so. He told me that he hadn't had any problems since then.

Something must have triggered this behavior, and I hoped like hell it wasn't me or our situation. But, unfortunately, given the timing of this, I had to conclude that it was me. A tear rolled down my cheek, as I realized what I was putting him through.

By the time Edward's parents got there, the apartment was pretty clean. I had thrown a load of his laundry in the washing machine, and the dishwasher was still running. All of the beer bottles were in a trash bag, and the pill bottles were safely hidden away.

The knock on the door made me jump, but I hurried over to open the door. A handsome man, who looked like Edward, and a beautiful woman, who had the same color hair as Edward, stood on the other side of the door. They looked familiar, but I hadn't seen Edward's parents more than twice when we were younger, so I'm not surprised that I didn't really recognize them.

"Bella, dear, so nice to see you again. I don't know if you remember us, but I'm Esme and this is Carlisle, we're Edward's parents," Esme said, walking up to me and clasping my hand. "Thank you so much for calling us and for taking care of Edward."

"Where is he?" Carlisle asked.

"In the bedroom," I whispered. Being in their son's apartment with them here suddenly made me feel very uncomfortable.

"I'm going to check on him. Esme?" Carlisle looked at his wife briefly, and when she nodded, he walked away.

Esme steered me toward the couch. Once we were sitting comfortably, she looked at me. "So, Bella, I heard from your father that you live in Reno now. What brings you to Seattle?" Her eyes sparkled as she spoke.

"Um, well, Edward and I have been getting to know each other again, and he came down last Monday because of an issue with my daughter, and I haven't heard from him since. I got worried," I said, shrugging. "My best friends are watching my kids for me so I could come up."

Esme looked worried for a split second, before she smiled. "I'm happy that you and Edward are getting to know each other again." She shifted uncomfortably for a minute. "I'm not very shy, and I'm hoping that you and I can speak frankly."

"O-of course," I stuttered.

"You know, of course, that Edward is an only child?"

"Yes."

"Did you know that he is very close to his father and I?" I nodded. "Edward tells us everything about his life, and I wanted you to know that he told me about his visit to Reno last December."

I could feel my hands start to shake, and I tried to remember exactly what we had talked about and what had happened…every embarrassing detail of what happened started to flood back. I wondered just how much Edward had told her.

"Carlisle and I were talking on the way up here, and I wanted to speak to you about this situation. Carlisle didn't want me to meddle, but I have to discuss a few things with you." She took a deep breath, which I mirrored, before continuing, "Edward has been pining for you for many years. I have always personally believed that you were the reason why he couldn't make a relationship stick, not intentionally, of course, but because he couldn't get his mind away from you."

She paused again and glanced toward Edward's bedroom door. "Carlisle and I were so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband."

"Thank you."

"Being a single mom must be very hard."

"Yes."

"How are you doing with everything? Are you getting on okay?"

"Um," I mumbled, more than uncomfortable under her penetrating gaze. "I'm doing okay I guess. Dad comes out once a month for a weekend trip. My friend Rose and her husband take the kids when they can…it's difficult, but I'm doing the best I can."

"You look tired, dear. Have you been sleeping?"

For just a moment, Esme reminded me of my mother. She had always asked me if I was sleeping. Renee had cared for me a great deal, but her intentions had usually not turned out well. She overthought every situation and made decisions for me before discussing them.

"Yes, most nights. Emily—my youngest, who is three—has some trouble sleeping at night. But, the older two aren't bad anymore."

"I'm sorry, I'm sure it's difficult." She placed her hand on my arm. "I understand that you gave Edward a year before you two can start dating."

I sat in stunned silence as I listened to her.

"I know that you must be scared to start a new relationship, but I wonder if Edward could help you," she explained. "Has he met your children yet?"

I finally shook myself out of the shock and was able to respond to her. "Yes, he came down to Seattle last Monday. We had an issue with Leah, and he came down to help me with the situation. He got to meet the kids then."

"How did that go?"

"My oldest, JJ, had some problems with Edward." I was seriously going into shock with this conversation. Esme certainly didn't beat around the bush much. "The girls seemed to love him."

She leaned closer to me with a penetrating gaze. "I don't want you to do anything that you aren't ready for, but don't you think that you need a year?"

"Well, initially that's what I thought, yes. But I've recently changed my mind. That is, if…"

"If, what, dear?"

"If he'll still have me."

A soft cough made me look up. Edward and his father were standing next to the bedroom door.

**A/N: So, now that we know what's been going on with Edward, how do you think he will handle the inevitable talk with Bella? **

**Next chapter in one week, and it is my favorite chapter of all so far. I know you will enjoy it as well.**

**Once again, thank you to all my readers who stuck it out and are here reading my note. Love to you all, and keep on reading. So much more to come!**


	16. Chapter 15 - Honesty

**A/N: Welcome back! Two chapters being posted last week seemed to go over pretty well. I hope you all found Edward's journey interesting. We get a little more info here, but the most important chapter is the next one. Trust me, you will all understand with Chapter 16.**

**Thanks again to my fabulous beta's. You two are so amazing, and I couldn't do this without you.**

**Oh, yeah, by the way, CITRUS warning in this chapter!**

**Read on!**

Chapter 15 – Honesty

"Almost any difficulty will move in the face of honesty. When I am honest I never feel stupid. And when I am honest I am automatically humble."

Hugh Prather

"_Well, initially that's what I thought, yes. But I've recently changed my mind. That is, if…"_

"_If, what, dear?"_

"_If he'll still have me."_

Edward

I cleared my throat, making Dad and my presence known. Bella's eyes met mine, and her face flushed instantly.

"Take care of yourself, son. Call me if something changes," Dad said, walking toward the front door of my condo. "Esme, let's give these two some time alone, now that Edward's feeling better."

Mom walked over to me, kissed me on the cheek, and then followed my dad out. I was still feeling shaky and exhausted, but I was better than before. My father, once again, had warned me of the use of narcotics, such as Vicodin, and alcohol together. This time, since the last time had been in my early twenties, I heeded his advice.

After my parents left, I walked over to where Bella was still sitting on my couch. I sat down beside her and reached over to take her hand.

"I'm so sorry that I worried you. I, um, kind of lost it this week," I supplied in response to her quizzical look.

Bella sat up a little straighter and stared at me. "You told me that you stopped partying. I come here to find you barely conscious and your house a wreck! There were pill bottles, beer bottles and filth all over this place. What the hell happened to you?"

Leaning back against the couch, I ran my hand through my hair. "Honestly, I'm not sure how to explain myself here, because I myself don't really understand what the hell happened. Seeing you last week with your children made me realize how much I want to be a part of your family.

"I met Tonya on the plane going back to Seattle. After the JJ incident, I figured that I would need to back off. She posed a certain kind of distraction for me…one that I felt I really needed in order to not live my life according to you so much."

Frustrated, I stood up and began pacing. With my foggy head, this was actually more difficult than I had originally thought it would be, so I sat back down and placed my head in my hands. Avoiding Bella's eyes was the most important thing now, for fear of facing her disappointment. "I feel like I'm saying this all wrong. I got frustrated, Bella! I flew out there on a total whim because I thought you needed me. I wanted to be there for you and your children while Leah was gone…all I did was cause more problems! How can I have any hope of integrating with your family? Is it even possible?"

Bella lightly placed her hands in mine, forcing my arms away from my face. Reluctantly, I looked up at her. In her eyes I found what I wanted: understanding. "Edward, the children lost their dad only a little over a year ago. I lost Jake a few years before that. It's understandable that their loss is still so prominent, while mine isn't. We have to give them time."

"Are you saying that even after I acted like a total asshole, you still want me?"

Bella's laughter filled my small condo, lighting up the whole room. "You silly, stupid man. Of course I still want you! The only reason why I'm here is because I sent you an email saying those specific words that was returned. The failure message said that your email box was full, so I knew there was a problem."

"Bella…"

She leaned closer to me and kissed me softly. "I love you…and I've missed you so much."

"But I've made so many mistakes, and I don't know how to recover from some of them."

Suddenly, Bella stiffened. "Did you sleep with her?"

"No."

"Then, we're good."

Smiling, I pulled her close, resting her head on my shoulder. "I'm so glad you are here. How long can I keep you?"

"I have a flight out tomorrow morning. I couldn't stay any longer than that because Rose and Emmett have to go to work tomorrow afternoon. They took the morning off for me to figure this stuff out."

"You mean I have you for a whole night?" I said, grinning into her hair.

She leaned up and caught my smile, and returned it. "Yes, you do. Whatever will you do with me?"

"Hmm…too many ideas and not enough time," I joked, laughing lightly. "How about a nap first? You look as tired as I feel."

"Yes, a nap sounds great! I didn't sleep last night at all, so I think that's definitely the first thing we should do." Bella stood up and began walking toward my bedroom. "Isn't that just a little crappy, Edward?"

"What, taking a nap? Sounds fucking great if you ask me."

"No, the fact that taking a nap sounds so _fucking great._ Damn, we're old."

My laughter joined hers as I followed her to my room, and we were both under the covers in a matter of seconds. She scooted closer to me, and I wrapped my arms around her, just savoring the moment. I didn't care if this was just for one nap, or one night, or whatever. I had my Bella back, and it was amazing.

~~~ANB~~~

Bella

I swear I fell asleep the second my head hit the pillow, because before I knew it, I was waking up a couple hours later feeling so much better. Edward was still asleep beside me, with his arms surrounding me in his warmth. For a moment, I just stared at him. There were dark circles under his eyes and he still looked pale, but not as bad as he did when I'd seen him that morning.

Slipping out of bed as quietly as I could, I walked into the living room and called Rose. I updated her on the situation, that Edward was okay and that I would still be staying one more night. She was supportive, as usual, and informed me that the kids were fine and I should have a good time.

I was just ending the conversation with Rose when I felt two warm, strong arms wrap around me from behind. After hanging up the phone, I leaned back into Edward's embrace. For a moment, we just stood there holding each other, not saying a word.

The familiar sensation of electricity coursed through me, as it typically did when I was touching Edward. The feeling had been terrifying, on some level, when I was in high school, but now it just excited me. To be so deeply connected with someone…to be that in tune with someone…wow! What an amazing feeling.

Guilt flooded my head as I thought about Jake again. I had never felt this with him. Jake had been comfortable, yes, but not electrifying. Isn't that what love is supposed to be?

"I don't know, beautiful. That's just how it always has been for us," Edward said. Apparently, I had voiced my question out loud. "Maybe it's not like this for everyone. I've never had it with anyone else, so I wouldn't know."

I turned so that I could look at him. "I haven't either…that's what I was thinking. I was married to Jake for ten years, and I never felt that with him."

His eyes were full of concern. "I'm sorry, Bella. What can I do to help you?"

Smiling, I responded with the only thing that I had wanted since I first heard his voice again. "Love me."

His mouth came down hard on mine. Sparks flew around us as he lifted me up and I wound my legs around him. Too slowly for my taste, he walked us toward his bedroom. He gently laid me down on the bed and began unbuttoning my shirt. I leaned up so we could remove the offending piece of clothing, which was soon followed by my bra.

Edward moved slowly away from my mouth and traveled, kissing lightly, down to my breasts. His tongue snaked out over my nipple, causing me to start shaking. I moaned when he took my nipple into his mouth, sucking hard. When his hand moved down and began unbuttoning my pants, I arched into him, begging him to move faster.

Extreme need was building up inside of me and I worried I would combust before he got his clothes off. Once my pants and underwear were gone, Edward leaned back and his gaze lingered on my body. Without thinking, I covered myself up with the blanket. Three children make the body not look its best, in my opinion, so I tried to hide what that did to my body with the blanket.

Carefully, Edward moved the blanket and kissed my stomach, right where the majority of the stretch marks were. "You were beautiful at seventeen, but you are exquisite now. More so than I remember," he whispered, kissing me again and making my heart melt.

I grabbed him and pulled him up toward me, locking my mouth with his. My tongue slid along his lip, begging for entrance, which he allowed. As our tongues clashed together, the need grew for both of us. I began pulling his clothes off as quickly as possible. Our kissing became urgent…hurried.

Finally, I slid his boxers off, and then he was as naked as I was. He leaned back and looked into my eyes. "Bella, are you sure?"

Biting my lip, I stared into the beautiful, green eyes of the man I loved. I wasn't able to find my voice, so I nodded. Edward got up and grabbed a condom from his bedside table, slipped it on, and then came back to the bed. He lowered himself onto me and stared into my eyes again.

Slowly, he pushed himself inside of me, and I held back a moan. Once he was fully inside of me, he stopped and kissed me softly. Our tongues met again, and instead of a hurried kiss, it was leisurely. Edward ran his hands down my body, cupping my leg and hitching it up around him as he started to move inside me.

My entire body began tingling as Edward sped up. His tongue was still playing with mine but I found that I needed to separate from him for a breath. He continued kissing me, across my face, down my neck and began nibbling on the sensitive spot behind my ear.

"I love you, beautiful," Edward whispered in my ear.

Pushing him slightly, I managed to lay down on top of him and began moving faster. Both of his hands found my breasts, and as his fingers brought my nipples to painful peaks, I began shuttering. One of his hands slipped down between us and started rubbing my clit in tiny circles, and I slipped over the edge.

"Edward," I whispered, clenching around him. He began shaking slightly, as he found his own release. Still shaking from coming so hard—harder than I had in years—I lowered myself on top of him and laid my head on his chest. "I love you, too."

"My beautiful Bella. I don't deserve you."

Picking my head up, I rested my chin on his chest and stared up at him. "It's me who doesn't deserve you. You are a wonderful man, and I love you."

"As I love you," he whispered.

**A/N: Does everyone love me again? Hehehe! More to come!**


	17. Chapter 16 - Reality

**A/N: And here is the second half of the night they got together. Enjoy!**

**Thanks again to my wonderful beta's!**

Chapter 16 – Reality

"We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort."

Jesse Owens

Edward

Bella's hair was fanned out on my pillow as she slept. It was a beautiful sight; a real treat in the morning. Since I'd got out of the Army there had been many women in my bed…but nothing had been as wonderful as Bella.

She shifted slightly as her eyes opened. Though hazy, she looked up at me and smiled.

"How long have you been awake?" Bella asked, sitting up.

"Just a few minutes," I said, leaning over and kissing her. "I didn't mean to wake you up. I was enjoying the view."

She giggled. "Enjoying watching me sleep? How terribly interesting indeed!" She laughed again as she scooted closer to me so she could lean against my chest. "I'm afraid you lead a boring life, Mr. Cullen, if watching me sleep is entertaining."

I joined her laughter, kissing her again. "For thirteen years I have wanted you back in my bed. Now that I have you here, I don't want to let you go. So, watching you sleep is an amazing experience. Are you hungry, beautiful?"

"Yes, very. But, I don't think that you have much food in this place." Bella sat up, and I enjoyed the view as she walked around the room gathering her clothing. "How about we go out to eat?"

Smirking, I looked at her. "But, if we went out, you'd have to get dressed."

She tossed her clothes on the bed and made her way over to me. I turned to sit on the bed, and she positioned herself between my legs. "Instead of going out, we could just order a pizza or something. Since you clearly want to keep me naked."

Winding my arms around her, I stared deeply into her eyes. "This is where you always should have been, love."

Pure emotion shone through her eyes, and I was surprised to see a tear fall from them. Slowly, I wiped the tear away and questioned her with my own eyes.

"This is all so surreal…" Bella sighed.

"What is?"

"Being here with you in your house. Feeling how much you love me. I just, well, I'm not used to it, is all." She bit her lip as another tear escaped.

"Not used to what? Being loved? Being appreciated?" She nodded. "I think it's time that you tell me exactly what went on between you and Jacob."

"I have told you a lot already."

"Tell me more, love. I know that you two were growing apart for the last few years, but why exactly? What happened before that point?"

Bella sighed, sinking down to sit on my lap. "I told you how insistent Jake had been in the beginning to get me to go out with him. Well, once I finally gave in it felt different to me. It was like once he had me he didn't need to work at anything anymore. It was several months later before we slept together, and Jake had been, um, selfish. He wasn't interested in my pleasure. And, he hated using condoms, so we didn't use anything at all." She snorted. "It really wasn't a surprise when I got pregnant. Jake's dad hit the roof and made him propose."

"Made him? He didn't want to?"

"I don't know if he didn't want to, necessarily, but he only asked after his dad yelled at him about it. It was just a couple months after I graduated from high school, so my mother insisted as well. After we were married, we only had sex a handful of times before JJ was born. Honestly, he didn't seem interested."

"Did you two ever talk about it? About why he wasn't interested?"

"Yes. After JJ was born, we didn't have sex for almost a year. One night, I broke down and asked him if he was no longer attracted to me since the pregnancy. I didn't lose the weight immediately afterwards, and I thought maybe I was too fat for him. Jake said it wasn't that at all. He said that he just wasn't into sex that much." She snorted again, and I noticed that the tears were coming faster now. "I've never heard of a guy who wasn't into sex.

"Needless to say, I didn't believe him, but he got so defensive and angry that I didn't bring it up again. Jake was a wonderful father to JJ, and he decided that he wanted another child. He had already quit his job by that point, and I was struggling to get through my college courses and working as a temp at a large company in Seattle. I didn't want another baby…I figured another mouth to feed was not a smart move. Jake insisted, and we started having sex again. He was the same as always, not caring whether I enjoyed it or if I was in pain from the previous day's sexual activities. It took us over a year to get pregnant with Leah. It was a long year."

"Bella, did he rape you?" My concern was mounting as I listened to her. If Jake hadn't been gone already, I swear I would have killed him.

"Oh, no, I was willing to for the most part, but I didn't feel like I had any choice. Jake wasn't a violent man, but his anger was incredible. I didn't grow up in a house with yelling, so I wasn't used to it at all. It terrified me when he yelled. To save myself from dealing with that, I just went along with him. It seemed easier at the time." She shrugged again and leaned into me. "Jake wanted to stop at two. But, he was drunk one night, and I ended up getting pregnant with Emily. He was so angry that he hardly spoke to me at all for the first six months. That's when he started sleeping on the couch. By the time Emily was born, he was nicer, and he certainly loved her. But, I don't think that he loved me by this time."

"Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry. It sounds like you have been miserable for a while. Did you ever think about leaving him?" I couldn't believe her story. Bella was a vibrant, beautiful woman…what man wouldn't want to sleep with her? This was very strange, the way that Jake had pushed her away.

I looked down at Bella; she was biting her lip. It was obvious that she was in pain having to relive all of this with Jake, so I refrained from asking the question that was on my mind: had Jake been cheating on her?

"I did leave him, actually. We separated for a few months before I got pregnant with Emily. But, it was just so hard. The kids didn't understand why he was gone, and why we didn't do things as a family anymore." She looked at me with unwavering eyes. "I let him move back in because it was upsetting the kids. I know that may not be the smartest thing I've ever done, but my kids' happiness and wellbeing has to be my primary concern."

"Bella, I would never think any less of you for putting your children first." I rubbed her back softly and shifted closer to her. "Speaking of which, maybe we should talk about what just happened between us, and how your children tie into all of this."

"Okay…"

"Now that I have you back, I can't let go of you. I can't wait for the rest of the year to be up before being with you again. I want to give you the time you need, but it's been too long already. Do you know what I mean?"

She nodded and stood up again. She pulled on her clothes fairly quickly before she started pacing around my bedroom. "You never got that email I sent you, but I had some ideas about that."

"Do tell, love."

"I realized that I didn't want to be without you either, so I thought we could slowly introduce you to my kids. I'm coming out to my dad's house for the Fourth of July week, maybe you can spend the week with us? And definitely weekend trips…I'll come here, you come to me. Help the kids get to know you a little, you know?"

Smiling, I stood up and put my boxers on. "That sounds great." One thing was weighing on my mind though, and if we didn't talk about it now it may be harder to bring up. I walked over to Bella, wrapped my arms around her, and whispered into her ear, "At some point, we are going to need to discuss living arrangements."

Bella sighed and leaned into me. "Yes, I know. I, um, don't have an answer to that right now."

"That's okay. We don't have to have all of the answers right now. Eventually, one of us will need to move. But, we don't need to talk about that right now."

Bella looked up at me and smiled. "We have some time before that will be a concern."

I studied her eyes for a moment. "Bella, don't make any mistake about this…I will be asking you to marry me one day. I would have in a heartbeat when we were kids, but we were a little too young." We both chuckled. "But, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Do you understand?"

"Yes," she said, very quietly.

"Now, it's only eight o'clock or so, we have the whole night ahead of us. Whatever shall we do?" I asked, winking at her.

Bella laughed and started taking off her clothes, dinner long forgotten. We made it back into bed, stumbling and tripping over things as we kissed passionately.

We knew what was important—the few short hours we had left, not the pizza.

**A/N: Well, unfortunately our duo has to get back to reality in the next chapter. Let me know what you think!**


	18. Chapter 17 - Repercussions

**A/N: Welcome back! Bella is heading back to the real world in this chapter. I wonder how that will turn out?**

**Thanks to my extra patient beta's for sticking by me!**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 17 – Repercussions

"What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men. That is what love looks like."

Saint Augustine

Bella

Leaving Edward was hard to do. We had stayed up almost all night talking and making love, and it was the most intimate than I'd been with anyone in a long time. His passion had me shaking and his interest in my life had me feeling so loved. He made me dredge up all of the feelings of inadequacy I had felt while married to Jacob, and he had also been able to remove a lot of my doubts about myself.

Edward had driven me to the airport after I'd dropped off my rental car and picked up my suitcase from the forgotten hotel. We were silent in the car, feelings of loss weighing heavily on our minds. Neither one of us knew exactly when we would see each other again until the Fourth of July, but that was still two months away.

"We will do this again, love. I promise," Edward whispered as he held me tight. We were standing in the loading zone in front of SeaTac Airport. He leaned back and wiped a tear from my cheek. "This isn't goodbye. Worst case, we see each other in July. But, you never know, maybe we can plan something sooner."

"I know, it just feels like I'm losing you all over again. I'm not sure that my heart can take much more of this." My joke had fallen flat, unfortunately, because Edward looked at me with concern and something I didn't recognize.

"Well, you and the kids could just move in with me now," Edward said, not smiling at all, but looking at me like he was serious.

"Are you kidding?" I asked, hopefully.

"No, beautiful. I'm totally serious."

"Move in with you?"

"Yes."

My heart fluttered at his gesture, but my head immediately rejected the idea. . "I can't just throw the kids into a whole new city and life right now. Thank you for the offer, but it's just too soon."

He nodded in understanding and pulled me against him again. I inhaled deep, trying to memorize his smell. I could hear the bustle of travelers around us, but I didn't care. I couldn't pry myself away from him, even though I knew I still had to get past the security gates before making it to my flight.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"Promise me something."

"Anything, love."

Leaning back, I stared into his eyes. "Promise me that you will never take drugs again…or disappear on me again. I can't handle the thought of either."

He was silent for a moment, an unreadable expression on his face. "I promise to never do that again. I am so sorry that I put you through that. I was stupid and immature last week…that's no excuse, but it's true. I will never be absent from your life again, unless you order me away."

"I could never do that."

"Then we'll be just fine." He kissed me one last time, and I reluctantly let go of him and made my way inside the airport.

By the time I got home, I was an emotional wreck. Leaving him was more painful that I had thought it would be, and I was actually considering taking him up on his offer to move to Seattle.

Rose greeted me when I walked in the door with a knowing smile and a brief hug. "How'd it go? You're glowing!"

I laughed and hugged her back. "I feel like a new woman…I know that's a terrible cliché, but it's true! I feel like I haven't felt in years. I feel like a teenager in love!"

"So, Edward was just as good as you remembered?" Her eyes twinkled mischievously.

"Better."

"Damn, girl. You better spill the details!"

We made our way to the couch and I told her the story of the weekend—not _every_ detail of course, but I gave her most of them. "When we were saying goodbye, he actually asked me if I wanted to move to Seattle with the kids. He asked me to move in with him."

"And what did you say?"

"That it was too soon. That I didn't want to move the kids so soon after their dad's death."

Rose nodded. "I can understand that. Edward seems to be one of those guys who is into romantic gestures, which is great for the most part. But, he doesn't have kids so he can't understand how difficult that would be right now." She paused, staring at me for a moment. "Are you considering it?"

"Sort of. I mean, logically I know that I can't just move my kids right now. I own this house, and it would be a pain to sell and I would hate to uproot the children in the middle of a school year…"

"But?"

"But, my heart is screaming something else. It's telling me that I should be with Edward now."

"So, your heart and your head are fighting right now?"

"Yeah."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"Ever the psychiatrist, hmm?" I winked at her, but continued, "Honestly, I'm not sure. The problem is that last night brought back everything I didn't know that I had missed over the years. Rose, he made me feel special in a way that Jake never did. He cared about my problems, talked them out with me. He was tender and loving in bed…he cared about _me_ and not himself. I…it's never been like that before."

"He sounds wonderful, Bells. Wonderful for you and the kind of person who might make a great stepfather…drug use aside, of course."

"He used to have a drug problem after being in the military…it just cropped up again because of how much stress he was under. He promised me that he would never do that again."

"Okay…just watch him. Some people say that they aren't going to do that again, but they slip. Taking drugs is addictive and sometimes you need other people to help you quit."

"I will, Rose."

"Good." She stood up and started moving toward the door. "Well, I have to get to work. I wanted to wait for you to get home, since the kids were gone, so we could talk. I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay, Rose. And, thanks again for helping with the kids." I got up and gave her a swift hug before she left.

Glancing at the clock on my phone, I realized that I had a couple hours before I had to pick the kids up from school. I made myself busy unpacking, doing laundry and cleaning up. By the time I left to pick up the kids, the house was clean.

The girls were excited to see me and began regaling me with stories of 'Uncle Emmett' and how silly he is. JJ was very quiet on the ride home, not offering any comments to the girls' stories. My concern for him mounted as he continued the silence through dinner. After we were done eating, JJ disappeared into his room so I spent some time with my girls; reading to them, giving them baths and finally tucking them into bed.

Knocking on JJ's door, I opened the door slowly to find him lying on his bed staring at the ceiling. "JJ? Are you okay?" I walked over to his bed and sat down.

JJ sat up slowly and didn't meet my eyes. "I'm fine."

"No, you aren't. You haven't said more than two words to me since I got home. What's wrong?"

He fidgeted for a few moments before responding. "You were with him…weren't you?"

By now I shouldn't have been surprised by the things that JJ said…He has always been extremely observant. But I _was_ surprised. For a moment I wrestled with lying to him, but it didn't seem like a good idea. "Yes, I was with Edward. He's my friend and he needed me."

"Why?"

"He was having a hard time."

"So you just abandoned us for him? He means more to you than us…"

Reaching forward, I grabbed a hold of his hands. "No! Not at all! I love you…all three of you! Edward is my friend and he needed me. I had to go and help him."

JJ was silent for a moment, but he didn't pull away from me. "Are you dating him?"

Without thinking about his reaction, I responded, "Yes."

JJ flew out of the bed and away from me. He began pacing; a favorite past time of his father's. For a few moments, I just watched him. "JJ, I'm sorry that you had to find out like this. Edward is important to me, and I think that he could be good for this family. Good for you."

He turned around and I saw tears streaming down his face. "Am I not doing a good job helping you around here? Do I need to do more? Why do you need someone else in your life? Aren't we enough for you?"

My heart shattered into a million pieces at his outburst. I made my way over to him, pulling him into my arms. My tears began mixing with his as I struggled with how to answer him. I wished desperately that Rose was here at the moment. She would know exactly how to handle this.

But since Rose wasn't here, I had to do the best I could. I knelt down and looked JJ in the eye. "You have been wonderful since your father's death. I couldn't ask for a better helper around the house. But, baby, it's not the same. Edward is my equal, and I love him just as I love you and your sisters. I just love him in a different way. No one can replace your father…and no one can replace you and your sisters. The way I feel about him is just…different."

"I-I guess I don't understand."

"Maybe we should sit down with Aunt Rose and talk about it, just the three of us?"

"I guess."

"I love you, sweetheart. I'm not sure what more I can say right now." I felt completely defeated.

"Don't bother. Just leave me alone."

Silently, I walked out of his room. I quickly dialed Edward and spent the next hour crying on the phone to him. He was as comforting as he could be, but mostly he just listened to me. After I had finished talking with Edward, I had one more call to make.

"Hello?"

"Rose? I need your help…"

**A/N: So, what do you all think of JJ in this chapter? I based a lot of his reactions off of that same friend who had kids and had to integrate a new relationship, and ultimately integrate a new husband, to her family. I understand that not all children will act this way, but it is a story after all!**

**I would love to hear your thoughts!**


	19. Chapter 18 - Therapy

**A/N: Welcome back! Sorry for the delay this week, the holiday weekend in conjunction with being sick really did a number on me this week.**

**Not much to say about this chapter. The real news is coming up in the next few chapters. I envision only about 10 more chapters (give or take—depending on outtakes!). Enjoy!**

**Thanks to my fab beta's!**

Chapter 18 – Therapy

"Always admit when you're wrong. You'll save thousands in therapy... and a few friendships too."

Harvey Fierstein

Edward

It was a week later before I finally ran into Tonya. Seattle wasn't really a small city, but for some reason, I knew that I wasn't rid of her yet. I saw her walking out of a coffee shop around the corner from my condo, wearing a bright red jacket and thigh-high boots. She immediately smiled and walked my way.

At first I was nervous. But, after remembering my promise to Bella, I became stern with determination to not let her tempt me. _That's bullshit, Cullen, and you know it. You are an adult and have the ability to tell people to go away. You behaved like an asshole and you are lucky Bella stuck around. You had no right to even flirt with her on the plane ride that started all this shit!_

"Edward," Tonya purred, sliding up next to me on the sidewalk. "I've missed you. You missed a hell of a party last night."

"Tonya," I replied, undeterred. I continued walking toward the garage where my car was parked. Unfortunately, she followed me.

"Edward, are you just going to ignore me now?"

"Yes."

"But I thought we had something special?" She pouted, planting herself directly in front of me.

I stopped and stared at her for a moment, wondering how I ever found her fun or exciting at all. "Tonya, I have a girlfriend that I am very much in love with. I will not be attending your parties anymore. Please leave me alone."

"Please," she scoffed. "That's not what you were saying last week! You were begging me for more pills and alcohol. You were enjoying yourself. I know you were!"

"Tonya…" I sighed, struggling with how to tell her how I felt without being an ass.

"Shut up, Edward. I am not done with you—I haven't got all I want yet." She pressed herself into me and tried to kiss me. I moved my head, so she ended up kissing my chin instead of my mouth. "Dammit! Stop trying to resist me! You know that we would be great together!"

Finally, my patience had run out completely. I pulled Tonya forward, and grabbed both of her arms, moving my head close to her ear. "Now, you listen to me. I'm done with this bullshit. You and I are nothing! Never were and never will be anything! I want you to stay away from me or I'll call the cops and tell them about your little _parties_."

Her eyes were wide by the time I was done. She sniffed and cast her eyes down. "But, we are perfect together," she whispered.

"No, we aren't."

Tonya looked at me one last time and then began moving away from me. For a moment, I felt bad for her. She needed to get help, like I had, in order to stop using all of these different drugs. However, she wasn't my problem. I needed to prove to Bella that I was going to be responsible and not let one tiny moment dictate my sobriety.

I would make her trust me again—I had to. I needed _her_ desperately.

~~ANB~~

JJ

_This is so stupid._ My mother was forcing me to talk to Aunt Rose about the situation with Edward. Her _boyfriend_. The word made me sick to my stomach. There was no way that I would accept him. He wasn't my father, and he never could be.

"JJ, why don't you tell me about how you felt when your mom came back from Seattle?" Aunt Rose asked, sitting down on the chair opposite me.

"Fine." I wasn't going to volunteer anything. I did NOT want to do this.

"Your mom tells me you were pretty upset with her."

"Yeah."

"Can you tell me why?"

My eyes wandered over her office. It was small, clean and felt like a hospital. I loved Aunt Rose, and Uncle Emmett, too, but I didn't want to talk to her. Not about this, anyway. I heard her shift a little in her seat waiting for my reply. Unfortunately for her, she wasn't going to get one.

"You know, I do understand what you are going through."

I shifted my eyes to her. _How could she possibly know what I'm going through?_

"When I was a little younger than you, my parents got divorced. It was a couple years later when my Mom started dating someone else. I was so angry with her that she would choose to date over being with me. She got married when I was twelve, and I barely spoke to her throughout my teenage years because I was so mad at her."

"Wait…are you talking about Grandpa Collins?" Aunt Rose had introduced us to her dad—or who I thought was her dad—several times.

"Yes."

"How could you dislike him? He's so awesome! He plays video games, reads Lord of the Rings, watches the Sci Fi channel!" I couldn't believe that Aunt Rose hadn't liked that man; he was so much fun.

"I love him now. It took me years to accept him. I didn't want someone in my life trying to be my father."

"Oh." Honestly, I couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Do you want to talk about Edward now?"

"No, not really."

Aunt Rose sighed and shifted again in the chair. "JJ, I do understand what you are feeling right now, and I'm sure that there is something we can talk about together to help you learn to accept Edward."

"I'll _never_ accept him!" I shouted, standing up from the couch. "He is trying to steal my mother from me, and I will _not_ let him!"

Aunt Rose sighed again.

~~ANB~~

Bella

Unfortunately, JJ's therapy wasn't going well. Rose wouldn't tell me everything that they discussed, but she did say that he wasn't opening up to her. She told me that I should consider taking him to someone else, someone who he didn't know already. That thought had already occurred to me, and Edward, too, but I hadn't found anyone that didn't give me a creepy vibe.

Edward was as sweet as ever. He hadn't disappeared on me again and was back to texting and calling me every day. The only thing that had changed drastically was the tone of our texts and calls. Since I had come back from Seattle, Edward was much more sexy on the phone than he had been. I had never had this kind of relationship before, and I was really enjoying it!

Leah and Emily continued on with their daily routines with no problem. JJ was my only issue. He had taken to staying in his room more often than before, only coming out for meals and to go to school. He never asked to play outside or do anything other than stay in his room and sulk.

The few times I had attempted to talk to him, he had just shut down and asked me to leave his room. After speaking with Rose about it, I understood more about what was going on and how he was feeling. He was missing his dad, thinking that I cared more for Edward than him, and he felt that his position as 'head of the household' was threatened with the introduction of Edward.

I researched all that I could online, talked to Rose many times and spoke with anyone I could about the situation. The overwhelming response from all of these sources was to leave him be and let him feel what he needs to. That eventually he would come around. I hated to leave him alone to deal with all of this by himself, but I didn't see that I had any choice.

After a couple of weeks of getting poor results from Rose meeting with JJ, I decided to give up. I had one final conversation with him, letting him know that I was available if he wanted to talk to me, and I left it at that.

After that conversation with JJ, I called Edward to talk.

"I just felt so useless. This is so frustrating!" I complained, lying back on my bed.

"I'm sorry, love. I talked to my mother about it a little, and she agrees with what everyone else has been saying—just let him deal with it on his own." Edward paused for a minute. "Would it help if I tried to talk to him? It's only a month before we see each other for the Fourth of July. I can try if you want…"

I sighed, thinking for a few moments before I responded. "Well, let's leave him alone for the next month and see how he behaves on the Fourth. If you want to try, that's fine with me."

"Okay, I'll give it a shot. How are you doing otherwise?"

"Fine, busy as usual. Leah continues to test me daily, but Emmy is great. She's my breath of fresh air. She's too young for a large attitude I guess!" I laughed, and Edward joined me.

"She is a cutie. I can't wait to get to know her more. And, Bella, my god does she look like you."

"Yeah, JJ and Leah look so much like their dad. When Emmy came along, I was just happy to have one of them look like me!" I laughed again.

"Well, you ended up with three beautiful children, regardless of who they look like."

"Thank you, Edward, that's very sweet." I sighed and glanced at the clock next to my bed. "It's getting late, I better go to sleep."

"Okay. I'll talk to you later. I love you, Bella. This will all work out, I promise."

"I hope so. And I love you,too."

I hung up the phone and settled into bed. My relationship with Edward was finally going well…I hoped that JJ would come around. And soon.

**A/N: Well, Bella is certainly frustrated. Do you think she's doing the right think with JJ? **


	20. Chapter 19 The Fourth of July, Part 1

**A/N: Hello my friends! Sorry I was late, again. I will try to post the next chapter next week, but I am moving this month. I am finding less and less time to write lately, but hopefully that will be fixed once we are fully in the new place!**

**I skipped a little, wanting to get to the Fourth of July quicker! This is actually the beginning of a three parter for the Fourth of July. I think you will enjoy it!**

**Thanks again to my girls, my betas, my lifelines to the placement of the written word (hehehe, sounds corny, but I couldn't do this without them).**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 19 – The Fourth of July, part 1

"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like."

Lao Tzu

Bella

"Dad? We're here!" I called out, walking in the front door to my father's house in Forks.

We had just gotten to Forks after flying into SeaTac Airport this morning. The last month had gone by too slowly for my taste, but we were finally in Washington for our Fourth of July week.

My dad, Charlie, was possibly the most relaxed, down-to-earth guy I'd ever met. His home was modestly decorated; not too much on the walls, a few pieces of furniture and extremely clean. One time I had actually asked him why he didn't decorate more or get more furniture. His response was exactly why I loved my dad so much.

"_I'm comfortable with what I have. I have all I need. Why spend money on stuff I don't need?" he had said. _My dad was a very smart man.

"Bells!" Charlie exclaimed, coming into the kitchen. He kissed me on my forehead as he ran over to the kids. He picked both the girls up, who started squealing immediately, and then casually did a fist bump with JJ.

The most amazing thing about my dad was that he understood so much more than I could have thought possible. He understood, without being told by me or JJ, that JJ felt he was too old for hugs and kisses, but he also understood that the girls needed it. Charlie never spent more time with one girl over the other.

"Gampa, gampa, gampa!" Emily shrieked. Leah just laughed and JJ rolled his eyes.

"Bells," Charlie said, nodding in my direction. "How was your trip?"

"Meh," I said, sitting down at the familiar, old table in the kitchen. "Emily was a peach, Leah kept wanting to run up and down the aisles of the plane, and JJ ignored the rest of us. It was a good time. How are you?"

"Good, good. Was thinking about heading out to the diner tonight. Unless you miss your old dad's cooking?" His eyes twinkled at the mention of his cooking, and I did everything I could to not shudder.

"Well, we can try going out. I'm not sure how the kids are going to be since they've been cooped up for a while. First in a plane and then in the car ride down here."

"Hmm. Are you three feeling cooped up?" Charlie asked the kids.

"Cooped up!" Emily shouted.

"Well then, let's get you guys outside so you can run around," he said, turning on his heel, still holding both girls, and ran outside. I heard shouts of happiness from the girls, so I decided to let my dad have a few moments alone with the kids.

"I'm going upstairs to lie down," JJ said, standing up. He grabbed his bag and walked upstairs without another word.

I almost followed him, but I was trying to give him his space, so instead I went and lounged in my dad's favorite recliner. It was the chair I had loved when I was little, before he and my mom had split up. I used to sit on my dad's lap while we watched TV…this house really held a lot of memories for me.

My pocket vibrated.

**E: You make it to Forks?**

**B: Ya, just a few minutes ago. You?**

Edward was supposed to be coming into Forks today as well and staying with his parents for the week. I was excited and hopeful that I would be able to sneak away to see him while we were here. But between the kids…and not wanting to involve my dad too much in my relationship, I honestly didn't see that happening.

**E: Not yet. Delayed at work…forgot to get a sitter…left the cat outside…**

_Huh?_ I stood up, extremely confused, as I realized that Charlie's voice wasn't the only one I was hearing outside. Edward was chatting with Charlie and had Emily on his shoulders. He glanced up and winked at me before turning back to my dad. Quickly, I ran outside.

"Edward," I said breathlessly. "I thought I wouldn't see you until tomorrow?"

"I got off early today, so I decided to come over," Edward said, swinging his shoulders so Emily was going side to side. She laughed and clapped her hands.

"Edward just invited us over to his parents' house tonight for dinner," Charlie said while tickling Leah.

"That's really generous, Edward, but I'm not sure if that's a good idea. I mean, we just got into town and I'm sure the kids want to spend time with their grandfather." Mostly, I was nervous about JJ's reaction.

"Bells, it's fine. I think a home cooked meal would be great. What time should we be there?" Charlie directed his question to Edward, and apparently was keeping me out of the decision. For a moment, I looked between the two and wondered if I was being set up.

"Any time after five is good. Mom will serve dinner around six."

"Great! We'll be there," Charlie said, running after Leah around the side of the house.

Edward walked up to me and touched the side of my face. "You okay, beautiful?"

"You called Mama beautiful!" Emily squealed.

I smiled at the two of them and nodded. "I'm great. I guess I should go up and break the news to JJ?"

He smiled at me and pulled Emily off his shoulders. "I'll go talk to him. He in your old room?"

"Yeah."

Edward took off inside, while I stayed with Emily. For a moment, I thought about going with him, but I knew that Edward wanted to try and connect with JJ and I would only get in the way.

_I guess I'll just have to eagerly await an update on that situation…_

Edward

I was very apprehensive as I walked up the stairs to Bella's old bedroom. JJ had been on my mind for a while now, knowing that he had been going to therapy and trying to come to terms with me dating his mother. I had spoken to my mother at great length about the situation, and I was going to try and apply some of her suggestions to this conversation.

I knocked loudly. When JJ didn't reply, I opened the door slowly and saw him sitting on the bed glaring at me.

"What are you doing here?" JJ's tone was filled with contempt and malice.

Attempting to ignore that, I walked up to him slowly. "Hey, buddy, how are you?"

He grunted, but didn't respond.

"My parents have invited all of you over for dinner tonight, and I wanted to make sure that you were okay with that."

"And if I'm not?"

"Then you don't have to go. I won't force you to come with us, and I'll make sure that you get something to eat. I want to give you the choice to come."

"Why would I want to come?"

"Well, I wanted to introduce you to my parents and their dog Evvy." As I thought, his eyes lit up when I mentioned the dog. Bella had told me that JJ kept asking for a dog, but she just hadn't gotten around to it yet.

"They have a dog?"

"Yep. She's a Jack Russell Terrier, and full of energy. I thought you would love her. My parents don't get to play with her much anymore, and my mom was hoping you could play with her for a while. She could really use the exercise."

JJ looked at me, which seemed to be a measuring look—trying to see if I was trying to trick him. But, he nodded and almost smiled. "I'll come to play with the dog, but that doesn't mean I like you."

I sat on the edge of the bed, far enough away from him so that I didn't make him uncomfortable. "JJ, I know you don't like me very much, but I hope someday you change your mind. I would really like to get to know you better. In fact, if you want, my dad and I are going fishing tomorrow morning. I was going to ask your grandfather if he wanted to come, and we would love you to come with us, too."

His eyes dropped as he thought about my offer. "Yeah, I love fishing with Grandpa. I suppose I could go fishing with you guys."

Knowing how much it must have cost him to accept, I decided that I had done enough for one day. "Great, thanks! We'll be leaving in about an hour to go to my parents' house. I guess I'll see you there."

JJ didn't say anything, so I left the room quietly. As I had suspected, Bella was waiting for me at the base of the stairway.

"How did it go?" she asked, eyes full of concern.

"It was great. All is set for dinner tonight, and I'm taking him and possibly your dad fishing tomorrow morning."

"Seriously?" Her eyes were wide.

"Seriously."

"Damn! Are you a miracle worker? How did you manage that?"

I leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I just appealed to the boy in him."

**A/N: Just as a reminder, the JJ issue was taken directly out of a friend's experiences. Not all children will behave this way, some will be much better or much worse. **

**Anyway, we have some progress here. Sorry for the short chapter, but it was the only logical stopping point.**

**Again, I will try to get the next chapter out next week, but with moving and packing a family of 6 that may not happen. Have a wonderful June, my friends!**


	21. Chapter 20 - The Fourth of July, Part 2

**A/N: Hello again! Here is the second part to the two families meeting up at the Fourth of July. I won't waste time on this, but I do want to say thank you for being so patient with me. I hope to get back to my weekly postings now. My move is done; now bring on the unpacking and organization! Haha!**

**Thanks to my girls for being patient with me also! Torisurfergirl and starpower31; you two are awesome!**

Chapter 20 – The Fourth of July, Part 2

"To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe."

Anatole France

Edward

_This is going surprisingly well._

As I had promised, my dad, Charlie, JJ and I were all out fishing. Charlie had eagerly agreed to come with us since my father's boat was much bigger than he was used to. Bella had clued me in about Charlie's fishing obsession and that JJ liked to go with him, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to get to know them both better.

Esme had loved all of them immediately; the children had seemed to love her right back. My mother had introduced JJ to Evvy, their dog, and they had played until Bella forced JJ away to come to dinner. JJ had actually sat down at the table with a huge smile.

"Did you have fun playing with Evvy, JJ?" my mother had asked.

JJ had smiled even bigger at her and nodded enthusiastically. "She is such a sweet dog! She plays catch really good, and she licked me all over my face!"

"Gross, JJ! Go wash your hands and face before you eat dinner!" Bella had cried from the kitchen. Glancing at JJ, I'd winked at him as he got up to go wash. He had smiled hesitantly at me and had ran off.

The dinner had been lively, all of us talking to each other and about five different topics. My mother chose to sit next to Bella's daughters, and she helped them both when they needed it. It was clear that my mother hadn't been joking when she told me she desperately wanted grandchildren. Bella's daughters looked at Esme like she had hung the moon, and she was just as enamored with them.

JJ had been quiet through dinner, but not as quiet as I'd feared he would be. He did respond when someone asked him something, and once he even asked me a question. I don't know who had been more surprised by that, me or Bella.

"So, Edward," JJ had begun, swallowing a bite of his roll. "What time are we going tomorrow?"

"Well, I was thinking we could come pick you and Charlie up around 6AM. That sound okay?" I asked him, ignoring my surprise.

"Cool."

Right after they'd left, my mother had cornered me and, against my better judgment, I'd allowed her to give me her grandmother's ring. I knew that Bella wasn't ready to get married again, but my mother kept pushing that someday she would be ready and I might as well be ready to ask her. Plus, she was in love with Bella's children and saw this as her best chance at getting grandchildren fast.

So, there I sat, my dad on one side of me and Charlie on the other, with the damn ring burning a hole in my pocket. JJ was sitting across from me, ignoring me as much as possible, but he did seem to be enjoying himself. Charlie and my dad had known each other for years, so they chatted nicely. Every now and then JJ would comment on their conversation; I tried to stay quiet and leave them to talk.

"So, JJ, Bella tells me that you are going into sixth grade next fall?" my dad asked, turning his attention to the quiet boy.

"Yeah."

"Are you excited?"

"I guess so."

"Did you know in sixth grade is when they usually start doing the frog dissections?" I asked him, grinning. JJ looked at me with a surprised look, but he gradually returned my smile.

"Really?"

"That's what I understand. I was about that age when we did that in school."

JJ actually looked happy, but what little boy doesn't want to play scientist at least once in his life? While I was congratulating myself for a successful conversation with JJ, however short it might have been, my father started steering the boat toward the shore. I glanced at the sky and was surprised to see that it was late afternoon already.

We pulled up to the dock and began unloading. I noticed JJ standing near the doorway not doing anything. "Hey, JJ, do you want to help take the fish up to the car? This ice chest is a little heavy…"

"Sure." His eyes lit up as he grabbed one side of the ice chest.

"Did you have a good time?"

"Yeah, I did. Um…" I glanced over at JJ; his ears were turning a little red. "Thanks for inviting me."

I stopped for just a moment to smile down at the boy. "You are very welcome."

~~ANB~~

Bella

I was so nervous while the boys were gone that I could hardly pay attention to anything. Esme had decided to take the girls outside and play, so I was inside attempting to read a book. Unfortunately, my mind kept wandering to Edward and JJ out on a boat together.

_What if JJ is really mean and throws something overboard? What if it's something that Edward or Carlisle really like?_

I just couldn't read, so I finally put the book down and wandered outside. Esme was a natural with the girls. She was playing hide and seek with them, and the girls were thoroughly enjoying themselves. Emily was running around trying to find a place to hide, giggling so hard it was easy to track her movements. Leah was very serious about hiding and had found a large potted plant to hide behind, being very quiet. Esme was counting, and she gave Emily just enough time to find a place to hide before she opened her eyes.

"Ready or not, here I come!" she called out, beginning to search.

Emily couldn't contain her excitement and ran out of her hiding place to tackle Esme from behind. I winced as they fell to the ground, hoping that Esme hadn't hurt herself, but when she laughed and started tickling Emily I knew all was well.

"Bells?" my dad called from inside the house. Quickly, I ran inside, fearful of what I was going to see, but I walked in to Edward, Charlie and JJ all laughing about something.

"Hi, Mom."

"Hi, JJ. Did you have fun?"

"Yeah, it was cool."

_High praise from the eleven-year-old._ "Did you guys catch anything?"

Edward came over to stand next to me, but Charlie was the one who answered. "Oh, yes. We'll have fish for dinner tonight."

Charlie and JJ started taking their catch into the kitchen, so Edward and I made our way into the living room. We sat down on the couch, and I turned expectantly to him.

"How did it go? Really?"

Edward shrugged and smiled. "It was pretty good, actually. JJ seemed to have a lot of fun."

"And you didn't have any problems?"

He smiled again and kissed me lightly on the forehead. "No, beautiful. No problems. We had a very nice time."

I exhaled the breath that I swear I had been holding since they had left this morning. Before I could ask about it further, JJ walked into the living room.

"Edward, Grandpa wants to know if you want to help us make dinner," he asked, without his normal snotty tone.

"Sure, kid, I'd love to." Edward got up and wandered into the kitchen.

JJ lingered a little, watching Edward leave the room. "Mom?"

"Yeah?" He shuffled his feet a little, and his ears turned red. I recognized that behavior as JJ feeling guilty about something. "What is it, honey?"

"Um, Edward's…well…he's kind of cool."

As shock rolled over me, JJ turned on his heel and walked back into the kitchen. I didn't have time to quite digest what he had said because Carlisle came in at that moment, followed by Esme and the girls.

"Go on, girls, dinner will be ready soon," Esme said, shooing the girls upstairs.

Carlisle smiled at me and walked into the kitchen, leaving Esme and I alone.

"How are you doing, dear?" she asked, sitting down next to me on the couch.

"I'm a little shocked."

"Why?"

"JJ just came up to me and told me that 'Edward is cool.'" I shook my head and looked at her. "That is very strange coming out of his mouth."

"He's young, and he's learning to adapt. Before, he thought Edward was this person he didn't really know who was trying to steal his mom away from him. Now, he's the cool guy who took him fishing," Esme said, shrugging. "I encouraged Edward to get to know him, outside of his relationship with you. Sometimes, that's all little boys need."

I shook my head and stared at her. "How did you get so smart?"

Esme laughed and reached out for my hand. "Someday I'll tell you. In the meantime, let's go make sure the boys don't burn our meal."

She and I stood up and made our way into the kitchen. She placed her arm around my shoulders as we stood watching the boys cleaning the fish. I felt a surge of emotion toward Esme, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I had a mother again.

**A/N: So, what do you think? Is there hope for JJ?**


	22. Chapter 21 - The Fourth of July, Part 3

**A/N: Hello, my friends! As promised, I was able to post the new chapter in a week! I think that you will all LOVE this chapter…not just for the 'fireworks,' but also for the ending.**

**Thanks to my wonderful betas, with whom I couldn't get you all this story.**

**Read on!**

Chapter 21 – The Fourth of July, Part 3

"Grief knits two hearts in closer bonds than happiness ever can; and common sufferings are far stronger links than common joys."

Alphonse de Lamartine

Bella

_Bang!_

_Crash!_

_Boom!_

The fireworks display was in full array. My children _oohed_ and _ahhed_ at each one of them. Edward and his family had offered their backyard to us for the day since it was so close to the park area where the fireworks were set off. The day had gone off without a hitch so far. We had BBQed, let the children play in the sprinklers, and Esme and Carlisle had even taken the girls to the park to play for a while.

That had been fun for me because Charlie had taken JJ to the store as well, so Edward and I got a few minutes alone together. One look from him and we were running into the bathroom together, determined to have one passion filled moment.

Edward locked the door and I unbuttoned my jeans, letting them slide to the floor. He pulled out a condom, and with an apologetic look, he slammed his mouth into mine.

"What's wrong?" I breathed, in response to his strange look.

"We have to make this fast, beautiful. They could be home any minute now," he said, breathlessly, kissing down the side of my neck. "I wish we had more time…"

"It's fine, fast can be good."

His muffled laugh was all I heard, because he had found me, slamming into me. True to his word, Edward was making this very fast. He continued to slam into me, quicker and quicker. I had to reach out and grab onto the soap dispenser on the counter so it wouldn't fall over.

His lips found mine urgently while he continued to push faster and faster. I felt myself building when he shuddered and stopped moving. The disappointment didn't last long, because Edward lowered his mouth to my center and began sucking on my clit. Before long I was the one shuddering.

Edward grabbed a towel and handed it to me to clean off, as he brought his lips back to mine. "I'm sorry that had to be so fast, beautiful. But, I knew that we would be interrupted too soon."

I kissed him back and put my arms around his shoulders. "I'm just glad we got to do this at least once. I missed you."

Edward stepped back and studied me for a moment. "I think we should talk about something."

The tone in his voice made me stop and look up. I pulled my jeans back on while I tried to assess his face. "Is something wrong?"

He smiled. "Not really, but I do think we should discuss something." He turned, put the lid down on the toilet, sat down and looked at me with hesitant eyes. "I put in a transfer at work. I've been feeling guilty about it because I didn't discuss it with you first, but I need to tell you now because right before I left for Forks, I was accepted."

My heart constricted a little. "Where will you be going, then?"

"Carson City."

"What!?" My heart started beating furiously at hearing this. I stepped closer to him, sat down on his lap and put my arms around him again. "Are you serious?"

"I know that it's too soon…"

"No! I mean, it is a little too soon, but I can't believe that you are going to be so close! For one irrational moment, I thought you were moving to New York or something!"

He shook his head and smiled at me. "No, beautiful. Closer to you, not farther away. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not asking to move in with you and the kids. I have a house that I'm renting in South Reno, and I will commute to Carson City for work."

"Why? I mean, why did you do this? I want you near me, but I would have never asked you to move your life from Washington to Nevada."

He shrugged and stood up, circling his arms around me. "I had a long conversation with my mother. She told me a few things to help with JJ, but she encouraged me to do this. She said that I needed to be closer to you and the kids so that I could start building relationships. Something about forcing the kids to see me as a part of their life rather than someone they only see now and then."

"Your mom is a very smart lady." I sighed and sunk into him a little more. "Come around often enough and they'll start getting used to your presence or something, huh?"

"Yeah, that's what she thought. Obviously, she and my dad are sorry to see me move, but they want what's best for me." He pulled back slightly and stared into my eyes. "Are you okay with this?"

"Definitely."

Shortly after that, my dad and JJ came home and we had to separate like nothing had happened. Now, Edward held my hand while we watched the fireworks display. Emily was on his lap, and Leah was on mine. JJ chose to sit next to Carlisle and Charlie rather than next to me, but he had a smile on his face so I decided not to push it.

The girls were unusually quiet as they watched the fireworks. Emily had settled into Edward, leaning her head on his shoulder. I caught Edward's eye, and he brought his finger up to his mouth. "She's asleep," he whispered.

I sat up a little, maneuvering Leah so I could see Emily's face. Sure enough, her breathing was even and her eyes were closed. Silently chuckling, I shook my head. "She has always been able to sleep through anything, no matter how loud. I think it comes from sharing a room with _this_ one," I whispered back, tickling Leah at the same time.

Once the fireworks show was over, we all made our way back inside. Edward set Emily down carefully on the couch and began bringing in the extra chairs that we had taken outside. JJ stood off to the side, watching Edward for a moment before he started helping. Edward smiled at JJ, who smiled back, and they continued to work.

Charlie and Carlisle started taking our stuff outside and putting it into my rental car, with a little help from Leah. I stood off to the side, staying out of the way, and observed the silent interaction. Esme walked up and put her arm around my shoulders.

"Edward told you?"

"About him moving? Yes he did."

"Are you okay with that?"

Turning to face her, I said, keeping my voice low, "Oh yes. I think your idea is great! The kids are bound to get used to him if he's around more…" I studied her for a moment. "I don't want you to think that we are going to get married right away or anything. We have a lot to do before we can take that step."

Esme smiled and shook her head. "I'm not counting on you two getting married anytime in the next year. But, after that…" Her eyes twinkled. "Eventually, I'm hoping that I can lay at least some claim on your children. I love them already!"

As if somehow hearing Esme's comment, Emily woke up a little and reached out to the older woman. "Gamma Ezzay?" Esme made her way over to Emily and picked her up. Emily snuggled into Esme, popped her thumb in her mouth, and settled into Esme's arms.

"I think they love you already," I said, chuckling. "When did she start calling you that?"

Esme smiled and sat down on the couch. "Yesterday when we were at the store. Leah asked me if I had any grandchildren, and I said no, not yet. So, Leah said that she would start calling me Grandma Esme if I wanted, since we were such good friends," she said, laughing a little. "Of course, Emily started saying it as well."

"And JJ?"

"He hasn't heard it yet, as far as I know."

"Hmm. I wonder if he will have a problem with it."

"It's okay if he never calls me that. I know that you and Edward will end up together eventually, but if JJ never accepts me in that role, I will just have to find one that he will accept." Her face grew serious as she looked up at me. "JJ is older, and because of that, it will be harder on him to accept any changes. I will never push him, and neither will Carlisle. However, JJ seems to already like him a great deal."

I sat down on the couch next to her, careful to not wake Emily up. "JJ seems to gravitate toward men, other than Edward of course. My friends Rose and Emmett come over quite a bit, and JJ hovers around Emmett a lot."

Esme nodded. "Yes, that's normal. He wants to replace the male influence in his life, without replacing his father. That's why Edward poses a threat to him. I'm hoping after they spend more time together, he will start seeing Edward as a male influence rather than competition for his father's memory."

"I hope that works. I'm more worried about that than anything at this point."

"I can understand that." She reached over to pat my hand. "It will all work out. Trust me."

"Bells?" Charlie said, walking into the house. "We are all ready to go."

"Okay, Dad, let me go get JJ." I stood up and walked outside. Edward and JJ were standing on the patio, staring up at the sky, chatting.

"So, you are moving?" JJ asked.

"Yes, at the end of the month. What do you think about that?"

JJ was silent for a moment. "Will we be able to go fishing?"

Edward laughed. "Definitely, kid. I will take you fishing whenever we have time."

"And you'll be around a lot?"

"Only when your mom wants me around. I will not be living with you guys, just close enough to visit more often, that's all. What do you think?"

JJ shrugged. "I guess that's okay." He looked up at Edward. "Mom seems happy when you are around. She's been sad for so long…I guess it's cool if you are around more often." JJ suddenly broke out into a huge grin. "Maybe she'll buy me more things if she's happy!"

Edward laughed and slapped JJ's back lightly. "I can't promise that, kid, but I think it will be good all around. She makes me happy, too."

JJ thought about that for a moment before responding. "I guess it's cool then."

"Good. You'll see me in about a month then. Now, let's get going. I think it's time for you to go home."

I slipped inside before they could turn around to see me in the doorway. A silent tear rolled down my cheek. They _were_ bonding and improving their relationship. _Maybe this _will_ work out after all!_

**A/N: So, surprised? No? You all are so smart! You KNEW where I was going with this! Love my readers!**


	23. Chapter 22 - Moving Back into Reality

**A/N: Welcome back! The Fourth of July just seemed to stretch out for weeks, huh? Hehehe!**

**Anyway, back to real life here. Thanks to my beta's for helping me, as always, starpower31 and torisurfergirl.**

**Enjoy! See me at the bottom!**

Chapter 22 – Moving Back Into Reality

"Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls."

Khalil Gibran

Edward

"I swear to God, if you break my piano I will cheerfully kill you!" I roared at the movers. Not for the first time, I had to take a beat, count to ten, and try not to kill them. The two morons were slightly older than high school age, but not quite drinking age, and thought they owned the world. They were careless with my things, and for the fifth time or so I thought about calling the moving company and complaining.

The good news was that these two fools were only helping to load. A different person was driving the moving van, and a new set of idiots were going to help me unload. With any luck, the people unloading would be more careful. I was carefully watching the moron twins load my stuff into the van so I could tell if they were doing something wrong. Most of the stuff was already on its way to Nevada, but I was collecting the items from my parents' house that was going with me.

The piano was a source of great pride for me. My parents had bought it for me years ago, but I had never had the room to display it. Instead, we compromised that I would keep it at their house, and I would just come over and play it for them as often as I could. I think my mother was secretly unhappy to see it go, but she was so supportive of the move in general that she would have never said anything.

"Sorry, sir," Moron number one said, reaching out to steady the piano. He smirked at me, and I had to take that beat again, count to ten again, before bashing in his smug, acne covered face.

"Edward?" my mother said, walking up behind me. "Take a break, sweetheart. They are almost done and will be heading out soon. Come and sit with me for a few minutes."

Shrugging, I followed her to the back patio. She had iced tea waiting for us, so I took a glass and sat back in the chair. Directing these movers was making me extremely tired. They tried my patience…

"What's going on with you? You are hardly ever angry in general, but shouting at people that you will 'cheerfully kill' them? What's going on?"

I shook my head, continuing to calm myself down. "I'm sorry about that, Mom. These guys are idiots and have been pushing me all day. Do you know that they tried to take my glass lamp down without wrapping it? I had a ten minute fight with them about why they needed to protect it from breaking. I swear, these guys are morons."

"They might be, but is that any reason for you to threaten them?"

"No, I guess not."

"What's really going on, Edward?"

"I guess I'm just nervous. Moving closer to Bella, to a state I've hardly ever been to and don't know very well…I don't know, it's kind of terrifying, you know? Like, what if I'm making the wrong choice?" I sighed and set my head in my hands. "Then I feel guilty for even thinking like that."

"I think it's perfectly normal. And, I'd be willing to bet that Bella would think that also. You are uprooting your entire life for her and the children." My mother shuffled a little in her chair. I sat up and looked at her. "I don't mind telling you that Bella was extremely nervous also. She called me the other day asking if she should have discouraged you in moving."

"What? She doesn't want me there?" Embarrassment or guilt—some feeling I didn't recognize—coursed through me, heating my face. "And this is how she tells me?"

"Calm down, Edward. I swear I'll put you in the corner like I did when you were younger. Acting before thinking," she muttered to herself. "No, Bella _does_ want you there, but she thinks that she is being selfish in making you change your entire life for her. I told her that was crazy because you had chosen to do this, but her guilt is there, nevertheless."

I sat back, defeated. "What do I do about that?"

"Reassure her. Tell her you want to go…that you were getting bored in Seattle. Whatever it is, make sure it's the truth. A lie would only hurt the situation."

"But, she still does want me, right?"

Mom laughed and reached over to hug me. "Just like your father, sometimes you can be so dense. I love you, sweetheart. Now, hurry up and get your things so we can have our one last dinner together before you move."

~~ANB~~

Bella

As the date of Edward's move got closer, my anxiety level grew. Initially, I'd been excited about it. But, by the time the kids and I got home from the Fourth of July trip, I was starting to have doubts. No doubts having to do with Edward and I, but doubts about him moving so soon. I talked to Rose about it, and Charlie and Esme…the one person I was afraid to say anything to was Edward.

"I don't understand why you don't just talk to him," Rose said to me one night after I had complained to her for over an hour about my worries. "Seriously, Bella, you worry about way too much. Just be excited that your boyfriend is moving to be closer to you."

"Rose, what if he regrets it? It is awfully soon for him to be moving for this whole relationship thing. We've only been back in contact for seven months or so!"

"Bella, did you force this decision on him?"

"No, of course not—"

"Did you tell him that one of you _had_ to move soon?"

"No, I—"

"Then stop worrying about it! If things are meant to be, then it _will_ all work out. If this ruins your relationship, then it was going to get ruined somehow anyway."

I sighed and leaned forward on the bed, lying down on my stomach. "That's not very comforting, Rose."

"It should be."

"Huh?"

"If you are comfortable with the relationship, then it should be comforting. You should be happy knowing that you two are moving in the right direction and letting your relationship grow into something more. That should be extremely comforting."

We got off the phone soon after that, and I allowed myself to think about what she had said. I had always overthought everything in my life, maybe that's all I was doing now?

Anxiously, I started pacing in my room. It was late, all three kids were in bed, and it was the night before Edward was flying here to meet up with his moving van. My thoughts were chaotic…and I was trying to figure out exactly what I was doing and why I hadn't talked to Edward.

**E: Well, beautiful, I am coming to you tomorrow. Can't wait to see you!**

I smiled, despite my worries.

**B: Can't wait to see you either.**

**E: Still worried?**

Now, that shocked me. Had Esme revealed all of my worries to him?

Instead of texting back, I decided to call him.

"Hello, beautiful," Edward said, answering on the second ring.

"Why would you say I was worried?"

"Two reasons. I know how your brain works, and my mother mentioned that you felt guilty."

"Oh," was all I could say.

"Bella, listen to me. In _no way_ did you pressure me into this. I applied for a position in our Carson City branch, it's quite a promotion for me, actually, and I got it. This is a move up in my career, and it's a bonus because I'm going to be living near you."

"B-b-but, you never told me that!"

"About the promotion?"

"Yeah!"

"I didn't think about it. I took it for granted that you would just be happy and not consumed with worry."

Now I felt like an ass. I hadn't discussed it with him, like an idiot, and had made my own assumptions. "I don't know what to say…I feel like an idiot."

"Bella, I understand why you feel this way." He sighed before continuing, "I just wish you had talked to me about it."

"Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry. I'm so used to internalizing everything and talking to my friends about my problems…"

He was quiet for a moment. "I'm not Jacob, Bella."

Heat flushed my face. He was right; I was treating the situation like he was Jake. "I know you aren't. I just can't apologize enough. You are absolutely right. I wasn't thinking about things like I should have been."

"Tomorrow I will be there, and we can talk about this more. I just want you to hear me now. I am _not_ Jacob. I will not just choose a path for you. If our relationship doesn't work out because I moved, then I will be heartbroken, but I will know that we had at least tried. I know that we haven't been back in contact for that long, but I took an opportunity to try. I didn't know if I would get this promotion, and I didn't know if you would be happy about me moving. But, I had to try. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I whispered, feeling like a complete idiot.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you. So much more than when we were in high school, and so much more than I ever thought possible. I love your kids, too"—I started crying—"and I want to make this work. But, I will _never_ pressure you. Okay?"

I sniffed, unable to respond. I was the jackass here…and I could have ruined everything.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, or us. Everything will work out in the right way. I promise," Edward whispered, somehow knowing that I was internalizing all of the guilt. "I love you, beautiful. I always will."

Again, I couldn't respond. I just lay down on my bed, crying softly.

"Bella, talk to me. What are you thinking?"

I sniffed and tried to put into words what I was feeling. "I-I just feel like an idiot. I almost ruined everything because I didn't talk to you about what I was feeling."

"You didn't ruin anything. Bella, there is a normal give and take in any relationship, and that's what we need to achieve. We almost lost everything because of how I behaved with Tonya, because I didn't talk to you about it. We both need to understand that if we don't communicate, then we might ruin it."

"I'm sorry…"

"I don't want an apology, sweetheart. I want you to hear what I'm saying and understand that we need to talk about these kinds of things. We both need to be better about that."

"Okay."

"I love you, Bella. I really do."

"I love you, too, Edward. I promise to try and be better about talking to you."

"Good! Then we will be just fine." Edward was quiet for a moment. "I'm coming to you tomorrow, beautiful. How about I take the five of us out to dinner?"

"Actually, I promised Rose and Emmett that we would have them over for dinner tomorrow night. Is that all right with you?"

"Um, these were Jacob's friends, right?"

"Yes, but they have been very supportive of our relationship. Do you want me to cancel?"

"No, no, that's fine," Edward said in a rushed voice. "I should probably get some sleep, I have to leave for the airport pretty early tomorrow."

"Okay, the kids and I will pick you up from the airport tomorrow afternoon. I love you, and I'm sorry for not talking to you."

"That's all right, beautiful. I'll see you tomorrow. And, I love you, too."

**A/N: Okay, so some of you might be wondering why I added this roadblock in for them. The reasoning is very simple; I wanted to remind those of you who struggle with silly mistakes like this one that you are human. EVERYONE makes mistakes, including a heroine from a fan fiction story and the person who wrote it :)**

**There are a lot of emotions in my story, and a lot of therapy. This is the reason I write, to get out on paper what I can't articulate as well in oral form. I hope that makes sense.**

**Back to the weekly postings now, so I will see you all next week!**


	24. Chapter 23 - Meet the 'Parents'

**A/N: Well, you were all eager for this chapter, weren't you? Yes, I will not make you wait, Edward will meet Rose and Emmett in this chapter. Good times!**

**Thanks again to my girls, torisurfergirl and starpower31 for helping me so much with this story!**

Chapter 23 – Meet the 'Parents'

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed."

Carl Jung

Bella

I could tell that Edward was nervous about meeting Rose and Emmett, but he was hiding it well. The kids and I had picked him up from the airport and were headed back to my house. Edward looked positively green by the time we got there. He had barely set his luggage down by the door when Leah and Emily drug him off to their room to show him their toys. I almost rescued him, but decided that the girls could be a good distraction.

JJ helped me with dinner for a while before wandering off. I assumed that it was his age—wanting to help but getting bored and not caring after a while. I shrugged it off and continued cooking.

By the time the lasagna was in the oven, the girls had released their hold on Edward and he walked into the kitchen.

"Bella, you make too much money," Edward said casually, leaning against the counter.

My head snapped up and I looked at him. "Why do you say that?"

"Those girls have entirely too many toys." He grinned at me. Pushing away from the counter, he made his way over to me and circled his arms around me. "How are you doing, beautiful?"

I wound my arms around him, savoring the smell of cinnamon that always seemed to surround him. "A little nervous, I guess, but okay. How are you? You have seemed more than a little nervous since you got here."

"I'm all right. These were Jacob's friends, so I guess I'm afraid that they won't like me and you'll send me packing."

I leaned back so I could look into his beautiful, green eyes. "Even if they hated you and demanded that I leave you, I wouldn't. But, the fact is, they are going to love you just as much as I do."

"Well, I hope they don't love me _quite_ like you do," he said, an impish grin on his face. His hands slid up to my face, cupping my cheeks. "They are your friends, and their opinion does matter, my beautiful Bella. I want them to like me, I do, but honestly as long as _you_ still like me, I'm fine."

I got lost in his eyes for a moment, and the outpouring of love that was emanating from them. "I love you more with every passing day."

His smile made my heart glow. "I couldn't have put it better if I had said it myself. I love you, too, my Bella."

Just as his lips met mine, the doorbell rang. Leah and Emily, knowing that Rose and Emmett were coming over, raced to the door and flung it open.

"Auntie Rosie! Uncle Emmy!" Emily cried, jumping into Emmett's outstretched arms.

"Hi, Rose! Hi, Emmett!" Leah said, rushing into Rose's arms.

"There's my Emmy!" Emmett said, throwing Emily up in the air. "Have you made any trouble since I was here last?"

Emily shook her head soberly. "I been good, Uncle Emmy. I pwromise!"

"You didn't mess up your room and forget to clean it up?"

"No way. I been good!" Emily protested.

Emmett thought for a minute before responding, "Did you forget to brush your teeth?"

Emily hung her head in mock shame. "Yeah. I forgot yesterday."

Emmett, finally getting what he wanted, set Emily down and proceeded to tickle her on her stomach. "I told you I would get you if you forgot to brush your teeth!"

Edward and I stood in the dining room just watching the exchange. Rose had taken Leah to the living room and they were chatting, completely ignoring Emmett and Emily's game. But, Edward couldn't take his eyes off of them.

"He's very good with her," Edward whispered to me.

"That's because he's approximately the same age as her," Rose said, standing up from the couch. "Hi, I'm Rosalie McCartey. You must be Edward? It's nice to finally meet you."

Edward stuck his hand out to shake Rose's and took a step forward. "Hi, Rosalie. Yes, I'm Edward. It's nice to meet you, too."

Rose stared at him for a minute, and I knew that face. She was sizing him up as only a psychiatrist could. With a soft chuckle, I thought about what she could possibly be thinking right now, and if I was going to hear it later.

"Edward, I'm Emmett, Rose's husband." Emmett stood up, disentangled himself from Emily, and shook Edward's hand. The men stood face to face, Edward looking slightly up at Emmett. They didn't say anything for a while, but they appeared to be having a silent conversation. I shot Rose a look of mild panic, but she just smiled. After a minute or so, Emmett smiled at Edward. "Welcome to Nevada."

"Thanks, man. I have to admit, it's a lot dryer here than I remembered. I swear I'm going to have to go shopping for lotion before I go to my hotel," Edward said, laughing slightly.

Emmett joined him. "Well, if you want, I have this wonderful herbalist that makes the best lotion in the world. I could get you an appointment…you could get your hair and nails done in the same place!" Emmett and Edward burst out laughing, and I found myself rolling my eyes toward Rose, and walked back into the kitchen.

Rose followed me and started helping to chop the vegetables for the salad. "Bella, holy crap," she whispered, once we were alone. "He's fucking beautiful."

"Isn't he?" I replied, a little smug. I listened for a moment to make sure the men were occupied, and I could hear them discussing some sports team and assumed it was safe. "What did you get from him? I saw you sizing him up earlier."

"Oh, nothing," she said, flipping her long blond hair behind her shoulder. "I just wanted to see if he flinched when I looked at him like a doctor. Some men are very uncomfortable with that, and that says a lot about his character. He didn't flinch and didn't look away. He's okay by me."

I laughed and threw a piece of lettuce at her. "Because he didn't look away, I have your seal of approval? Damn, I could have gone to medical school! If that's all they teach you, I would have passed no problem!"

Rose and I were both laughing by the time Emmett and Edward walked into the kitchen. Emmett looked around and seemed disappointed that all he saw was salad.

"Bells, tell me there's something more than rabbit food. I'm starving over here!"

"Emmett, you are _always_ starving. And yes, there's lasagna in the oven."

"Thank goodness! I thought I was going to have to make an emergency McDonald's trip or something."

"Emergency McDonald's trip?" Edward asked, resuming his spot where he had leaned against the counter earlier. "I'm almost afraid to ask. Rosalie, how many 'emergency' McDonald's trips does this man do on a daily basis?" Edward asked, using air quotations for the word emergency.

Rose laughed and wiped her eye. "First of all, call me Rose, everyone does. Second of all, Emmett doesn't appear to ever get full, so I would say that approximately half our food budget for the month goes to McDonald's."

Edward and Emmett started up a silly conversation about what the best burger McDonald's had, and Rose and I continued to get the food ready. By the time dinner was on the table, they seemed like long lost friends. Rose smiled at me and I smiled back. _This is going really well._

Dinner was almost chaotic; there were at least three different conversations going at once. JJ had sat next to Emmett, and Edward was on the other side of him, so the three of them were discussing fishing locations in the Reno/Sparks area. Leah and Rose were chatting about some new boy band that Leah loved, and Emily and I were having a very cute conversation about cats.

The whole evening went very well; despite my reservations about the situation, Edward seemed to get along great with Rose and Emmett. Pretty soon, it was time to put the girls to bed and Emily had insisted that Edward tuck her in. Rose and Emmett both smiled at that as Edward and I took the girls to bed.

JJ left to go to his room, and presumably his Xbox, and the four of us adults sat down in the living room with a bottle of wine.

"So, Edward, when do you start your new job?" Rose asked, pouring herself and Emmett a glass of wine.

"Next week."

"Are you excited?"

"Terrified would be a better word." Edward poured himself and I a glass also and leaned back in the chair. "It's a totally different world in this department, and I'll have eleven people reporting to me. I've never managed more than one or two people at a time, so I'm completely terrified about it."

"Eh, you'll do fine! Just beat them once a day and show 'em who's boss. That'll learn them!" Emmett said, taking a sip. I cringed at his horrible grammar, but I knew he was just trying to be funny.

"Beating is acceptable here?" Edward asked with a smirk.

"Everything is legal in Nevada!" Emmett howled with laughter, almost spitting out his wine.

"Edward, now that you are here, what are your plans?" Rose asked quietly, when the men had stopped laughing. Leave it to Rose to bring the conversation to the serious side.

Edward smiled at her and put his arm around me. "Eventually, I plan on becoming part of the family. I want to be with Bella…to marry her as soon as she'll let me. But, I understand that I need to wait until the children are ready for that. Jacob hasn't been gone but a year and a half…I'm willing to wait as long as I need to."

Rose looked at him and frowned slightly. "I can only see one problem with that statement."

Edward frowned, too, and said, "What's that?"

Rose leaned forward and set her glass of wine down on the table. "You already are part of the family."

I leaned up and kissed Edward on the cheek and he hugged me back. Rose's observations were apt; the girls already loved him and JJ was already making headway. Edward fit into the family like a glove, and into my heart even snugger.

_Nothing bad can possibly happen now. Everything is perfect._

**A/N: So, did it go the way you assumed? Or was it different? I'd love to hear what you thought!**


	25. Chapter 24 - Breaking Down

**A/N: What!? I am posting early?! Yes I am! I wanted to celebrate the fact that the rest of this story is entirely written! Totally finished! Complete! So, my celebration is victory! **

**Thanks again to my wonderful fantastic betas. You two are awesome!**

**Enjoy the chapter a few days early!**

Chapter 24 – Breaking Down

"Determination gives you the resolve to keep going in spite of the roadblocks that lay before you."

Denis Waitley

Edward

When I was in high school, I was invincible. I know people say that, but I really was! I drank beer once and never got in trouble. I slept with my high school girlfriend and my parents felt so sorry for me that she got yanked away, they didn't punish me.

However, as an adult, I find that my invincibility has left me. The cocky teenager has been replaced by a man who is desperately concerned about doing the wrong thing and any repercussions that may follow.

As I sat on the deck in the house I rented, I watched the clouds roll by, remembering when just such an incident happened. Hindsight is 20/20, as they say, but with all my heart I wished that I had thought about my reaction more. It would have solved so much.

About a week ago, Bella had called me after work.

"_Hey, beautiful. How are you doing?" I said, answering the phone._

"_Okay, I guess. The kids have been driving me crazy lately, and I feel like I'm not getting enough sleep. Work is slow right now, so the days just creep by…I'm sorry, I guess I just called to complain." She sighed into the phone._

"_How about I take you guys out tonight? Dinner, maybe?"_

"_I don't know…Emily is teething again, and is super cranky. The last time she had a tooth coming in, she was fine, but this time…well, let's just say my normally super sweet child is a raging brat right now. I think I just want to go home and relax tonight. Thank you for the offer, though."_

"_No problem. Is there anything I can do for you?"_

"_Not tonight. Just listening is nice."_

_Bella's voice made alarm bells go off in my head. She sounded so exhausted that she could drop at any moment. "How about we drive up to Tahoe this weekend? Maybe getting the kids out of the house will help?"_

"_Oh, um…" Bella's voice faded for a moment. "We actually have plans this weekend that I can't break."_

_This is where my stupidity kicked into high gear. I got frustrated…I got frustrated with a single mom who didn't have the time for me. It wasn't my finest hour._

"_With who?"_

"_Huh?"_

"_Who do you have plans with?"_

_Bella paused for a moment, again, before continuing. "With my children. What's your problem?"_

_I almost stopped myself, but the monster had been woken up inside me already, and I just couldn't. "Is there another guy?"_

"_What?!" Bella screeched into the phone. "Are you kidding me? Do you seriously think I'm seeing someone else? Just how much free time do you think I have?"_

"_If it's not another guy, then why are you being so secretive about this weekend?" For some reason, I couldn't stop myself._

"_You know what, Edward? I called to have a conversation with my boyfriend about the horrible time I'm having right now. All I needed was a little support, and you accuse me of cheating on you? Go to hell."_

Bella had hung up the phone after that and hadn't returned my calls for the rest of the week.

After the twentieth or so text had gone unanswered, I'd decided to give her some space. Unfortunately, I hadn't made many friends in the month I'd been in Reno, so I was all alone contemplating opening a beer at noon and feeling quite lonely.

A car I didn't recognize pulled into my driveway. For a moment I thought—hoped—it was Bella, but Emmett got out instead. He was carrying a pizza and a case of beer. He didn't smile as he walked up to me, but he didn't look angry either.

"What's up, man?" Emmett said, sitting down on the chair opposite mine.

"Oh, you know, not too much. How're you doing?" I wasn't sure if he knew about my riff with Bella, and I wasn't sure I was comfortable talking to him about it anyway. Emmett and I had hung out a few times in the last month, but we were far from becoming best friends.

"I hear you and Bella had a fight a few days ago," he said casually, bringing up the very thing I hadn't wanted to.

"Yeah," I said, shrugging. _How much can I really talk to him about?_

"Well, I know that she isn't talking to you right now, so...Rose suggested that it would be better for the situation if I came over and explained."

I waited, unsure of what to say. Emmett cracked open a beer and grabbed a slice of pizza, holding the box out for me to grab one also. He sat quietly for a moment, before he shifted his chair so he was sitting next to me, staring at the sky.

"I met Jake after they moved to Reno. It was a total chance encounter at a grocery store, of all places. I was rushing to grab the stuff on my list and accidentally ran into a display, throwing cans of food all over the place. Jake was shopping with Emily and stopped to help me pick everything up. We struck up a conversation and somehow ended up becoming friends. He explained how they had just moved here and didn't really know anyone yet, so I offered to show him around town.

"Rose and I became friends with both Jake and Bella, and the kids were wonderful. Rose and I don't have any kids, so it was nice hanging out with children." Emmett shifted a little and took a sip of the beer before continuing. "Jake and I were like long lost brothers, and Rose and Bella got close really fast, too. It was a great friendship.

"When he died, I was devastated, but knew that Bella and the kids had to be feeling it much harder than I was. I mean, we had only known each other for a couple years, you know? Jake was a good man, Edward, but he and Bella had a great friendship, not a marriage. Rose and I used to talk to each other about how little they touched, kissed…or whatever. They never sat next to each other, and they never held hands or anything. Rose said that Bella seemed like she was starved for attention, but didn't think that Bella would ever say anything to Jake about it.

"Anyway, I wanted to tell you how we met so you can understand something. Jake and I were close, yes, but I hadn't known him for all that long before he died. In the last year and a half, my loyalties shifted to Bella and the children, not solely Jake." Emmett turned to face me, and his face was fierce. "I know what happened with you two the other day, and I have to tell you that I couldn't be angrier at you. Bella is the most loyal person I've ever met in my entire life, and I can't believe what you said to her. I know that I shouldn't be getting involved, but it's important that you understand something. If you hurt her, or the kids, I _will_ kill you with my bare hands without thinking twice about it."

I hung my head in shame as he spoke to me…no longer feeling invincible as I had in my youth. I had been stupid, and I was being called out on it. He wasn't saying anything that I didn't know, though…it was an assumption that he was protective of Bella and the kids; an apt one, apparently.

"I understand, Emmett, I really do. Trust me, I know I was a moron. I tried to call her back immediately after she hung up on me, but she hasn't been taking my calls or returning my texts. I'm not sure what to do, or even where she is to be able to apologize."

Emmett was silent for a moment. "Today is Jake's birthday. Only the second one since his death. Bella took the kids out today to spend time talking about him."

And there it was. I'd thought that there wasn't anything that could make me feel worse about the situation, but it had happened. I struggled to keep myself poised and in control, but I felt that control slipping. Emmett clapped his hand on my back, in support, maybe, but whatever it was it released everything I had been holding in.

"Emmett, I don't know what to do," I said, leaning forward and resting my head in my hands. "I am a total ass, and I don't know how to fix it."

"Listen, man, I like you, I do. You are great with the kids, and you are normally nice to Bella, but she is all mixed up right now. Bella is loyal, remember? She struggles every day with the loyalty she has to Jake because of the children and her own friendship with him, and the love that she feels for you. She is a single mom of three kids with a very demanding job, and just trying to stay afloat. Bella is the last person to ask for help, typically, but she needs it from you.

"Don't bother her today, though. Today has to be for her and her children, period. But, you need to do something for her that shows her you will help her…that you respect her boundaries about Jake. It should get better, but for now because of the kids she has to think about him every day."

"I understand that…I do. I just wish she had told me what was going on. I didn't know it was Jake's birthday!"

"I don't know exactly what was said, but I have a feeling that she would have told you if you hadn't fought." Emmett sat back in the chair and took another bite of pizza. "Blending into a family is never easy."

"Ha! Don't I know it. Tell me something, Emmett."

"Hmm?"

"What was Jake like?"

Emmett smiled for the first time since he had shown up at my house. "He was really funny. He had a great sense of humor…perhaps a little unorthodox, but really funny. He was the kind of dad who would get down on the ground to play with his kids, even if it was playing with Barbies. He really loved his kids and showed them that every day."

"One more question…" I took a deep breath. "Do I have a chance of integrating into this family?"

Emmett laughed, which was not what I had expected. "Bella loves you, the girls adore you and JJ is coming around. I think he'll love you, too, before long. You already _are_ integrated into this family, Ed! The funny thing is that Rose and I can see it so clearly, but you are the one who isn't seeing it."

"Does Bella see it?"

"Not only does she see it, she's shocked at how quickly it happened. You moving here was a great idea."

"Doesn't feel like that some days."

"Only the days when you are being an ass."

"Good point, Emmett…and thank you." However I was feeling at the moment, I was glad that Emmett had come over.

"I may be pissed at you, man, but I can see how much you love her. You're a good guy," he said, standing up. "Now, come on you sad sack of shit. Let's go play some pool or something."

I walked away from my house feeling the heavy burden of my idiocy. Somehow I would have to make it right.

**A/N: Boy, you guys are smart. You totally called that things were going to go downhill. How will Edward fix this? Should he have to? What do you think is going on in Bella's head? You will find out with the conclusion to this issue on Tuesday!**


	26. Chapter 25 - Challenges

**A/N: So sorry about the delay! Life got in the way, and I'm super sorry that I'm late.**

**First of all, I have to take a minute to talk to my beta's. First, torisurfergirl, I hope you feel better soon! Second, starpower31, thank you so much for the help!**

**Enjoy! And I'll try not to be late next week!**

Chapter 25 – Challenges

Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.

Bernice Johnson Reagon

Bella

I kept replaying my conversation with Edward over and over in my head. I guess I was trying to find some clue as to why he thought I was cheating on him…was it something I said? How could he have lost faith in me so easily?

With my stomach all tied in knots, I took my kids to the cemetery to visit Jacob's grave. It was a beautiful afternoon in Reno; not too hot and a nice cool breeze. We left him flowers and then drove to Denny's where we ate breakfast and talked about our favorite memories of Jake.

Emily just smiled at each of us, not really contributing. It still broke my heart that my little girl didn't remember her father. She was almost five now, ready to go into Kindergarten, and building her childhood memories—Jake wasn't one of them. So, in order to help her out, I told her about when she was a baby, how happy Jake was to have her and how he used to just sit and play with her for hours.

"Daddy loved me?" Emily asked, bringing tears to my eyes.

"Daddy loved you very much," I responded.

"And Daddy's dead?" she asked, eyes wide and bright.

"Yes, Daddy's dead," JJ said, saving me from having to say it. "But he's a part of us…at least, that's what Rose says."

"What does Aunt Rose say about Daddy?" Leah asked, leaning across the table.

"Rose says," he began, leaning across the table also. "That Daddy is a part of us every day. So, even if he is gone now we'll always have him with us."

"How is Daddy part of us?" Emily asked.

This time, I was able to speak. "Leah and JJ look just like Daddy…they carry his face with them wherever they go. And, Emily, while you may look just like me, your Daddy loved you so much that his love is still in your heart and soul. You carry his love with you and will always have a piece of him."

Her eyes went wide, and I wondered just how much she understood of what I was saying. I vowed to do this every year, so at least she would have our memorials in her memory. It was the least I could do for my youngest, so she could remember something of her father.

My eyes met JJ's, and he instinctively changed the subject. He told the story of the first time he and Jake had gone fishing, and how he had fallen into the lake. JJ was good at telling stories and soon had both girls giggling.

By the time we got home, I was emotionally spent. Remembering Jake was something that I did every day, but having full, heartbreaking conversations with the children about him came only a couple times a year. And, boy, was it draining.

The rest of the afternoon sped by quickly, and before I realized it, the day was over. I put the girls to bed, telling them how much I loved them and how much their dad had loved them, too. When it was time for JJ to go to bed, I said the same thing to him. His eyes got moist and he just nodded, hugged me goodnight, and ran to his room.

I was sitting on the couch in the living room feeling quite sorry for myself when my cellphone rang. Annoyed, thinking it was Edward, I looked at my phone. Esme. Huh…that's odd.

"Hello?"

"Hello, dear, how are you doing today?" Esme's normally cheerful voice had a slight edge to it, almost like she was mad at me.

"Fine, and you? You sound upset," I said, crossing my fingers this wasn't about Edward.

"I just got off the phone with Edward," she began. There was a huge knot in my stomach as I waited for her to continue. "He tells me that you two are having a riff?"

"Well, sort of. He was extremely insensitive the other day, and I just needed time to get over what he said before I could talk to him."

"Bella, I understand what he said must have been hard, but you have to understand the position Edward is in now that he lives near you. Especially when you are being secretive about plans. He feels vulnerable and out of his element. He wasn't trying to hurt you, he just acted without thinking."

Esme had become a second mother to me in the last couple months. Our conversations had been heartwarming, and helpful. But—even though I knew her intentions were good—this conversation was making me angry.

"Esme," I said, interrupting her. "I don't think that you fully understand the situation. I called him frustrated that my life seems to be going to shit these days, and he starts accusing me of cheating on him. The truth of the matter is that it's Jake's birthday today. I am trying like hell to separate my children from Jake, so that they have untainted memories of Edward that are totally separate from their dad. He didn't let me explain before he started accusing me."

Esme was silent for a moment. She was probably replaying her conversation with Edward over in her head, to see if he gave her the wrong impression, or if she thought it up on her own. Eventually, she would figure it out and say something. I remained patient as she thought it over.

"Yes, Edward did say something about Jake's birthday…" she muttered.

_How the hell did he know?! I hadn't spoken to him since that first conversation!_

"Oh, dear, I believe I have stepped in it this time," Esme was saying. "I am sorry, Bella, for jumping to conclusions based on a conversation with Edward."

"It's okay, Esme. Just promise me that if you want to get involved in our fights, you have to hear my side _and_ his side before you can make a conclusion. Deal?"

"Deal. Bella, I'm so sorry!"

We ended the conversation shortly after that, with her promise that she won't meddle in our lives again. However, knowing Esme as I did, I knew that she would meddle; I just hoped that she would do it fairly next time.

On the surface, Esme was a wonderful woman, mother, and friend. She had a tendency to insert herself into others' lives without being asked and could be quite bossy. Since my mother was much the same—except for the fact that _my_ mother was extremely selfish, and Esme doesn't have an ounce of selfishness in her—it was easy for me to deal with her. In fact, it was easier than dealing with my mother when she had been alive.

Breaking my concentration on the subject of Esme, I wandered outside to sit on the front porch. Even after my conversation with his mother, I still wasn't sure I knew what to do about Edward.

~~ANB~~

Edward

The day after Jake's birthday, I decided to drive over to Bella's. I desperately needed her forgiveness and understanding. My mother had helped, a bit. She had listened to me and told me that I needed to talk to Bella, and if she wouldn't take my calls, then I needed to make her listen. So, I ended up at Bella's house, sitting in my car, working up the nerve to go up to the door.

After about ten minutes of staring at the door, I finally stopped overthinking and got out of my car. I grabbed the flowers from the front seat and walked up to the door. I ran my hand through my hair then rang the doorbell.

The door opened cautiously, and Bella stood on the other side. Her face was stiff as she smiled slightly.

"Edward," she said, not opening the screen door to let me in.

"Bella, I just wanted to apologize for my behavior. I was stupid and insensitive, and honestly I can't believe I said any of that. I know it was Jake's birthday yesterday, and I am totally supportive of you wanting to spend time with your children on that day. I just can't say how sorry I am."

Bella stared at me for a moment before she opened the screen door, allowing me to follow her inside. The living room was empty, so we sat down on the couch a few feet apart, the silence growing almost uncomfortable.

"Look, Edward, I know that I should have told you what yesterday was…" she began. When she paused, I jumped in.

"No, Bella, you don't have to do that. Yesterday was a day for you and your kids, and I had no business trying to get involved. Emmett told me that you always do something with your kids to remember Jake, and I think that's a great idea! I never should have said anything. I should have just respected your privacy."

"Emmett told you it was Jake's birthday?" She seemed genuinely surprised at hearing that.

"Yes, he stopped by yesterday to tell me what an idiot I was being."

She chuckled and then reached over to grab my hand. "There are going to be times that I have to spend time with my children alone, Edward. If our relationship goes the way we both hope it will, you need to understand that. They had a father before you and need time to remember him. It's not fair to them to ignore that Jake lived. And, at least for now, it's not appropriate for you to be with us on those days.

"The children like you, a lot actually, but Jake was their father and they loved him very much. I have to separate you and him until we get farther away from his death and can come to terms with it. To be honest, I still need to come to terms with it as well."

Nodding, I ran my thumb across her hand hoping to display comfort. "I understand that, and I promise it won't happen again."

"Well, then I promise that I won't keep things from you. I will tell you what we are planning on doing so that you don't freak out next time."

Unsure of what to say, I just continued to hold her hand. After a few moments, Emily came bounding in. As soon as she saw me, she ran and jumped on my lap, throwing her arms around me.

"Edward!" she squealed.

Dropping Bella's hand, I hugged the sweet little girl back. Seeing her actually made me feel worse about the situation.

"We went to Denny's yesterday!" she began. "I got to eat chock-ot pancakes!"

"I love chocolate pancakes!" I said to her. "Did you have a good day yesterday?"

"Yeah. Daddy's dead," she almost whispered. Bella and I had talked about her in the past, and how little she really understood about Jake's death. Her five-year-old mind hadn't fully comprehended the situation, so I had to make sure that I was careful.

"Yes, he is, sweetheart. But, your daddy loved you very much."

"Mommy says Daddy's love is inside me."

"It sure is."

Bella smiled at me over her shoulder, as she stood up and began walking to the kitchen. "Coffee, Edward?"

"Please."

Leah wandered out of her room just after that. She made her way over and sat down right beside me. She looked more subdued than normal; Leah was a very active little girl.

"Daddy's birthday was yesterday," was all she said.

"Yeah, I know."

"Did you know my daddy?" Her big eyes stared up at me.

"No, honey, I didn't. But, your mom has told me a lot about him. I heard that he used to play with you guys a lot."

"Oh, yes! He did," she said, smiling. "He used to help me comb my Barbie's hair and make cupcakes for my dolls. I hated it when he brushed my hair, though. It hurt."

I looked up to see Bella standing near the living room, smiling with her eyes bright. "It's important to remember things like that about him. You can take those memories with you always." Leah nodded solemnly at me as I spoke. Emily snuggled closer to me as JJ walked in the room.

"Hi, Edward," he said, flopping on the chair next to the couch. "Leah, I remember when dad used to brush your hair! He used to tell you to calm down, and that it would only hurt for a second."

"Yeah, but he kept brushing! And it _really_ hurt!" she said, smiling again.

"I was always jealous of you with your long hair." JJ sat up and looked at Leah's puzzled face. "Dad always used to give you a treat after he brushed your hair. I remember asking him once if I could grow my hair out!"

They both laughed, and Bella still stood at the edge of the living room, now actively crying.

We continued like that for a while, my coffee long since forgotten. The kids would share their memories of Jake, and Bella continued to cry. It was a wonderful moment with her kids, and I think that it showed JJ that I wasn't going to ignore his father at all. It was a healing conversation…for all of us.

**A/N: So, did that go down the way that you thought it would?**


	27. Chapter 26 - Birthdays

**A/N: Hello again! We are winding down a little, and this is more fluff than anything else. However, I think you'll enjoy it!**

**Sorry about the delay this week, but one of my best friends got married and I was the maid of honor, so it was a pretty busy weekend!**

**Thanks to my awesome betas, torisurfergirl and starpower31 for their help!**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 26 – Birthdays

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."

Lao Tzu

Bella

**E: Happy birthday, beautiful. I hear 30 is the new 20, so live it up! I love you!**

I stared at the birthday text I received from Edward for a while before I got out of bed. It was nice, but I usually didn't celebrate my birthday. I didn't exactly have good memories of the day, and I would rather just ignore that it was happening at all. Out of nowhere, I flashed to my last birthday with Jake.

"_Oh come on, Bells. I turned 30 a couple weeks ago! How can you be depressed about turning 28? You are married, it doesn't matter what you look like."_

"_It's just frustrating. Emily is three tomorrow, and I weight the exact same as I did when I gave birth to her. I need to lose weight."_

"_Who cares what you weight? You are married and no one should be looking at you, anyway. Get over it and come make some cake. The kids will want some for your birthday."_

Jake always had a way of making me feel small and insignificant. Through the entire marriage, he had never once done anything special on my birthday, so I was forced to assume he hadn't really cared about it.

Emily had almost been born on my birthday; just a half hour earlier and she would have. But, I was grateful that she hadn't. This way she got a day of her own, separate from me. Jake had wanted us to share a birthday and was almost upset when midnight had hit while I was in labor. I tried to brush it off, as I did with everything Jake said to me, but it still ate at me.

"_I don't understand, Bella! You always got good grades in high school, how can you be so stupid?"_

"_Bella, stop acting like a whiney little child. Seriously, JJ is more mature than you, and he's only two!"_

"_Oh, just deal with it. I can't read your mind, and I can't tell when you are upset. Besides, even if I could read your mind, being upset about that is just stupid!"_

As I remembered some of the things Jake used to tell me, I could feel myself shrink a little. _Insignificant, worthless and stupid. That's how Jake made me feel._

I knew that everyone always says you shouldn't compare two people, because everyone's reactions to things are always going to be different…but I couldn't help comparing Edward to Jake. When I had gotten upset with Edward he had listened to me, appreciated my feelings and talked until I felt better. He didn't always agree with what I was feeling, but he let me feel that he cared about them. Jake had never cared…and I often wondered how happy he had been.

**B: Thank you! I love you, too :)**

Eventually, I got out of bed. I made my way to the kitchen, praying that I had remembered to make the coffee last night and set the auto feature. I was surprised to see JJ up and making eggs.

"What are you doing up, kiddo?" I asked him, sitting down at the table.

"Edward said that I should make you breakfast in bed." He pouted, upset that I was awake. "But, since you are up already, I'll just serve you at the table. You want coffee?"

I stared at my twelve-year-old, seeing finally how old he had become, and accepted the coffee from him. I took a sip, and with a careful mask on my face, I told him how amazing it was. In reality, it was obvious that JJ had made the coffee, and not me, because it was so watery you could hardly tell it was coffee.

"Edward said that, huh? When were you talking to Edward?" I smiled and settled back in my chair.

JJ blushed a little and turned back to the eggs on the stove. "Edward got me a pay-as-you-go phone last week. He said that it was just until after your birthday. We have been talking every night, coming up with plans."

My eyebrows disappeared into my bangs. "Seriously?"

"Yeah," he said, sheepishly. "Please don't be mad at him! He only got me the phone so we could talk without you knowing, so we could surprise you with a—" He stopped talking immediately, and turned around to grab the milk from the refrigerator.

"Surprise me with a what?"

"Um, I can't tell you. Please don't make me! Edward swore me to secrecy!"

I laughed, stood up and walked over to him. "I'm not mad, and I won't make you tell me what you have planned. Just remember, all three of you have school today and I have to work. Whatever you have planned needs to be after all of that. Okay?"

He nodded and scooped the eggs onto a plate on the counter. He handed it to me and turned around and stuck two waffles in the toaster. JJ continued to move around the kitchen, as if he was completely at home and that's when it hit me.

"Who taught you how to cook?" I asked, digging into my eggs which were surprisingly good.

"Edward did. He gave me a book on how to learn how to cook, and then he walked me through several attempts at making eggs and coffee and stuff."

I stared at him for a few minutes. "JJ, when did you and Edward become so close? Just a few months ago you didn't like him. What changed?"

"It was the day after Dad's birthday," he replied immediately, not turning around to face me. "I was starting to be okay with him before, but when we all sat around telling stories about Dad and he listened, talked to us and laughed…that's when I realized that he wasn't trying to replace him. He'll always let us remember Dad. I realized that he and I could be friends."

Shock poured off of me at hearing his words. Obviously, I had known that the kids had appreciated Edward on that day, but I never knew to what extent. Having nothing to say, I continued eating my eggs.

Leah and Emily woke up soon after that and were happy to find their waffles already made for them. Emily bit tiny pieces off of hers, no syrup, and Leah got a fork and dug into hers that had _too_ _much_ syrup. JJ brought us all juice or milk, depending on what we asked for, before he sat down to eat.

JJ helped Emily get ready for school, and I attempted to comb Leah's hair out. After hearing her Jake story, I had bought a detangler spray and Leah was pretty happy about it. By the time I had combed her tangles out, Emily was ready for school. JJ turned on cartoons so that I could get ready, and I wandered into my room.

I had left my phone in there when I got up, and I came back to several texts and Facebook notifications. Sighing, I ignored them while I got ready for work. Facebook wasn't exactly useful if you were trying to ignore your birthday.

The day sped by with several birthday wishes from coworkers, cake from my assistant and flowers from Edward. My office smelled like cake and lilies, which were my favorite flowers. I was still ignoring Facebook.

I picked up the kids on my way home, and I noticed JJ had a little smile on his face. Knowing that look generally meant trouble, I almost stopped to car to ask him about it. But, he and Edward had some sort of surprise waiting for me, so I decided to let it go for the moment.

Edward's car was in the driveway when we got home, which hadn't surprised me, but what did was the fact that my father was inside it waiting for us.

"Dad? What are you doing here?" I asked, jumping out of the car and running over to give him a hug.

"You'll see," he said, with a twinkle in his eye. "Happy birthday, Bells."

"Edward!" Emily squealed, running up to him and throwing her arms around him.

"What, no hug for me Emmy?" my Dad said, laughing.

"Momma has you. I'll hug you later," was the soft reply.

Edward laughed, picked Emily up and started heading for the door. He smiled at me when we got to the door. Curiously, I opened the door to find Rose and Emmett inside also.

"Edward Anthony Cullen and Jacob Michael Black, Junior, did you two throw me a birthday party?" I turned to him with a fake scowl on my face.

"Guilty," he and JJ said at the same time, grinning at each other.

"You are so going to pay for this," I whispered to Edward, who only grinned bigger.

Rose and Emmett had decorated my living room with birthday balloons and streamers. I noticed two cakes and a ton of presents on the table. When I turned an accusing stare at Edward, he laughed.

"We are celebrating you and Emily together. JJ thought you wouldn't want too much fuss, so we decided to incorporate her birthday as well."

The dual birthday party was something that had never happened in my house before. Jake had never done anything for my birthday, ignoring it in favor of Emily's, even though it wasn't the same day. Emily had been overjoyed when she saw the cake and the balloons and was sitting happily on Edward's lap waiting for her presents.

It was actually a fun evening. Emily had the bulk of the presents, much to my happiness, and the cakes were fantastic. For the first time after I'd married Jake, I hadn't had to make the cake for my birthday. It made for a nice change.

Rose and Emmett left a few hours later, when Emily was starting to droop from all the excitement. My Dad and Edward put the girls in bed, and JJ smiled at me as he was walking to his room.

"Did you have a fun birthday, Mom?"

"I really did. Thank you so much, kiddo," I said, hugging him tightly.

"Happy birthday, Mom!" He ran off to his room, leaving my Dad and Edward sitting in the living room.

"Well, beautiful, now for our gift," Edward began. "I asked Charlie to come up for the weekend so that I could give you my gift." My Dad nodded, smiling. Edward continued, "Tomorrow, after work and school for the kids, I'm taking you to Tahoe for the weekend. Charlie is here to watch the kids."

To say I was shocked would have been quite an understatement. "Dad, you came all the way here just to watch my kids?"

"Yeah, well, I don't get to see them all that often, so when Edward offered to pay for me to come up for a long weekend, I jumped on the chance." He shrugged, but continued smiling. "Besides, you hardly ever get a break from the kids."

"Seriously?" I looked between Dad and Edward. They both nodded, and I launched myself at my Dad first, and then Edward, hugging them both. "Thank you!"

"We leave tomorrow night, beautiful. I'm glad you are happy. Happy birthday."

**A/N: Excited about the trip? So am I! You'll get it next week!**


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